Tuesday 24 January 2023

LOST by Marion Ward, a nice cup of cocoa

It was in April 2021 that Nathan lost his last remaining tooth.  It fell out, with no warning, on his 89th birthday.  As this would be his last chance he decided to place the tooth under his pillow to see if there was any truth in the story that fairies would take it away overnight and leave him money.  Apparently it used to be a silver sixpence but what with inflation, not to mention decimalization, it could now be £2 or even more.

He went to bed early, as normal, and then woke with the rising sun.  He looked under his pillow.  His tooth was still there but so too was a note which read

We are sorry but we are extremely busy at the moment and are experiencing fairy shortages due to COVID.  Please be assured that your teeth are important to us and we would ask you to try again later.

Nathan scratched his head.  He had not considered that fairies could catch COVID.  Still there was nothing else for it so he left his tooth under the pillow for a second night.  The next morning he woke to find his tooth was gone but no money had been left.  He wrote a rather curt note of complaint and left it under his pillow.  He knew his was only a very old front tooth but it should be worth something.

On the third morning he woke to find his note gone, no money but another note left which read

We are sorry but we are extremely busy at the moment and are experiencing fairy shortages due to COVID.  Please be assured that your teeth are important to us and we would ask you to try again later.

He was getting quite cross now so left an even more sharply worded note of complaint.

On the fourth morning he woke to find no money but a note which read

We are sorry for the poor service issue caused by fairy shortages due to COVID.  We are pleased to advise we are now in a position to pay you £2.50 for your tooth but, due to COVID we are not undertaking cash transactions at this time.  If you could kindly provide your card details we will credit your account accordingly.

Now Nathan was delighted with the offer of £2.50 and only regretted all the other teeth which he had so carelessly disposed of.  The trouble was he did not own a credit card or a debit card not even a bank card.  He could not be doing with all those new fangled things when the space under his mattress had served so well all these years.  So he left a note under his pillow asking if he could be paid some other way i.e. by a can or two of cream of mushroom soup which was his particular favourite.  He woke on the fifth morning to find a note which read

We are so sorry but we are out of stock of cans of cream of mushroom soup as there is a shortage of mushrooms due to covid and the fact that our mushroom picking pixies are on furlough.  Please advise an alternative and indicate whether you are prepared to accept a substitute if the product is unavailable.

Nathan duly left a note saying he would like mulligatawny soup and that, yes, he would accept a substitute.  He just wanted to bring the whole thing to a conclusion.  He woke on the sixth morning to find a note which read

We are sorry but we are extremely busy at the moment and are experiencing fairy shortages due to COVID.  Please be assured that your teeth are important to us and we would ask you to try again later.

Rapidly losing the will to carry on Nathan had a restless night before he woke to find a note which read

We are sorry but we are out of stock of mulligatawny soup but at your request we have left you a substitution.  If you are not satisfied please simply return it to us and we will issue a refund to the card used to make this purchase.

Nathan lifted the pillow a little higher to find......a tube of Sensodyne Pronamel Gentle Whitening toothpaste.

 

About the auhtor 

Marion  ward is a retired business woman now trying to expand and enjoy her creative self through fictional writing 
 
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