Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Advent Day One December 01 2015

Advent Day One
December 01 2015
For The Love of Harley

Bucks Fizz


‘Don’t speak,’ said Gran sharply, without turning from the computer screen. ‘I’m just about to win us a Harley Davidson.’
Beth stopped mid-sentence and swung round from the ironing board. Gran was hunched over Beth’s desk, in front of eBay, a look of fierce concentration on her face. 
‘Gran, stop!’ cried Beth, rushing over and trying to grab the mouse from her grandmother’s hand. ‘You’re only on there to buy a few books. You can’t surely need a motorbike at eighty. And anyway, how are you going to pay for it?’
‘With your PayPal account, I imagine,’ said Gran, sheepishly. ‘I haven’t got one of my own. And the auction’s just ended... See? It’s mine! So you’ll soon see how I ride. Haven’t been on a bike in years.’
Beth leaned over Gran’s shoulder and stared from the screen to her grandmother and back, incredulous. ‘Gran! A Harley Davidson? Condition, used. Previous owners, two! What are you doing?’ She shook her head in mock disbelief. ‘I should have kept an eye on you,’ she said. ‘You’re always up to something!’
She straightened up and perched herself on the arm of Gran’s chair. Impulsively, she gave the old lady a hug, feeling a surge of affection for her that she certainly didn’t deserve at that minute. ‘Well… so long as you pay me back…’ 
Her words were intentionally light, but a seed of worry was germinating at the back of her mind. Not about the money. Gran had loads. But her mother had whispered privately when dropping her off at Beth’s house: ‘Keep an eye on her, will you? See how she’s managing. I’m a little bit worried... at her age, you know...’ 
Gran usually lived on her own, sixty miles away and Beth knew her mum worried too much about her. Beth knew Gran was fine. But if Gran started doing things that Mum could label ‘bizarre’, Beth was going to have trouble defending her. She pushed the thought down. This was Gran having fun, as she always had, for as long as Beth could remember.
‘Gran! What mad idea you dream up next?’ She stroked her grandmother’s cheek, gave her a friendly pat on the arm and stood up. ‘Who’d have thought it of you? A motorbike!’  
Gran smiled a secretive smile, solemnly clicked out of eBay and shut the computer down. ‘You can pay for it later,’ she said, standing up and stretching. ‘We’ll have to go to the bank this afternoon and transfer some money to your account… Do you know? I’m excited. A real Harley Davidson at last!’ 
Before Beth could ask what she meant by ‘at last’, the old lady disappeared upstairs so fast that Beth almost imagined a draught. There was nothing wrong with her physically, at least, she reflected ruefully.
   
‘So what is it about the motorbike?’ Beth asked casually as they laid the table for lunch together. Sharing leisurely meals with Gran was making this visit a proper treat. 
‘Oh that. It’s a long story,’ said Gran, stroking her finger slowly round the edge of a plate.
‘Well there’s plenty of time before you go home. Mum and Dad aren’t back for another three weeks.’
Beth watched expectantly as Gran tore open a roll and stuffed it with cheese. One of her earliest memories was afternoon tea with Gran – filling home-baked rolls with anything they could find in the larder of her old Victorian kitchen. 
They’d always been close – more like mother and daughter really – sharing many hours together while her parents had built up their bookshop business. Now, years later, her parents were on a 30th wedding anniversary cruise. With no one living near enough if Gran needed help, Mum had decreed Gran should stay with Beth while they were away. Neither Gran nor Beth had demurred. They were like two schoolgirls in a secret society.
‘Madeira, Canaries, Channel Islands...’ mused Gran, licking a finger.
‘Stop evading the question! Why a motorbike when you said you wanted something new to read at bedtime?’
Gran looked up and grinned. Her lined face was transformed. ‘Well since your mum and dad can’t hear me, I’ll tell you how it happened…
‘I was always a bit of a tomboy, you know. Playing down the lane when I was a kid, talking to the men at the garage where my dad – your great grandad – did the accounts. I even went in to help him after school when I was older. Much better than learning how to do housework! And that’s where I met Charles, bless his heart. He was always bringing in that old bike of his. The sort with wide handlebars. Took me for a spin in it sometimes. I guess that’s when I lost my heart. He was so…’
Gran paused, as if unable to find just the right word. Beth suspected she was remembering him, the wind in his hair, the grin on his face, the noise of the bike and the feel of being a passenger on the back. ‘Sexy’ was the word that came to mind.
‘He was what they call… a smasher?’ she ventured, erring on the side of wisdom. ‘I do wish I’d met him. He must have been okay if he liked you!’
‘Oh Beth, you always know how to say the right thing! Pour me another cup, would you?’
Beth obliged. ‘So you married him?’ she prompted.
‘Oh yes. But it caused a furore of the first order!’ said Gran, gesturing with her arms to show the size of the trouble she’d caused. ‘How dare I marry someone who went around on one of those things? What was I thinking of?’
She frowned. ‘They were a bit straight-laced, you know. Wanted me to marry a professor or something equally boring. Hah! The thought of it. Where’s the adventure in a musty old university room, I ask you?’
Beth smiled. They talked on about Gran’s childhood, making third and fourth cups of tea as the sun moved round the sky, sending a sharp burst of light into Beth’s little kitchen-diner. The setting might be different but it felt as if she were young again, enthralled by Gran’s never-ending fund of stories, hoping the day would never end, and that her parents would not come to pick her up. 

