An Unexpected Alliance by Allison Symes, raspberry tea

Shelley moved into No. 38 Shore Street, ignoring all those who warned her the place was unlucky, deserved to be demolished, oh and incidentally had a ghost. Even the estate agent hurried away from the place after giving her the keys.

Shelley didn’t care. She didn’t believe in bad luck. The detached house was small but would easily meet her needs. She was less sure about ghosts but thought if there was one hanging about, the “unlucky” bit had to apply to the spectre rather than her. After all, surely the poor spirit would rather be resting in peace. She knew she would.

Moving in went well though Shelley noted the removals people also couldn’t wait to get out. Still that suited her. It was time to relax and just be. She’d been through enough. Now she could begin a new life. Given what she’d left, ghosts were the least of her concern.

Shelley had just finished her second cup of tea and her fourth chocolate digestive when the spectre appeared in front of her. Shelley gave the ghost a cheery wave. ‘Am not scared of you.’

‘You wouldn’t be. I don’t know what you are but you’re not human. Why are you here?’

‘I got fed up with the power abuses on my home planet.’

‘And you came here?’

Shelley smiled. ‘Would you want to face a world which habitually misuses magic to oppress people? The same world which has caused obliteration on other worlds?’

The ghost grimaced. ‘So you left and…’

‘Officially I am a disappearance. They all think Earth is backwards because of humanity’s tendency to wage wars. They have no sense of irony given the wars they’ve been responsible for. They will assume I wouldn’t want anything to do with a backwards species. That suits me fine.’

The ghost studied Shelley. ‘You will suit me fine too.’

‘How so?’

‘Every so often this house is threatened with demolition because I live here. Maybe now I will get to reside in peace here. Yes, I think we could help each other, but is there any chance of your people, for want of a better word, coming here after you?’

Shelley shrugged. ‘I don’t think so. Nobody is supposed to leave our world, see? We’re all supposed to be a happy lot, content to live on such a wonderful world. I do have a sense of irony! So my vanishing is embarrassing. I suspect the cover up has already begun back at home. They are better off pretending my disappearance hasn’t happened and it will be forgotten I ever existed.’

‘You can’t know that for sure.’

‘True, but it’s a logical assessment. I know when there was even a hint of a scandal before, a fairy godmother defected to another magical world, her name was made mud and then erased. I suspect that will happen with me. I understand from what I’ve studied of humanity ghosts like you hang around where there is unfinished business?’

The ghost nodded. ‘Yes. I too was a disappearance. The man I thought loved me killed me and left my body under the floorboards here. He ran off with another woman. They died in a car crash about a fortnight later. Witnesses thought the driver was spooked, car veered off, and went into a barrier at speed.’

‘Was the car spooked?’

‘Yes.’

‘By you?’

‘Yes. I wanted justice, see. Oh if he didn’t want me any more I could’ve lived with that. Literally. He didn’t have to kill me.’

‘Does his ghost turn up?’

‘Only the once. He came here. Took one look at me and fled. I don’t know what afterlife he’s gone to but let’s just say I hope it’s nice and hot for him.’

Shelley smiled. ‘We understand each other. To our future then.’

And she raised her empty cup in salute.

 

About the author

 

Allison Symes, who loves quirky fiction, is published by Chapeltown Books, CafeLit, and Bridge House Publishing. She writes for Chandler’s Ford Today and Writers’ Narrative. 

Website: https://allisonsymescollectedworks.com/ 

Books: http://author.to/AllisonSymesAuthorCent 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@allisonsymes 

Her flash fiction collections are From Light to Dark and Back Again and Tripping The Flash Fantastic. Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Smashing Sally

 

by Allison Symes

raspberry tea

 

 Smash! Sally stopped cleaning Mr Harry’s table to see Ethel Price look at a broken plate with chocolate cake scattered everywhere. 

Oh dear, Sally thought. Ethel’s Weetabix flew at warp speed earlier.

‘We all get off days, Ethel!’ Sally called. ‘I’ll clear it and fetch more cake.’

‘You won’t,’ the harsh voice came from the doorway.

Sally sighed. The new boss, Mrs Hathaway, had a gift for arriving at the most awkward moment.

‘Mrs Price needs more cake, Mrs Hathaway.’

‘I know that. Just clean. It’s what we pay you for. The nurses, the professionals, are the ones to be nice to the clients.’

Sally looked at Ethel. It stopped her swearing.

Ethel stared at Mrs Hathaway.

Sally started cleaning. She had to turn her back on the old dragon to do it.

‘You shouldn’t take that rudeness, Sally,’ Ethel said.

‘I am a contract cleaner, Ethel. I can’t afford to upset Mrs Hathaway, as she knows. Are you okay?’

