Showing posts with label Stephanie Simpkin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stephanie Simpkin. Show all posts

Thursday, 4 February 2021

The Golden Family

 

by Stephanie Simpkin

Golden Dream (1oz. Vodka, ½ oz Liquore Galliano, serve in a rocks glass over ice)

 

 I stood on the bluff looking down at the raging sea far below. The huge waves crashing against the rocks. I am now sixty-three, a very successful man. The last time I stood here was the summer of 1945, the war just over. I was thirteen, shy, awkward, and naïve. My horrible puce pimpled face, would take on a strange beetroot hue if anyone spoke to me.

 

My friend Julian, the same age as me, was handsome confident clever and, clear skinned. The complete opposite to me. I couldn’t believe he was my best friend my only friend. I looked up to him, was dazzled by him, he was well liked and popular.

 

We were boarders at the same school in Suffolk. I was a scholarship boy, looked down upon for my working class background.

 

Julian, took me under his wing for which I would be eternally grateful. The school was like a prison, a very expensive prison. Cold baths, cold disgusting food, cold dorms, cold sadistic masters. The only light in my life beside Julian, was matron. A plump kindly woman who seemed to like me, or at least felt sorry for me, both my parents killed in an air raid. My only living relative an elderly uncle who was my guardian.

 

The summer holidays! Julian invited me up to his family home in Norfolk. A chauffeur driven Lagonda arrived at the school. I was excited, apprehensive, scared. His father was a Lord, they had a huge estate, thousands of acres complete with lakes, swimming pools, and tennis courts. 

 

We arrived at huge wrought iron gates, which miraculously swung open, a man doffed his cap, as we swished through. A mile long, tree-lined gravel drive, and then I saw it. The most splendid house I had ever seen. Branston Hall!

 

The car stopped, six staff were lined up outside. Julian bounded out of the car to be embraced by all the servants, and then, the most beatiful girl I had ever seen. Long blonde hair, a rosebud mouth, a sprinkling of freckles, bright cornflower blue eyes.

 

She smiled at me, I was mesmerised, struck dumb, I felt my face flush. I just nodded like an imbecile. This is my sister Emily, said Julian proudly. We were quickly joined by a very handsome couple, his parents, Lord and Lady Hinchcliff. I thought them a golden family.

 

The best six weeks of my life! We swam, played tennis, croquet, I learnt to ride, we fished,  had a wonderful time. The food was amazing; rationing was in, but the estate had plenty. Eggs, butter cheese, bacon, game that we shot. Fresh vegetables fruit. I felt this must be heaven, and how lucky the family were.

 

Emily, who was fourteen, often joined us in our pursuits.  I loved her. She barely noticed me. One day she told me that her older brother had been killed in the war at just eighteen, an older sister had died of whooping cough. That meant Julian was the heir to all of this splendour, that had been in the family for generations.

 

I was slightly envious of him, I craved a family, I tried not think of my loss. I viewed him as the brother I never had.

 

Julian told me he had a thing, with one of the village girls, he would disappear for hours at a time. I didn’t care. I had Emily’s company to myself.

 

The long summer days went on, I had found paradise.

 

A few days before we were due back at school, something happened that would change  all our lives for ever. 

 

I came down to breakfast, to hear shouting.  Julian ran out of the room crying.  I tried speaking to him. He brushed me aside and fled out of the house.

 

Lady Hinchcliff, sobbing,  strode out, quickly followed by Lord Hinchcliff ashen-faced and angry. I went in, Emily was sitting at the table weeping softly. What has happened? I asked, I sat down, eventually she stopped weeping.

 

Julian had been accused of getting one of the village girls pregnant, which he denied. He was being sent abroad in disgrace, to finish his schooling. He had bought shame on the family’s good name.

 

The car collected me to take me to the station. I was given money for my train fare and quickly said my goodbyes. Julian’s father couldn’t meet my gaze, and his mother smiled weakly, Emily said, she was so very sorry.

 

            I took the blame! They all allowed me to, me who had never kissed a girl, but Julian was my friend, my best friend.

 

I arrived back at school. Matron was there to meet me. She took me in her arms, her ample bosoms smothering me. She sat me down in the warm kitchen and made me hot chocolate.      

 

Matron explained to me, I was being expelled for tainting the good name of the school. She asked me if I understood, had anything to say? No! I said. Very well! She stood up, I’ve a good mind, to telephone Julian’s family.

 

No! You can’t! Please. He is my best friend!