When they strolled down to the shops, enjoying the cool breeze that had blown up, Beth was pleased to see how well Gran was walking – two miles every day, she claimed, at eighty. Beth hoped she’d be able to do the same at that age. But ride a Harley Davidson? She didn’t think so. And some people, she reflected soberly, might even think it wasn’t quite normal to want to. But she simply couldn’t accept that Gran was anything other than in her right mind – that sort of thing happened to other grans, not hers.
Outside the bank, they paused to admire the council’s flower tubs, cascading with geraniums and busy lizzies. 
‘We always used to have flowers around when Charles was alive,’ Gran said wistfully. ‘He wasn’t just a motorbike man, you know. He liked living things, too. Mind you, you’d have thought that bike of his was alive, the way he tended it!’
‘You still haven’t told me why the Harley Davidson in particular, Gran,’ Beth said. It was like pulling teeth. But she needed an answer to assuage her doubts. ‘Dad always said you were dark, difficult and dangerous. I’m beginning to agree with him,’ she teased.
‘It was his heart’s desire,’ said Gran, simply. ‘He saved up for one from the day we married. Worked down at the picture house in town. Didn’t get much pay, and then your mother came along and we had nothing to spare. But he still dreamed of owning one.’
She bent to one of the flowers and took a long moment savouring its smell. When she continued, her voice was stronger. ‘We can all dream. Sometimes you get what you dream of, sometimes you don’t. But Charles was cheated. He got lung trouble and had to give up riding. Couldn’t even manage the small bike he had–– 
   ‘Oh don’t feel sad,’ she said quickly as Beth opened her mouth to speak. ‘We had several more years and great fun. But the thing was, he never got the bike. Never got the Harley Davidson. And something’s been unfinished all these years. Well, now I’ve done it for him!’
Again, Beth felt a stirring of disquiet, much as she was devoted to Gran. But all she said was, ‘Well, let’s get on and go home and pay for it, then. Usually people arrange delivery as soon as they get the money. But I’ve no idea how they transport bikes!’ 
She couldn’t make herself ask what she was thinking, which was: what was Gran going to do with it? She shook her head as they went into the bank. 
That night, Beth fell asleep worrying about the promised arrival of the bike in two days’ time. The owner, going by the name of ‘grimlad26’, was using a trailer firm to send it down from York. After they’d settled it by email, Gran had seemed strangely contented all evening, quietly turning the pages of a magazine, eating chocolates and humming a little to herself. Stop worrying, Beth told herself. But she was anxious and restless. As if she’d colluded with a fantasy. 

