The dense arrays of taillights and
headlights were tranquilizing.
But
as he approached the PanNet Corporation headquarters again, he began to fidget
as the unsettling feeling of having been disconnected resumed.
Two guards stood
in the main gatehouse gazing out at the luminous stream of traffic.
The local news
trucks that covered the resource action had left an hour before.
He wished he had
crashed his car through the gate earlier.
That would have been an interesting item for the evening news.
Resource action. Sounds like a phrase that a cartoon snake
would hiss.
He
drove past PanNet with jaw clamped.
Eight big buildings,
set among a sprawling immaculate landscape in what had once been tobacco fields
and loblolly pine woods.
He’d driven past them
back-and-forth several times but wasn’t ready to give in to the layoff and go
home. Not until he reconnected somehow.
He took out his
cell phone, enabled caller-ID, and keyed Madison’s number, expecting her to not
pick up. She had hung up on their
previous conversation, but he was anxious to talk to someone.
Despite his agitation,
he leaned to his right to glimpse himself in the rearview mirror and held the
phone so that other drivers could see his silhouette using the latest in
cell-phone technology.
“Hey,” Madison answered
sympathetically. No, pityingly. “I thought I’d heard wrong, but when I looked
you up in Collabo, you weren’t there.”
With
the flick of a few keys, a roll of a mouse, he
had been wiped out of Collabo, PanNet’s email, scheduling, and
virtual-conferencing system.
“Are you okay?” Madison
queried.
“Why
wouldn’t I be okay?”
She
sighed. “You’re going through a
traumatic milestone in your career.”
“I’m not the only
one,” he said, as if accused of something.
“Well,
now, I realize that, and it’s definitely a, uh, paradigm shift for you and the
others who were selected for the RA.”
He
breathed deeply before replying through his teeth. “You sound like the severance package.”
“I
don’t mean to.”
“Of
course not,” he said. “After all, you
didn’t receive one.”
“Not
yet,” she said.
“Oh,
come on, Madison, you don’t have anything to worry about. There’s always a position in PanNet for an
MBA.”
They
had been hired at the same time, but her career movement had been at a
45-degree angle, while his had been horizontal, even with a couple extraprofessional
achievements.
“Especially
an MBA with your connections,” he added.
“But
you can be sure that my resume is updated and ready for distribution,” she
countered.
He
laughed at her conversational slumming.
She was one of the FLOPs, a “future leader of PanNet,” and was being groomed
by management and was on her way up just as surely as she had been on her way
out of his life after a short year together.
“It’s
a positive indicator that you can laugh about this reduction in force,” Madison
said encouragingly.
“Wasn’t laughing
about that.”
“No,
I suppose it’s not a laughing matter,” she humored him. “But PanNet is the loser.”
“Just
like you were the loser when you let me go?”
Her breakup speech
had been as stilted as the words in the layoff package. He intuited that it had more to do with his
declining corporate visibility, and less with romantic reasons.
Or both.
“Our
goals were just no longer aligned,” Madison said.
“On
the corporate level,” he sneered, “or the personal level?”
“Look,
I answered your call because I thought I could help to mediate your career and
life adjustment, but I don’t feel that I’m accomplishing that.”
He
laughed again. Now she sounded like a
PanNet Career Coach. And he realized
that that was how he had frequently thought and talked. But no more.
“We’re getting off
topic,” Madison said. “I suggest we try
a more productive discussion later in the week.”
“Well,
let’s synch-up our calendars,” he scoffed.
“Oh, wait, I forgot . . . Collabo doesn’t know me any longer.”
“And the way
you’re acting,” Madison said, “you’re no one that I know.”
He didn’t respond
but kept pointing the cell phone at his ear.
Though traveling at 60 miles per hour, he had no sensation of movement.
“Are you there?” Madison
asked.
He didn’t know how
to answer that, so he closed the phone and continued traversing the Beltway.
The Beltway was
unfinished and shaped like the headphone icon on his confiscated laptop. When he got to one barricade to the
unfinished part of the Beltway, he’d turn around and drive 29 miles to the
other barricade, passing PanNet enroute.
Though he knew the
Beltway, he kept the UR@ map glowing conspicuously on the dash where a Virgin
Mary might have stood.
Olde
Towne Centre
Next
3 Exits
The
green light from the overhead mall sign flashed on his severance package in the
passenger bucket seat.
For five years, he
had thought of himself as a PanNeteer.
There had been times – for example, walking down long empty carpeted
corridors late at night, the ubiquitous white noise barely audible -when he
felt one with the corporation.
For five years!
Now
he recognized PanNet as a betrayer, and carting around the severance package was
insult to injury.
He
briefly wondered how much personal information was in the package that could be
used to steal his identity, and then didn’t care. He pushed the automatic sunroof button and chucked
the thick envelope into the rushing draft.
Cars
behind and passing him blared their horns.
One
driver kept abreast of him and was probably cursing at him.
He taunted the
driver by ignoring him, keeping his eyes on the license plate ahead:
I S P
L T @ M Z
The
driver precariously squeezed in front of him and angrily shook a middle finger
at him.
He
felt a sudden affinity with his antagonist, but then realized that the
antagonist was misplacing his anger. For
he was behind them, scattered by traffic over the lanes of the Beltway, among
the spirits of deer run over on nights during the fall migration.
“I’m back there,” he
muttered. “Somewhere, I am.”
I am.
He
forced a sardonic laugh. Collabo had a
menu function titled I am that
displayed an employee’s profile. Any
user of Collabo could view another’s profile with a similar menu function
titled Meet your team.