 

Some friend, she said. Just because he he's rich, ‘The Right Honourable’ hmm!  He should be made to accept responsibility.   

 

I am sorry, gather your possessions,. The headmaster will drive you to the station. I know, you have done nothing wrong, sometimes life’s not fair! Goodbye and good luck!

 

I was sent to a ghastly  school, worst then the last one. No Julian, no matron! I was bullied mercilessly, thrashing a weekly occurrence. They were all beastly to me. The food! I doubted pigs would have eaten this disgusting swill. The prefects would run the huge baths the night before. In winter, the first one in, would have to break the ice. Usually me, never a kind word, no displays of emotion, I began to envy Oliver Twist. I was lonely, friendless and wretched. I maintained my very stiff upper lip, kept my head down and studied avidly. 

 

I did rather well in my exams and went up to Oxford where I gained a first. My skin now smooth, the ladies told me I was quite good looking. There were quite a few!           .

 

By now I had a very successful business which had recently gone public. I had received a Knighthood for my outstanding contributions to industry. I had made a fortune and become a very wealthy man.

 

One day out of the blue, a letter arrived from Julian, who had become an MP for Norfolk South; I sat down to read the letter.

      

‘Dear Robert, these past few years have been very difficult for me. Both my parents are dead. I blame myself.  The scandal and disgrace killed them. I am awaiting trial for fraud, my wife has left me, my friends have vanished. I hope this letter finds you well, my sister Emily sends her best. I am so very sorry our friendship ended as it did, I can only hope you will forgive me.

Best wishes Julian.’

 

I crumpled the letter into a ball, I felt denigrated, vilified and furious! All these years I had suppressed my memories to survive. And now, fifty years later I felt free.

 

I bore no ill will towards him now; because of him I had become successful. I had never married, never let anyone close to me again. Everyone I had ever loved taken from me. Trust issues, they would say nowadays.

 

Julian was now serving a ten year sentence in Pentonville, for fraud bribery and corruption, and lying under oath.  He was a peer of the realm and as such, should have known better. His reputation in tatters, his life ruined.

 

I found out from Emily that the village girl’s family, had been paid off and  Julian’s son   adopted.  So very sad.

 

I realised at that moment, six weeks out of a lifetime is a mere moment in time! We had just been children ourselves.

 

So much for the golden family!

 

I turned from the bluff, and drove the few miles to Branston Hall. The same huge gates, (electric now) the same mile long drive. I almost expected to see Lord and Lady Hinchcliff, Julian, and Emily standing there.

 

But now, the staff greeted me, the new owner.

 

 

Wednesday, 27 January 2021

Three People in a Boat

 

by Stephanie Simpkin

a very cold tinny of ‘Fosters’

 

Suzy and I had been friends since childhood, both in our early thirties. I lived on a farm with my husband.  Suzy was a renowned architect. I saw an advert in a yachting magazine:

"Crew wanted to deliver a small sailing yacht from Sydney to Cockatoo Island. Must be experienced sailors and have relevant documents"

 My husband told me to go for it, the money was brilliant, and I deserved a break. And so, I went for it.

 Suzy and I arrived in Sydney to meet the third crew member, Bruce a bronzed Aussie hunk. We found out very quickly he was an idiot, a lazy idiot, in his late twenties. First, he chatted up Suzy then me.

 ‘You two lesbians?’

 ‘No, I am married.’

 ‘To a man?’ asked the fool.

 ‘What do you do Bruce?’   

‘I am a Disc jockey, it’s great for pulling the Shelia’s!’

 ‘Bruce, you ever been married, had  a long term girlfriend?’    

 ‘Yea once! She left me, I was bothered then; she came back I was really bothered! The perfect girlfriend, stays up all night having sex, then turns into a peperoni pizza! 

             ‘You can do the cooking, you the cleaning!’ said the sexist moron.

 ‘Why’? We asked incredulously?

 ‘Because, you’re girlies, I am a fella, so I am the leader!’

 Is this why Pankhurst, Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Germaine Greer and all the many others, fought so hard for equality? For this chauvinistic idiot?

 We explained democracy to him, very, very simply, and very slowly.

 ‘By the people for the people. The opposite to tyranny and dictatorship.’

 ‘What, you mean we have to vote?’  

 ‘No,' said Suzy, 'there’s two of us’!

 I awoke with a start. We were in a dingy on a beautiful sandy beach, surrounded by palm trees, the turquoise water lapping gently. Suddenly I remembered. The idiot had shouted 'FIRE! Quick get into the life raft,' so we had. He lost one oar then the other.