When Thursday came, Gran and Beth waited, one excitedly, the other anxiously, for the promised trailer to arrive, bearing the ‘chopper/cruiser with lots of customised features and only 1875 miles on the clock’ – according to the auction details that Beth had read over and over in the intervening day. Gran seemed completely unfazed about becoming the owner of such a machine.
Teatime approached and they stood together at the chopping board in the kitchen preparing vegetables for the evening meal, hardly talking. 
As the clock struck six, Beth’s anxiety turned to frustration. ‘I don’t think it’s coming,’ she said flatly, slamming the lid on the pan with the broccoli. ‘I think we’ve been conned. The man definitely said Thursday and Thursday is nearly over. Delivery firms don’t work this late.’
‘Conned?’ said Gran, looking up from slicing the carrots. ‘Of course not. We’d give him bad feedback. And why would a Harley Davidson owner con us? They’re not like that.’
   ‘People are like all sorts of things these days,’ said Beth, her cross mood evaporating to sadness. ‘I think––’
A sudden noise penetrated the walls of the kitchen. They froze and listened. Unmistakeably, an engine was roaring up the street, louder and louder until it could only be right outside. Then the sound cut dead. 
Beth stared at Gran in the silence. ‘…we should go and see,’ she finished. Her mouth was nearly too dry to swallow.

Beth nudged protectively in front of Gran as they raced down the hall. Pulling open the door, they were faced with a swathe of shiny black leather and a space-like helmet in pristine gold and black. Beth felt Gran shiver as they stood side by side staring open-mouthed at the man on the step. He was probably middle-aged, though it was difficult to tell under all the gear.
‘Grimlad26,’ he said from inside the helmet in a warm, friendly voice to Beth. ‘Are you Mrs Bickley?’
 ‘This is Mrs Bickley,’ said Beth indicating Gran. The slightest flicker of something Beth couldn’t read crossed Grimlad’s face.
But Gran’s eyes were on the gleaming machine at the gate – a vision in chrome at the front, middle and back. ‘What happened to the trailer?’ she asked. ‘Well, never mind, you’re here now. I knew you’d come. But you were very late,’ she accused, lifting her lined face and glaring fiercely at him.
‘Trouble with the firm, Mrs Bickley,’ said Grimlad cheerfully. ‘So I decided to ride her down. Took a bit longer than the trailer job would have. And added three hundred miles to the clock, unfortunately. But she went like a dream. Forgotten how much fun she was. Work takes all my free time these days,’ he added regretfully.
Gran walked out on the pavement. ‘The keys?’ she asked, in a dreamy sort of voice.
‘Madam, you need a license to drive one of these! I assumed it was for your son or daughter.’
‘It was for my husband Charles, actually,’ said Gran. ‘Deceased.’ Her shoulders slumped. ‘And you’re right. I don’t have a licence. I got carried away.’
Beth saw the rapture drain from Gran’s face and an intense sadness flood into it as she walked round the Harley Davidson, stroking the leather seat reverentially and inspecting the gleaming bodywork. 
Beth looked at Grimlad and raised her eyebrows, grimacing in resignation. She had no idea how to handle this situation. It was getting rapidly out of hand. But Grimlad looked her directly in the eye, seemed to understand something he read there, and slowly nodded his head.
‘Mrs Bickley, I have a suggestion, if I may?’ he said, addressing Gran’s back.
Gran turned to look at him. Beth’s heart lurched to see her face. She should have stopped this ‘bit of fun’ before it started.
Grimlad unlocked the bootbox. ‘There’s a spare crash helmet in here. Would you... sorry... May I have the pleasure of giving you a spin on the old machine, M’Lady? It would be a privilege.’
For a moment no one moved. Then Gran’s lips turned up slightly at the edges and a grin of anticipation spread over her face. ‘Would you? That would be… I mean, thank you kindly, gracious sir.’ She made him a tiny curtsy. 
Beth felt as if she’d been dropped into the set of a television costume drama, except that no one in Pride and Prejudice wore leathers and a crash helmet, and Gran still had her apron on.

