Linda Casper
lemon and ginger herbal tea
It
was another full house. May noted that
the audience was mainly made up of middle aged ladies with eyes firmly fixed on
Frankie. With his youthful figure and
his full head of hair, he was quite the silver fox. May thought back to the time when she was the
main attraction of their comedy double act as they toured prestigious venues;
the Tower Blackpool, big hotels at Scarborough, the Spa at Bridlington and City
Varieties in Leeds. In those days she
would wear slinky, low cut, mini dresses with sparkly high-heeled shoes. Young men would be waiting for her at the
stage door, sometimes with flowers, often with proposals which she never took
further. Frankie would be jealous but
May had always been a faithful wife.
May
knew she still looked good on the publicity posters but nothing short of
cosmetic surgery could conceal her true age under the spotlights. This was not an option for her; she had seen
too many female performers trying to hold on to their youth but ending up
looking more like freaks.
The
show was going down well. The “knock,
knock” jokes were always a good icebreaker and the mother-in-law stories always
raised a laugh. The banter continued and
the audience was responsive. After years
of working together, Frankie and May’s timing was excellent.
“Who
was that lady I saw you with at the bus stop?” May asked.
“That
was no lady, that was my wife!” retorted Frankie.
“Who
was that lady you were seen with at the Red Lion on Tuesday?” May
asked.
The
hesitation was apparent and May saw Frankie visibly pale beneath his stage
make-up before he collected himself and answered, “that was no lady, that was my
wife”.
The
audience was puzzled and even more confused when May began to storm off the
stage, pausing only to slap her husband across his face on her way
out.
You
may be wondering if that was the end of the double act. Not at all, only now it was billed as Frankie
and Hayley with the latter getting most of the attention from the audience.
