Hayley’s a bit of a martyr. A people pleaser, to be polite. A self-centred bitch, to be honest, and isn’t that what most of us think of our friends? It depends, of course, what stage you’re at in the friendship. The bitch part comes when you’re bitter, usually at the very end. Jaya got the people pleasing part when Hayley welcomed her to Spanish class and leapt at the chance to own her. They struck up a classroom friendship and Hayley took to Jaya straightaway, sharing from the very start uncensored details of her life and why she lived alone. Her husband had taken his own life. He’d jumped in front of a train, on the track from Didcot to London. He’d been caught with a girl of fifteen and been suspended from teaching. He and Hayley had two grown-up sons.
Hayley spoke openly and constantly about this, so much so that it seemed remarkably recent. It turned out to have happened in 2010 but talking to all and sundry was Hayley’s therapy. Her husband’s betrayal, his crimes and cunning, had crushed her. Jaya, naturally, was horrified and wished to help Hayley lance this wound. She listened to her for hours and checked in on her often. Jaya was empathetic and Hayley tunnelled into empaths’ brains, using passive aggressive techniques to demand time and attention.
Make sure that I’m not forgotten.
Hayley had worked as an accountant and was skilled in maths and statistics. Like many woman of her age she’d never reached the heights she deserved. She was seventy-five, nearly two decades older than Jaya. Though she no longer worked she was much too bright to be retired. Her network of local friends and family was wide. She had never once lived outside Oxford. Compared to her Jaya was a newbie who’d amassed very few friends.
Jaya and her husband Alex were not couply and their children had left home. Being married did not prevent Jaya from taking trips with friends and she invited Hayley to accompany her to Madrid. A short sojourn, sufficient for two local dinners and an art tour. Hayley left matters of choice to Jaya. I’m happy to go anywhere, see and eat whatever you want. Jaya chose the restaurants and at dinner Hayley complained that her family was not stepping up. That her sons neglected her for their wives. Though Jaya was ready to listen, and to sympathise, concrete examples of neglect were not proffered.
The trip was a success and Jaya felt she finally had a new friend. Being in need of friends, as only children often are, she valued Hayley and hoped that this feeling was mutual. She got on with life in Oxford and her job in a science laboratory. But then she Subverted The Trend and left the Spanish class! With this one action Jaya fell from Hayley’s Roster of Active Acquaintances, the list that helped Hayley’s brain to rank and organise friends, and the rules of friendship changed. Jaya’s continued texts indicated that she did not get the updated rules. What should Hayley do now with Jaya, who no longer belonged? There was no file marked Random Friendships, or Floating Friends. Jaya had missed the script and wanted to remain on Hayley’s roster. She did strange, unexpected things. She sent texts to see how Hayley was and invited her for Christmas Day. And Hayley was in no doubt that this invitation was genuine.
Hayley experienced mild panic. She’d complained for months that she feared being forgotten at Christmas but she was used to complaining. It was quite an imposition to be invited. Hayley lived in the past and Jaya was not even an old friend. Hayley opted not to reply; she must push Jaya out gradually. Jaya, for her part, hoped Hayley would respond. Her own South Asian family unit had vanished as people died. Friends had moved on, leaving her floundering. The rules of friendship, of interactions in general, seemed to have changed. It never used to be this hard. She feared appearing needy and did not press Hayley to RSVP, even as Christmas approached. She’s English, after all, and a little uncomfortable.
It emerged later that there’d been a near-miss: Hayley had nearly spent Christmas on her own! She accepted a coffee from Jaya and recounted the supreme self-obsession of David, her locally-based son. He never even asked what I was going to do! Didn’t stop to wonder where I’d go for Christmas, or even to confirm his own plans. Well his wife had just proposed leaving the country to work on her own in Dubai. And I think they had a row and forgot about Christmas but I did think he could spare me a thought, you know. Hadn’t he even wondered what I’d do on the day? In the end I phoned my brother and he invited me to join his family, and oh goodness it was such a long drive to get there but they were so kind and next year I shall damn well make sure this never happens again and I shall book a trip away to avoid wanting my sons to take care of me because they obviously find it a terrible chore and how selfish of Mark to go with his wife and girls to Finland (where my daughter-in-law’s family lives) though actually they did originally invite me but somebody messed up on the Finland end and the property was too small for us all so I couldn’t go. By the way I do hope you’ll stay in touch now you’ve left the class. We must continue to meet up.
Jaya and Alex invited Hayley to dinner at a local Thai restaurant. So glad you asked me. I never get invited out on a Saturday night! Alex spontaneously covered the entire bill and Hayley pretended to protest. I’ll buy you lunch in a few weeks, she offered. Weeks later (not wishing to seem pushy) Jaya texted to check that Hayley was alright. A jaunty reply zinged back. I’ve been thinking of you but I’m snowed under with David and Caroline’s new puppy. Love to see you (but I won’t do anything about it because honestly I’ve forgotten all about you and I know you like to have friends but you don’t come to Spanish anymore and I can’t think of anything to say when I see you and I’m not keen to plan lunch and think about where to go and in any case I’m so busy!)
But do text. It’s so lonely when you don’t hear from people.
No one ever seems to care.
About the author
Nargis Lal is a new writer. Her achievements include: Short-listed for Cranked Anvil Flash Fiction Prize with ‘VIRGINITY’ Long-listed for Fiction Factory Short Story Competition with ‘MATRICIDE’ and ‘WALTHAMSTOW VILLAGE’ She is British Indian. Her stories deal with sex, race, politics, and relationships.
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