Three times Gran and Grimlad26 raced round the estate on the Harley Davidson, while Beth leaned limply against the fence hoping against hope that the neighbours were watching their televisions. Grimlad, however, seemed perfectly happy, and afterwards, Gran, flushed and proud, invited him in. ‘You’ve driven miles today. Let me offer you some refreshment.’
Grimlad hooked his helmet over the knob at the bottom of the bannister and stripped off his leather jacket. He took the lemonade that Beth passed him.
‘Too hot for riding really,’ he said as he drained the last drop. ‘But if Gran would like one more spin…?’
‘Gran would not,’ said Gran. ‘Thanks, but I’d forgotten how uncomfortable it is to be astride a great horse of a machine. I must have been too entranced by Charles to mind!’ She paused. ‘I bought it to honour Charles’ memory, to finish the story, so to speak. I’m not sure what happens next.’
A stunned silence greeted this announcement. Beth’s heart sank. This was one step short of crazy. How was she going to explain a redundant Harley Davidson to her mother?

‘I’m getting old,’ said Gran sadly, as they sat down to their much delayed meal. ‘Not making decisions like I used to. Must be something wrong with me to get such ideas in my head.’ She toyed with her broccoli, wiping it through the tomato sauce before lifting it slowly to her mouth.
‘There’s nothing at all wrong with you, Gran! Nothing at all,’ Beth repeated firmly, knowing it now to be true. ‘That was the perfect thing to have done for Charles. And the perfect follow-up.’ 
Gran looked up. ‘You know something? He sounded so like Charles when he spoke of his love for the bike that I couldn’t refuse to let him buy it back. I’d have had to be heartless.’ 
Beth smiled. Her ears were still ringing gratefully from the sound of Grimlad26 roaring off, to the motorway and on to York. ‘It reminded me of when I was a kid at your house,’ she said to Gran, picking her words carefully, ‘when we did all sorts of things we never told my parents about. Our secret adventures, you called them.’ 
Gran looked up thoughtfully. ‘You’re right,’ she said, after a pause in which Beth held her breath. ‘Some things are much better if they’re kept quiet.’ 
Giving Beth a conspiratorial wink, she waded into her meal with relish. 
       

About the Author
Eleanor is a freelance writer, editor and proofreader. She has published three books for younger people and is currently studying illustration. You can commission her at www.eleanorpatrick.co.uk or read her blog at http://eleanorpatrick.wordpress.com or even follow her on Twitter @EleanorMPatrick She’d love to connect!



Published December 01 2015



Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Jolly Days of Steam



Jolly Days of Steam

Jim Sainsbury

AKA THE VIKING

Beer



Sudgedon filleted his kipper reverently placing the bones on the side of his plate with the care of a museum curator re-siting a priceless fossil. Sudgedon deftly sliced off a strip of kipper with a sharpened pocket-knife he used in preference to a blunt fish knife, considering the utensils to be an example of laziness on the part of manufacturers.
Rolling a strip of kipper into a roll with a two pronged fork, he also carried upon his person, he delicately popped the morsel in his mouth chomping steadily with the circular motions of a camel eating figs, I’d witnessed this fascinating inclination when visiting Whipsnade Zoo as a youth.
          Thomas had found Sudgedon’s meticulous preparations before eating so absorbing, he’d lowered his own cutlery to the side of his breakfast plate and sat watching like a man absorbed by a ‘What The Butler Saw’ attraction on Blackpool pier.
          But life is full of reverses and Sudgedon experienced one of his when his horse like molars chose to harass one side his tongue instead of his kipper. He stopped chewing instantaneously giving Thomas and I the impression he was about to burst into a comic song; but did something else entirely.
          He dropped his knife and fork and throwing both pudgy hands to his jaw, made a stifled noise like a lion having its pelvis removed without anaesthetic.
          Not wishing to let his eggs and bacon go cold, Thomas took up his culinary weaponry and was just about to peg away when Sudgedon opened one corner of his mouth saying something like, ‘Bik my bress-ed tong.’ His eyes in accordance with his suffering had enlarged and his moustache had sagged in the afflicted area only outdone by his shoulder rising a few inches as if pressing for a rehearsal of, the  ’Quasimodo,’ pantomime we were to present before our college broke up for Christmas.
          A waiter stealthily appeared, but thinking Sudgedon was in the middle of exhibiting how to mime, smiled pleasantly and slid off to clear plates from the next table.
          Slowly Sudgedon returned to normal, and tucking into what remained of his kipper, he said again, ‘Bit my blessed tongue, I did, and you two bally idiots just sat gazing at me like apes full up with bananas. Fat lot of help, you were,’
          Thomas said, ‘But you seemed to have everything under control, Sudgedon, old lad, what would everybody have thought if we prised your jaws open with a steak knife? Why, they would have called the police; what do you say, Snackerbridge?’
          I said, ‘I agree with Thomas, Sudgedon, you wouldn’t like people pointing at you afterwards thinking you were a ninny, would you? Apart from that, you had the rest of your kipper to finish, and I wouldn’t have parted you from that work of art for worlds.’
          Saying ,’Humph,’ Sudgedon polished off his kipper, and said no more about it.

