Tuesday 13 December 2016

Wake up Call

Linda Flynn

golden dream (a cocktail)

Catch a cliché full of illusory situations as we open the curtains to the pantomime of life...
Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a beautiful princess, who was as fair as fair can (unnaturally) be. She was as good as she was beautiful, which in case you were wondering, was very good indeed.
Her only problem was that she required an excessive amount of beauty sleep, one hundred years to be precise.
            So, when the handsome prince in tight fitting breeches found her, she was enjoying a little shut eye.
            One sight of her completely took his breath away. (To tell the truth he was also a tad breathless on account of having to hack his way through the undergrowth surrounding the castle, as a good gardener could not be found for love or money.) Which was almost as bad as wading through her massive shoe collection, in fact he nearly got himself impaled on one of her ruby slippers. But then a girl can never have too many pairs of shoes.
            Anyway, to cut to the chase, the prince kissed her ruby red, perfect Cupid’s bow lips. When she could get a word in edgeways, the princess opened her big brown Bambi eyes and said, “My Prince!” Which was perhaps a bit presumptuous and premature.
            Notwithstanding, they married in haste in an intimate ceremony, with just a thousand or two honoured guests, some of whom they knew.
Certainly the blushing bride looked radiant at the side of her perfect prince, as she anticipated a life of wedded bliss in the happily ever after.
True, she had a problem or two with her mother-in- law, who would put a hard pea under the mattress of her bed and who gave her a glass slipper as a bit of a joke. She wasn’t sure about all that stuff about talking to her reflection in the mirror either.
            Even the prince appeared to have picked up one or two bad habits on the way. He certainly owned some beautiful things, but in her opinion he spent far too much time frantically rubbing on his magic lamp.
Of course he was entitled to own his ugly duckling and his share of furry friends, after all every dog must have his day; it was just that pushy little Puss in Boots that she couldn’t stand.
Over time she began to realise that he wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, particularly hers, but that there was no point in crying over spilt milk.
            Nor could she really understand why the prince would insist upon climbing up her long flowing hair to reach their tower room, when there was a perfectly good spiral staircase.
            On reaching the summit he would scratch his head and mutter, “I’m sure I came in here for something.”
            It was at that point that she realised that the perfect prince she had married had turned into a flipping frog.
            The best that she could hope for was to wake up and discover that it had all been just a dream.
About the Author
Linda Flynn has had two humorous novels published: Hate at First Bite for 7 – 9 year olds and My Dad’s a Drag, for teenagers. Both won Best First Chapter in The Writers’ Billboard competition.
She has six educational books with the Heinemann Fiction Project. In addition she has written for a number of newspapers and magazines, including theatre reviews and several articles on dogs.
Her short stories with Bridge House include: two adult stories, To Take Flight, in the Going Places anthology  and I knew it in the Bath in Something Hidden, as well as The Wild Ones, for teenagers in Devils, Demons and Werewolves. Two children’s short stories: The Secret Messenger and Timid Tim were included in Hippo-Dee-Doo-Dah.
On 15th November 2015, Linda’s latest short story, Snowdrop was published in the Bridge House Christmas anthology, Snowflakes.
            Linda also works as a Head of English and PR at a school in Middlesex. Her interests include swimming, reading, walking her rescue dogs and far too much time spent daydreaming.

Linda’s website is: www.lindaflynn.com 

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