‘Yes, just fed up I drop things. Mrs Hathaway is bringing my cake. The nurses must be busy.’

‘They always are,’ Sally moved though she had to fight the temptation to drop Mrs Hathaway a  curtsey as the latter put Ethel’s cake down, scowled at Sally, and stomped off. ‘Someone got out of the bed the wrong side this morning. It wasn’t us, was it, Ethel?’

Ethel giggled.

Sally smiled and resumed cleaning Mr Harry’s table.

It was a relief to reach six p.m. Today set a new record for spillages cleared.

Sally was donning her coat when Mrs Hathaway appeared.

Like the fairytale witch, Sally thought, trying not to laugh.

‘You’re not going home. I need my office spotless. The government inspection is tomorrow. There’s no overtime.’

‘I must get home to my little boy, Mrs Hathaway. My husband starts work in an hour. He can’t be late. I can’t be late.’

‘Your domestic arrangements are irrelevant. Clean or consider yourself fired.’

Sally took her coat off. ‘Can I make a call, Mrs Hathaway? I should warn my husband I’ll be late.’

‘If you weren’t gossiping with Mrs Price, you’d have more time, wouldn’t you?’

Sally sighed. ‘I’ll text him. Will I disturb you while I’m cleaning?’

‘No. I’ll be watching from the door. Get on with it.’

The one plus was the office wasn’t dirty.

Maybe dirt is too scared of Mrs Hathaway to be in the same room, Sally thought.

Papers needed stacking and some dusting was required, though Sally dusted everything.

The only comment was a grunt as Sally left forty minutes late.

Maybe the inspection is making the boss ratty, but why is she always like that, Sally thought. Tomorrow won’t be fun. Bob’s right. I should find somewhere else. The old dears are lovely but I can’t face working with her always. Everyone needs cleaners.

 

 Sally entered the Peaceful Rose Care Home to find Mrs Hathaway looking at her watch.

‘Morning, Mrs Hathaway. I’m not late.’

‘My watch states you’re thirty seconds late. You lose an hour’s pay.’

‘But…’

‘No buts and if you want to earn any money, get to it. Ethel Price has been clumsy again.’

‘The poor soul can’t help it. She’s had a stroke.’

‘Just clean. The inspector arrives at midday.’

Sally preferred working alone but Mrs Hathaway shadowed her and gave a running commentary of how she’d do things better.

Every resident gave Sally sympathetic smiles, even Mr Harry, who usually slept in his chair, woke for food and drink, and slept again.

It was a relief when the inspector arrived. The woman looked nice. Not that it made much difference to Sally given Ethel Price spilled soup on the carpet in front of the inspector. Sally didn’t look at Mrs Hathaway though she braced herself for the sniping.

Once the inspector left, Mrs Hathaway delivered.

‘Get out. You’re fired.’

Sally reddened, embarrassed the dragon bawled her out in front of the residents. Sally heard crying but didn’t dare look at Ethel Price.

Sally walked out with as much dignity as she could manage. At least she wouldn’t see the dragon again and the world always needed cleaners. But the job search could wait till Monday.

 

 The phone hadn’t stopped ringing or so it seemed to Sally all week. Given she had four interviews lined up, others could wait. The persistent beggars could leave a message on the answerphone.

‘I’m sorry, Ethel,’ Mrs Hathaway said, ‘but I cannot get through. Sally hasn’t answered her phone all week.’

‘If she has a gadget saying who is calling and she spotted you, I don’t blame her. You were rude.’

‘I know, I’m sorry. I’ll keep trying. I know we need Sally back. The others work hard but something about Sally brought out their best. Even the inspector noted our cheerful cleaning team as an asset.’

Ethel snorted. ‘It makes a change for the government to be more on the ball than someone like you. You’d better get back to your phone. I will try not to drop my cake this time, but I’ve not been the same since my stroke. Sally, who was “just a cleaner”, knew that.’

Ethel smiled as Mrs Hathaway reddened.

 

‘Morning, Ethel, how are you? Good to see you!’

A beaming Ethel knocked her tumbler on the floor. ‘Business as normal, Sally?’

Sally looked at the spilled squash and grinned. ‘Isn’t it just? Now give me a mo and I’ll soon clear that.’

Sally didn’t look at Mrs Hathaway as she cleared up. Gloating wasn’t ladylike. Besides, Sally could savour that at home over a glass of something lovely with her hubby. Though remembering the call Sally finally answered would give her a warm glow for months…

‘Sally, please come back, we miss you.’

‘Even you, Mrs Hathaway?’

‘Yes, I was wrong…’

Sally thought those were the sweetest words she’d ever hear but now Ethel Price needed another drink and the mess would not clear itself. The world always needs cleaners.