          ‘Oh look, you can see Southend Pier from here, it has flags and bunting flying from it,’ said a small boy chewing upon a toffee apple. Everyone rushed to the starboard side of the ‘Marion; a paddle steamer on which we were journeying on a brief holiday from Brighton to Essex. As is the way of paddle steamers, if one paddle wheel is lifted from the water, the other digs deeper and swings the vessel around in a circle. And this is exactly what happened. The skipper, waving clenched fists at us from the bridge, pulled hard on the fog-horn lever and the crew rushed about urging the mass of trippers to resume their seats for the sake of equilibrium. Slowly the Marion righted herself, and was just making headway when the small boy pointing at Sudgedon, squealed, ‘He started it, if he hadn’t been mucking about at the breakfast table pulling faces we could have got on with our breakfast and I wouldn’t have seen Southend Pier and the ship wouldn’t have gone wonky.’
There was a brief silence before the boy’s words stirred the souls of troublemakers seeking to be troubled, and already finding the sea too choppy. They descended upon on Sudgedon like a rugby scrum.
‘Blinkin’ idiot,’ said one, and a particularly wizened lady dressed in black, said, ‘Where were you in 1914 when me Ernie got his manhood shot off fighting against the Kaiser? I bet you was living’ the life of Reilly weren’t you?’ To add emphasis to her vitriolic claim, she dotted Sudgedon on the head with her walking stick, which falling from her grasp, tripped up the waiter still clearing the breakfast tables. He fell awkwardly, forcing a crockery trolley into the path of old lady’s bath-chair that span around like an outraged horse and bolted to the exit door leading to the main deck. At a speed never envisaged for the comfort of the elderly, the old lady was catapulted into a deck-chair in which she went to sleep.
            The weather changed for the better giving the Marion every advantage to  reach Southend Pier on time. Passengers shook hands when disembarking and Sudgedon in what was seen as a forgiving gesture, repeatedly patted the small boy’s head with a fish-knife wrapped in The Times.


About the Author

Jim had four short stories and two articles published after completing a correspondence course in 2009. The pseudonym, The Viking came about after both little fingers curled into the palms. I was told the Vikings brought it over. He has now been published by Bridge House Publishing and is an active member of a writing group in Essex.


Published November 10 2015

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

100 Worder Vacation


100 Worder

Helen Laycock

Vacation

A strawberry milkshake with a dollop of ice-cream


Dorothy Anderson loved and feared the sea in equal measure. She whiled away long summer days in a striped chair, placed in the doorway of her candy-coloured beach hut.
            Today, her pleasure had been derived from watching a family, the parents relaxing in deckchairs, the little girl building and decorating sandcastles, and the boy digging.


The tide was rushing in as they left, and Dorothy was in a hurry to get her feet wet, just up to her ankles – her early evening ritual.

When the family returned the next day, the deep, deep hole had gone. And so had Dorothy.