 We drifted for hours. Luckily the water was calm, and now we were here. We did a recce, the island was about ten miles by eight-ish, uninhabited by humans, but we saw chickens, small wild pigs, and most importantly a small waterfall with clear crystal water.

 Suzy and I stripped to our underwear for a swim.

 ‘Great tits,' the moron dribbled, ‘and a great arse Suzy.’

 We decided the beach we had arrived at was the best place to make camp.

 The idiot said ‘Shame we had no tents.' Hhe would be Tarzan and build a shelter for the  girlies.   

 Suzy told him she was an architect and she would do that.

 ‘I will get our food!’  What was that noise, oh yea, Tarzan beating his chest

 ‘Have you ever killed an animal, butchered and cooked it, caught a fish gutted it?’ I asked.

 ‘No!’ He shrieked, I am a vegetarian.

 Wish you luck with that, a coconut, some nice green leaves, and mouldy yams. ‘You, can be in charge of collecting firewood, starting a fire and keeping it going and, make sure we have fresh water ok?’

 ‘Any one got a lighter?’ The moron asked.

 ‘Perhaps you could be the DJ like Desert Island discs, what book do you fancy, War and Peace, Playboy? Your luxury item would be?’

 ‘I don’t have a record player or a deck do I? Any loo rolls?’

 ‘Yea! Ten rolls, I managed to grab them, when you, shouted fire!’

 ‘You being sarky?’

 Two days later we had our sturdy shelter and  I had killed a pig cooked it on the fire. It smelt great. The VEGETARIAN asked for seconds, and any barbie sauce? ‘I’d kill for a cold tinny of Fosters.’

 ‘Perhaps you could kill a chicken?’

 ‘EH! No,’

 Was he really this thick, or was he joking?

             ‘Wanna hear an Aussie joke, what do I want to  see hanging from my Sheila’s ears?’

 ‘Corks?’ I asked.

 ‘No their legs.’ Said thicko.

 Suzy said she found him vaguely amusing in Neanderthal kind of way.

 ‘Really!’ I said.

 ‘Yeah, some of the men I’ve dated recently!’

 Thicko screamed, he had been fishing, we ran. Perhaps a shark, a jelly fish sting. No… in the fishing net he had dozens of tins. Condensed milk, potatoes, corn beef, pineapple, baked beans, some tins with no labels. He was so excited. “We can have corn beef hash, beans anyone got a tin opener”?

 After he almost severed two fingers with a rusty bit of metal, smashed three fingers with a rock, he gave up and did what he did best, fuck all, worked on his tan, slept for hours.

 ‘I am going to kill him. I mean it Suzy, if we are not rescued by tomorrow, he’s dead! He tells sexist jokes not funny, he’s lazy and rude, and I had to collect the water, and relight the fire today’.

 ‘Calm down! I have a plan!’

 ‘Tell me, please. We have been here a whole week. Why is no one looking for us, surely?Jake will be missing me, the yacht owner, someone!’

 ‘Tomorrow! Dawn! Bring a large plastic bottle filled with water.”

 Sun up, Bruce was fast asleep, what a surprise! Suzy beckoned me over. “Ready?”

 Suzy had repaired the dingy made some oars, she thought it would be seaworthy. ‘Are you ready to take a chance. The bad news is, it will only take two not three.’

 ‘That’s bad news?’

 We set off, suddenly. Bruce saw us. ‘Wait for me!’ he shouted hysterically.

 We didn’t! ‘We'll send someone to rescue you.’

             “What about democracy”? he whined.

 After an hour rowing we were knackered. Suddenly we saw a cargo ship in the distance it got closer it saw us! Rescue.

 They rang the coastguards. They picked us up. “What happened to the yacht?’ we asked.

 ‘What do you mean? When we found it was just like the Mari Celeste. We thought maybe pirates had kidnapped you.’

 ‘What about the fire?’

 ‘Fire? We found a blown up toaster and some very burnt toast, but no fire. The missing person report said three crew. Anyone else with you?’    

 ‘No!’

About the author 

Stephanie left school at 15 with no qualifications. Dyslexia was diagnosed in her late 20’s.
On retirement she joined a creative writing class, and hasn’t looked back.

Friday, 19 April 2019

Vanity



by Stephanie Simpkin

a half-drunk mug of cold tea


Last night I had a dream, so vivid, so real.

My wife Maureen, we met, when we were both, seventeen, a lifetime ago!

I, an apprentice engineer, she a typist, first serious relationship, for both, of us.

