Santa has upgraded. The quaint, fairy-tale sleigh was past it and new technology (with subsidies) made it a no-brainer. He now has a hybrid.
Around town, stop-start, it augments the traditional with electric, and for the longer runs, especially ocean and polar traverses, the battery makes for a smoother and more economical journey. It's also much quieter and less polluting (sitting directly behind the propulsion units was clearly a design flaw). True, the lithium batteries weigh more, but that was easily solved by ditching the reindeer and installing moose. The power-to-weight ratio is impressive, with little compromise on manoeuvrability, and no-one dares messing with moose while he's parked up for a quick delivery. Quite frankly, just getting rid of that pesky ninth unit with the faulty nose light is a bonus in itself, always one-upping at every opportunity, never really a team player.
He still needs to find names for the moose. Forward, Mid, Central and Tail, won't catch on with the public (even when adding ‘port’ and ‘starboard’ designations for adherence to aviation protocols). Cool names are required. He’d like to open this up for suggestions but he knows that a certain group will push for ‘Moosey McMooseface’ and he’s caught in two minds – will it cheapen the Santa brand or strengthen engagement with his target demographic?
Going hybrid also means registering a new aircraft identifier. Something to capture the excitement that is part of Santa's unique selling point. 'HOHOHO' and 'Santa-One' worked well but they aren't dynamic enough.
He never had to worry about crowed skies, insurance, nor tracking before modern times. Insurance? With no record of significant incident (nothing more that dislodged roof tiles or occasional piles of organic waste) and with no-one having made a claim (or if they did, they went onto the naughty list), he intends to stick with self-insured and hope nobody queries it.
Back to the aircraft identifier; the elves loudly suggested 'Go-Santa' and his wife nodded enthusiastically. On the other hand, perhaps he could register with the Belgian Civil Aviation Authority to have 'OO-Santa'. Worth trying?
About the author
Andy, English, former software developer, now connecting with his creative side, likes tea. Still working on his autobiographical, rhyming epic poem which will one day be turned into a Hollywood movie starring Henry Cavill in the lead role. Maybe!
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