About the Author

Helen Laycock is a regular contributor to CafeLit. She has written three short story collections, Light Bites, Peace and Disquiet and Minor Discord. More information is available on her website, Fiction in a Flash.
She is the author of several mystery/adventures for readers of 8–12, and has a website for children at: Helen Laycock | Children’s Author
Helen has had around thirty competition wins/shortlistings for both poetry and short stories, successes including Words with Jam, The Ryedale Book Festival, Writing Magazine, Writers’ News, Writers’ Forum, Flash500, Thynks Publications, Erewash Writers and various online contests.
She has also had work published in An Earthless Melting Pot, Vol. 2 (Quinn), the One Word Anthology by Talkback Writers (Alfie Dog Ltd), Songs of Angels (Thynks), the Aspiring Writers 2013 Winners Anthology (Blue Dragon Press), The Best of CafeLit 3 (Chapeltown) and A Quick Read (Aspen Press), with two more poems shortly to appear in a forthcoming anthology. She was recently featured in Issue 14 of Jotters Utd.



Monday, 3 August 2015

100 Worder Resignation


100 Worder

Sarah Bakewell

Resignation

Caramel Hot Chocolate


The truth of my words spiked the air around us. He stopped in his tracks, piercing me with his wicked blue eyes.
‘And that’s what you want?’ he muttered.
‘I…’ I stammered, taking a step back but only finding the cool wall. Looking up, he’d edged closer, towering over me, blocking the setting sun from the window opposite. I’d been honest once, another time wouldn’t hurt.
Or it might. But the time for considering consequences had passed long ago.
‘Yes.’
‘Fine.’ Another step closer, his dark words swirling in front of me. ‘I quit.’
And just like that, it happened.


About the author:


Published August 3 2015 

Thursday, 16 July 2015

The Elijah Project


The Elijah Project

Susan A. Eames

Coconut Water


When Elijah fell from the coconut tree his life changed forever.
            A kindly ex-pat called Chip heard about Elijah’s plight and organised a wheelchair donation. Now that Elijah could no longer harvest the coconuts for copra he needed some form of income, so Chip arranged a supply of trinkets for Elijah to sell to sympathetic tourists. But Elijah’s wife left him anyway.

Elijah lived in his wife’s village and her family exercised their right to reclaim the house. He now slept on the deck of his ex-marital home in his shiny wheelchair.
            When Chip and his charitable friends heard about Elijah’s situation they confronted the in-laws, demanding that they show Elijah compassion. Baffled by their interference, the in-laws turned away from the foreigners, unable to express the complexities of their culture: a culture which deemed their actions not only acceptable, but expected, by everyone including Elijah.

So Chip and Co. branded the in-laws as cruel and heartless. They built Elijah a house on the edge of the village and modestly congratulated themselves for solving Elijah’s problems.
            And they told people in their home countries about ‘The Elijah Project’ because people in the developed world should hear these heart-warming stories, shouldn’t they? Naturally, it wasn’t because they sought praise for being such wonderful, caring folk.

Meanwhile, Elijah sat in his shiny new wheelchair in his shiny new house with boxes of trinkets that no one wanted to buy, more outcast than ever before.




About The Author
Susan A. Eames left England over twenty-five years ago to explore the world and dive its oceans. She has had travel articles and short fiction published on three continents. After several fascinating years living in Fiji she has relocated to West Cork in Ireland. Susan blogs at: http://susan-a-eamestravelfictionandphotos.blogspot.ie

Published July 16 2015

Monday, 15 June 2015

The Vengeance of Augustus


The Vengeance of Augustus

The Viking

Prussic Acid
Or
A bowl of tepid milky tea to slop on the kitchen floor




 Photo taken on Canvey Island by Peter Goldsworthy
 Dog in Sea (or is it a lion?)

