A spider has taken over our shed down the bottom of the garden. We can't use it any more. People say we're silly to be scared of spiders but this one shouts and swears if we approach him, let alone suggest it should leave.
'I'm an artist,' he says. 'Away, philistines! I'm creating.'
He uses our tools and doesn't contribute to the rent. Sometimes he works throughout the night, making noise and mess. The neighbours complained but there's nothing we can do, genius is not nine-to-five.
So, the landlord is evicting us. Well, good luck with telling the spider.
About the author
Mike Olley made music videos but gave it all up to live next to a Spanish castle, where he grew cactuses, practised carpentry and wrote strange funny stories. A quirk of fate brought him to the English seaside where he continues to write. Published in several anthologies, his own collection of short stories is entitled Better. Mikeolley.com
Published May 26 2015