He had a
superlative profile, just what the company said it was looking for.
Summa cum laude BS
in computer science and math, with a concentration in human-computer
interaction.
And as early as his
first year at PanNet, he had earned a patent related to the work that he was
doing to help redesign one of PanNet’s many graphical user interfaces: Algorithm
for Subject Retrieval Using Metadata.
So how stupid had
he been not to have induced the shutdown of his under-performing product line,
and secured another job before then?
How complacent had
he been at the transfer of jobs overseas?
Floodlights
revealed two isolated buildings in the darkening terrain. Lighted from below, the black glass edifices
looked spooky, like a flashlight held under one’s chin.
He’s
Not Here
He
wondered how many times he had seen that nightclub bumper sticker during the
past several years on the Beltway as he drove to and from work. How appropriate.
As
he again approached PanNet, and the disturbing feeling of having been disconnected,
he flinched as his cell phone played that week’s ring tone, Jan and Dean’s
“Dead Man’s Curve.”
Madison? Calling back in concern?
It
wasn’t Madison.
“Yew sure this ain’t
Pan Perfect Porque?” the caller pestered him.
He snapped the
phone shut and threw it onto the passenger seat. He cringed wondering whether his next job
would be taking food orders over the phone, and wrung his hands around the cushioned
steering wheel to stretch his arms. He
was startled to realize that he had been looping the Beltway for several hours.
He became even
more anxious as he noted that the twilight traffic was thinning. He was being left alone.
He
had always secretly liked the traffic as much as the noisy open-floor workplace
at PanNet, though he would complain about it with his peers. Both the cramped cubicle farm and the congested
traffic made him feel . . . what was it?
Like he belonged.
But on this
evening in early March, with the black tree limbs like discrete networks in a
blue-screen-of-death sky, he felt as detached as the separate bits of white
dividing line would feel.
He glanced at other
drivers and wanted to reach out to them, even if only to exchange curses or
horn blaring.
Most of the cars
were single-occupant, the drivers’ immobile, mask-like faces lighted by the
cool greens or blues of their dashboard lights.
The drivers and passengers of the few cars that had multiple occupants
likewise stared forward as motionless and silent as turned-off monitors.
What was needed
was some kind of tool to bring him together with them, like the disk
defragmenter on personal computers.
But
it wasn’t that easy, and he snickered at his silly thought.
All he had was his
cell phone. If he could only use it to connect. Just once, briefly.
He opened the cell
phone and tried to join a chat room that he frequented that was probably abuzz
with the layoff, but was dismayed to see he was out of range for a wireless connection.
He fondled it as
he considered his options. He could try
a random phone number. Or Dial-A-Prayer. LifeLine.
CrisisLine. 911. He would have been better off calling any of
those instead of that Madison. If he
waited, maybe he’d receive another order for barbecue. Family.
Friends.
No, he wanted an
anonymous call, for that’s what he was now.
Rather, he was nonexistent. He
couldn’t even link to a chat room. PanNet
and Madison had set up the proof for his nonexistence. He’d make it a theorem.
He couldn’t get
anymore anonymous than 1-800-HOTTEEZ. And
it was something he would never have done in the past.
“Trixie”
sultrily answered his call. Her name and
fake Southern accent struck him as comical.
And her patter -- “Ah’ll be your intimate-needs counselor this evening” --
might have been written by PanNet’s
public relations. But he didn’t
chuckle. He was nervous, and embarrassed
to be calling this place, that he had come to this.
Trixie
understood all that and said it was normal for first-time users of the service. And no one would know it was “little ole you
talking to little ole me,” if that was bothering him.
“You can call back
when you’re ready to commit,” Trixie suggested.
“I’m ready now,”
he said.
“Me too,” Trixie
said. “But don’t you think it would be a
lot more intimate if you’d tell me your name?”
Anonymity be
damned, he suddenly wanted her to know it was he, and where he was.
“I like it in a
car, Kylar,” Trixie said. “There are so
many positions you can assume.”
To his surprise,
he became aroused, feeling the numbness leave his mind and spirit as his cheeks
flushed with the conversation.
“Speaking
of assuming,” Trixie breathed, “do you like role-playing?”
He
was about to respond, “Sure,” but several seconds of reflection triggered the
opposite response. “No!” he said vehemently. “Not now.”
“Okay,
shug, okay,” Trixie placated him. “It’ll
just be you and I then.”
As they talked and
became more personal, Kylar accelerated.
He whipped past the exit sign to Vistful Vue, the last standalone
housing tract before the end of the Beltway, barreling past every car.
“I wish,” he
gasped, “you were here.”
“I
am.”
“I
mean really here.”
“But
I really am there. How ca-an I prove it?”
He
told her.
“Oh,
I do like that,” Trixie said. “Drive
safely, hear?”
“Complete control.”
“Oooh,
master,” she cooed.
“No,
say my name,” he pleaded.
“Kyyylar,”
Trixie drawled.
He
stomped the accelerator, ignoring the frantic honking and flashing headlights
behind him.
As
he shot his car between a blur of orange-and-white striped DO NOT ENTER signs, the
concrete barricade loomed for a millisecond before crushing him with an
orgasmic shriek.
About the author
Besides technical documentation, Rick’s fiction
publications include short stories and one YA novel (CASCADES). Journal
experience: eight years as an associate editor at Bartleby Snopes; December 2023 -
March 2025, associate editor at Fiction on the Web.
Most recently, “Shock Corridor,” went live at Maudlin House on July 30th.
Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)