Used as a writing prompt by Canvey Writers

I am poking around in the waning afternoon tide of the Thames Estuary searching for a cricket ball my owner, Archie, wants me to retrieve so he can throw it back in again; and they call dogs mutts?
            I am a chocolate coloured Labrador with the pedigree classification of Augustus the Divine a tribute hugely contested by Archie’s wife Agnes every time I pee on her petunias.
            She says I smell.
            ‘That dog has the stench of a hippopotamus decomposing in an African mud wallow,’ she once said after much deliberation.
            Bloody cheek, she smells like a kitchen aerosol spray. After tying me up outside Boots the Chemists, one day, she checked out trial offers on the perfume counter by spraying the stuff on my back’ saying, ‘Oh I do like that one, Gus,’ or, ‘What do you think of this one Gus?’
            To my horror, Sam, an Alsatian acquaintance of mine was witnessing the incident and instead of wanting to fight afterwards; contented himself with derisive barks.  
            Agnes also alleges I’m flatulent and sprays the air above my basket with Pound Shop disinfectant when I’m trying to take a nap. Occasionally she switches her fumigation hunger onto golfing socks Archie stuffs in his golf bag under the stairs.
            But she has a lighter side. At times of warmth and charity, she endears herself to her husband by saying things like, ‘You always smell of something, dear; aren’t you a one? Have you ever considered donating your mortal remains to the Department of Agriculture? Just imagine how proud you would be when you look down upon bumper crops of radishes bearing your DNA.’
            ‘You’re getting to sound like my old sergeant major,’ Archie replied to her accusation he was rubbish at cleaning his walking boots. Edging closer, she angled her head this way and that like a carrion crow watching as he hacked mud from the boots with a fish slice onto the newspaper strewn kitchen floor.
            After the final sweep of his hewing arm, she imperiously said, ’Now chuck the blessed things into the backyard to let enzymes get to them and they’ll smell sweeter than a brace of steam cleaned bedpans in the morning.’
            She had been a history teacher in her prime so I’d heard, but she seems to be well up on enzymes as well, preferring to hang Archie’s underpants on the outside rotary clothes line rather than include them in the weekly wash.
            Light is fading fast now, and consulting his wristwatch, Archie said grumpily,’ You’ll never see that ball in this light; why don’t we call it a day?’
            You will have noticed at this stage I no longer command the name of Gus, and his next statement did nothing to redress the issue.
            ‘That damned ball will be bumping along the bottom of the North Sea halfway to Amsterdam by now; they must be stacking the bloody things up like Edam cheeses over there.’
            As the tide ebbed, mud found its way onto my coat perhaps because I’d rolled in it as a treat for Agnes when we got home.
            The finicky back door was having a bad day and refused to open, so as we squelched through the front door, Agnes, not prepared for this subtle alternative showed more umbrage than humour and made personal remarks as Archie led me over her daffodil yellow hall carpet on the way to the bathroom for ritual cleansing.
            I do so love these providential moments of release when I can justifiably shake my moulting coat in the bathroom listening to Archie taking the rap afterwards for the unauthorized hirsute change of dĂ©cor on the walls.


About the Author:

James Sainsbury began writing seriously after completing a correspondence course after which two articles and four short stories were published. Upon retirement, he noticed both little fingers were curling into their palms and was told he had Dupuytren's Contracture; a disease brought over by the Vikings, hence his chosen pseudonym-The Viking- all five feet inches of him; not your average berserker.