The usual story, in those days, pregnant! We married, much to our parents dismay. A whole life in front of you, they, had all said.

A son Peter, soon, followed by our daughter, a year later. How old would they be now, let’s think, Peter, forty-seven, Caroline forty-six.

I wonder if they have children, if I have grandchildren?

I was stupid, foolish, unfair, unfaithful, the women, so many of them. I told Maureen I would never leave her.

We had a beautiful house, swimming pool, tennis courts. Both the children at private schools, then university. Wonderful family holidays, I played golf with my many friends. Why, was it not enough, why?

Why, I met Suzy. The ONE. Stunning, beautiful, young,  a famous model. Cold she was, so cold. She always got, what she wanted. I gave her everything,  anything. Spoilt, selfish, I didn’t know  that, at the time. Love, love at first sight, me, not her, blinded by love, addicted to love.

Funny, when we first met, Brian Ferry preforming live, the cabaret.

I saw her, was drawn to her, an irresistible force, a magnet, I had to have her, fate, destiny.

We were celebrating. I had been  invited to the palace, in June. Sir Edward,  had a nice ring to it.

By now, I was a very, very, successful, wealthy man. I had just made it into the Sunday Times rich list.

A lowly apprentice, from Grimsby. I can still  remember, the fishy smell. Our first flat, above a newsagents, we were happy, so happy!

Now, I mix with royalty, captains of industry, film stars, donate huge amounts to charity.

I asked my oldest friend, (we had been at primary school together, he’d done rather well too), to introduce us, he knew her.

Don’t do it Andrew, he had said, she’s bad news, don’t, be an old fool!

Old, a fool, me?

My friend brought her over. Up close, wow! She took my breath away, her eyes, bright emerald green!

I ignored Maureen, all evening. I couldn’t help myself. I was hooked,  smitten, mesmerised. Eventually Maureen  left. I didn’t notice, I, didn’t care.

I went home three days later, not ashamed, no phone call, no apology, I, was so happy! Ecstatic!

My bags where packed, on the front lawn. Maureen had the locks changed. She wanted a divorce. I had humiliated her, over the years, but now, all over the papers, front page news.

All my friends told me, I was mad, vain, stupid, she only wanted  my money. She was thirty years younger than me.

No one liked her, the women, were probably jealous, all the men wanted her, she, chose me.

I gave Maureen the house, the cars; I paid her a very fair settlement. She would be a very wealthy woman. At first, I saw the children every, weekend.

She stopped me seeing the children. Stopped, me, talking to Maureen, stopped me playing golf.

I know I was weak, foolish. I couldn’t help myself. I loved her, pure love, the sex, she was wild.

After a month, she had the first of many affairs. She said the men meant nothing to her.

She’d crook her little finger and I would go, run! She said, if I married her,  she would be faithful.

We married, immediately, the wedding of the year!

I gave her everything. Diamonds,  emeralds, especially, emeralds. Expensive cars, whatever, she wanted. She was mine, my wife, I was so, lucky.

My solicitor advised a pre-nup.  I would not listen,. It was ME, she wanted, not, my, money. She promised to love me for ever, the age gap, no problem.

By now, we were Sir Andrew and Lady Frost. She told me, no children, it would ruin her body, what, a body. People misunderstood her, why, did no one like her?
 
We had homes, in the south of France. A huge house in Barbados, where we spent winters. A penthouse in London. A super yacht, I named after her. A private plane. Everything, a women could possible want, never enough, never.

I tried contacting my kids, now both married. I wasn’t invited to the weddings. I was informed, I wasn’t wanted.

They would not speak to me. I sent Christmas, birthday presents, returned, unopened, no contact.

I tried asking  Maureen for help, pleaded, begged, nothing!

By now, all my old, friends, had deserted me. Our new friends, hers really. Parties
late nights, she was a brilliant cook;  she never cooked!

The drugs, they all did drugs, she said. She would stop, if, I changed my will.

I left everything to her. She was perfect, is perfect, absolutely perfect.

She said she loved me, she would be with  me, forever, in sickness, and health.

Oh! I hear her voice, she’s here, can’t wait, to kiss her sweet lips, see her, my love, my life.

“Good morning, Lady Frost!”

Who’s that, not one, of her men  friends, no!

I can smell her perfume, I am so, excited.

That beeping, that constant beeping, I can’t hear, what they are saying, turn the beeping off.

 “Lady Frost, I need a decision, please. Any family, children, grandchildren, friends?”

“No one! Switch, the machine off!”