 

About the author

 Allison Symes, who loves quirky fiction, is published by Chapeltown Books, CafeLit, and Bridge House Publishing. 

Website: https://allisonsymescollectedworks.com/

Books: http://author.to/AllisonSymesAuthorCent.

Her latest flash fiction collection, Tripping The Flash Fantastic, is out in Kindle and paperback.

Her Youtube channel, with book trailers and story videos, is at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPCiePD4p_vWp4bz2d80SJA/

Rotten Day

by Allison Symes

raspberry tea

The fairy godmother trashed her wand. It was the only thing to do.

It had been a bloody rotten day. None of her spells had worked properly. She’d only just stopped the cars in the village crashing when one of her charms had sped each of these new-fangled contraptions towards the nearest walls for reasons unknown to her.

She’d carried out the standard checks on her wand. No faults showing. Nor could she detect a curse on her (though she wouldn’t have been surprised if the car drivers had cursed her in that way humans had of thinking bad language would somehow make things better. They certainly had no impact on her).

The fairy godmother sighed and retrieved her wand. There was nothing for it.
If there was nothing wrong with the wand, she would have to take herself in for an MOT then!

About the author 

Allison Symes, who loves reading and writing quirky fiction, is published by Chapeltown Books, Cafelit, and Bridge House Publishing.  She is a member of the Society of Authors and Association of Christian Writers.  Her website is at https://allisonsymescollectedworks.com/
She blogs for Chandler’s Ford Today often on topics of interest to writers - http://chandlersfordtoday.co.uk/author/allison-symes/
Find Alison on Amazon here.

Fear of Snakes

by Jim Bates

raspberry tea

We'd been dating for a about a month when Lorrie got a bull snake as a pet and brought it over to my apartment. "Here," she said, pushing the writhing reptile toward me. "Her name is Julie. Want to hold her?"

            No. Not on your life.

            But, I liked Lorrie a lot and wanted to make a good impression so I attempted to work up some enthusiasm, "Sure!"

            Bad idea. Julie was heavy and cold and thick and she curled around my arm, stuck out her tongue and maybe some more stuff I'll never know because I fainted. I came to on the floor with a warm blanket tucked around me and a soft pillow placed under my head. Lorrie and Julie were both gone.

            I stood on shaky legs and called Lorrie right away. "Please come back. You can even bring Julie."

            "You sure?"

            "Positive," I gulped, suddenly weak in my knees, wondering what I was getting myself into.

            "Great. We're on our way."

            "Fabulous. See you soon!"

            Oh, oh. I didn't even have time to think before my reptilian world went spinning around and around and around. I fainted once again and crashed to the floor.

            A little while later, Lorrie's concerned voice brought me around, "Jerry, Jerry. Are you okay?" I sat up, rubbing my eyes. "Yeah, I'm all right. I just...wait a minute!" I panicked, scanning the room frantically, "Where's Julie?"

            Lorrie smiled and kissed me. "She's not here. I didn't want to take a chance on..."

            "...on me fainting again?" I completed her thought, feeling not only sheepish at my inability to deal with reptiles in general and Julie in particular, but also relieved I wouldn't have to, at least not right then.

            "Yeah, something like that," she grinned.

            I felt bad. I didn't want this woman I really cared about to think I was being a jerk for not liking her pet snake; her beloved Julie. Also, there was that male ego thing. I wanted to prove to her I really wasn't all that afraid.

            Next thing I knew, feeling a burst of confidence that came out of nowhere, I stated, "I'll tell you what. I'm willing to give it another try." I remember distinctly trying to keep the tremor out of my voice.

            "That's so sweet," she hugged me."Really?"

            I took a deep breath and let it out. "Really."

            "Well, that's great. I'll go get her."

            "Wait a minute! What do you mean? Now?"

            "Yeah. I left her in my car. I'll be right back."

            Oh, my. What had I gotten myself into?

Five months later and I have to say that things are working out good. Lorrie and I get along great and are still dating. I'm getting used to Julie. We even play together sometimes. She's not so bad, although she's kind of heavy. Lorrie feeds her once a week. I won't tell you what, but let's just say that I leave mealtime to her.

            But, when it comes to love? Well that's a different story. I care for Lorrie a lot and I'll do just about anything for her, even learn to like Julie. But please, don't let her start buying any more snakes, even one as likeable as her pet. I'm not sure I could handle it, because, believe me, as far as me and pet snakes are concerned, one is more than enough. 

 

About the author

Jim lives in a small town twenty miles west of Minneapolis, Minnesota. His stories have appeared in many online and print publications. His collection of short stories Resilience is scheduled to be published in 2020 by Bridge House Publishing. All of his stories can be found on his blog: www.theviewfromlonglake.wordpress.com.