Published June 15 2015

Friday, 5 June 2015

Dialling 999



Dialling 999
Vicky Jacobson
Black Coffee

Generally, if things go wrong, my first reaction is to panic – okay, you might not see me running round flapping my arms like the proverbial headless chicken, but believe me, that’s what’s going on inside and that’s what was happening last night when I had to call 999.
I couldn’t find my phone, I couldn’t find my phone – my hands were shaking as I searched my bag but – no, I really couldn’t find my phone. I scrabbled frantically through dozens of old receipts and shopping lists, checked all the pockets, one after another but no sign of it. I prayed that I’d not forgotten it again and tried to calm myself but the panic was rising. I tried once more: I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, held it and concentrated on counting to ten as I slowly let it out. I opened my eyes and started looking again and there it was – in the first bloody place I’d looked. I focused all my attention on hitting the number nine three times and finally, with relief, I heard a calm voice on the other end asking me what service I required. 
 ‘Um, um, ambulance, no police – um, ambulance and police,’ I managed to blurt, ‘there’s a man, he’s unconscious… he might be dead… oh god, there’s blood everywhere.’
The operator asked me where I was and I gave her the town and tried to explain my location – I wasn’t exactly sure of an address but I told her it was off the footpath leading from Garrison Road. ‘About half-way along there’s a gap in the hedge and he’s through there, down in the field.’ I was sobbing by this time and she spoke soothingly and said somebody would be with me shortly. 
Although the path is well-known to locals, it isn’t very well lit and runs through an area bounded by fields on one side and waste ground on the other so normally, I wouldn’t use it after dark. As usual though, I was running late so the few minutes I knew it would save, swayed me. 
I remembered seeing a man coming towards me and as he neared he’d asked for a light and I shook my head and said I didn’t smoke. The next thing I knew I was sprawling on the ground down the bank and the man was coming after me. It all got very hazy after that but I recalled a struggle and felt several blows then I had hold of a rock and was swinging it with all the strength I could muster. I can still hear the crunch as the rock made contact with something hard but then it all faded away. The next thing I knew the man was lying still on the ground and I must have gotten to my feet because I was standing up and looking down at him and I knew I needed to get help.         
I could still hear the operator speaking but it appeared that she was no longer able to hear me and then the phone went dead in my hand. By that point though I could hear sirens approaching so I tried to make my way back up to the path. A few minutes later I heard the sound of vehicles screeching to a halt and car doors slamming. I saw several figures running towards me holding torches but I was a little bewildered when they totally ignored me and hurried into the field. 
I followed them to the gap in the hedge and watched as one of the policemen knelt down and checked the bloke’s vital signs. ‘It’s too late for this one,’ he said, ‘we’ll need to secure the area and get the forensics boys out here.’ He stood up and shone his torch around the field stopping at a low heap further off. ‘What’s that?’ he asked and one of the other policemen walked over to where the torch beam was directed. 
‘Sir, it’s a woman and she’s in a bad way,’ he said, bending down to look at her, then more urgently, ‘she’s still alive Guv but only just – we need to get the paramedics here pronto.’
A chill ran through me and I slipped back into the shadows beneath the bushes. I couldn’t understand what they were saying, there’d only been me and that bloke – where had this other woman come from?        
Two guys rushed through the gap and I saw them load the woman onto a stretcher with swift, practised movements. I tried to press back into the hedge to avoid being seen but as they passed me the woman’s hand slipped from under the blanket and brushed against my leg.  A glint on her wrist resolved itself into a watch that looked very familiar. 
A thought, dismissed before it was fully formed, flitted across my mind as I lifted my hand to look at the watch I was wearing.
It was…no, it had to be a coincidence, she was just wearing a watch like mine; but there was the scratch on the glass where I’d caught it on a wall while rushing to get washing in from the rain and there was the tiny splodge of white paint on the strap I’d never gotten round to cleaning off. It wasn’t just like mine; it was mine.
In disbelief, I fumbled to look at my own wrist again and, as I did, the truth finally slammed into me. I felt a huge jolt as I was pulled back into my body and then, for a brief moment, I was aware of being carried on the stretcher before everything went black.
I woke up the next day in hospital. The police were waiting to speak to me and I learned that I’d been attacked but evidence showed that I’d fought back desperately. My attacker had suffered a head injury during the tussle and had died and the doctor said that I’d probably be dead too if it hadn’t been for the mystery woman who’d used my mobile to summon help. They said that she’d disappeared before the police arrived but they obviously needed to interview her and thought an appeal in the local paper might urge her to come forward. I knew that was very unlikely but thought I should probably keep that to myself.    
I can’t explain what happened last night but I do know that I’ll be sticking to roads with street lights in future.
Yesterday I phoned 999 for the first time. I want it to be the last.


About the Author

Vicky is a retired legal secretary with two grown-up children. She has always had a desire to write but only really got started when she joined Canvey Writers earlier this year. This story was a response to a writing prompt from the group.