"Hey, there little dude."
"Don't be afraid."
"Mom, Dad. We have a burglar!"
"I'm not going to hurt you. I'm God."
"Look. Don't you recognize me from that picture on your wall?"
"How did you get in here?"
"I'm always here. I chose to let you see me for a while."
"So you can always see me?"
"Yes, my child, always."
"Even when I'm in the shower or changing my underwear?"
"Sometimes I look the other way."
"OK, God, what's the deal?"
"Well, I was feeling a bit restless today, so I thought I'd talk to some of my people. You don't seem to be doing much of anything. Maybe we could chat for a while?"
"Whatever floats your boat, you're the boss."
"Is there anything you'd like to ask now that I'm here?"
"Yeah, actually there is. This guy was at our door earlier. He was looking for donations on behalf of The Church so they could help with famine relief."
"Ah, a very worthy cause."
"Yeah, but my question is: why was he asking us for money? My dad lost his job a few months ago, and we barely have enough to feed ourselves. Mom cries all the time because the bills keep coming in, and now they argue every day. Listen... Can you hear them?"
"See, what I've been wondering is, if The Church is so anxious to help, why don't they sell some of their own stuff? The Pope has more money than he'll ever need. He wears jewels and lives in a palace. Why doesn't he live in an ordinary house like you did, when you were here full-time? I mean, you're the real top dog, and If you lived and walked among the people, then why can't he?"
"Very good question."
"Yeah, and if The Church sold its valuables and lived as you did, then they could help everybody... even us!"
"You're right, kid. Listen, I have to go now. I have got a lot of work to do when I get back, but I promise, there will be changes."
"Oh yes, little man, for real. I was wondering why my true friends were abandoning me. For the last few hundred years, I've been surrounded by a lot of get-rich-quick folks. I apologize that I've only realized it now."
"Don't sweat it, God. Nobody's perfect."
"You've given me plenty to think about. Don't worry about your parents. Soon everything will be alright. Do you believe me?"
"Yes, God. I do."
"I've had a thought. Would you like to come back with me and work for me? You could be my right-hand man and... "
"Um.. No thanks. I'm not quite ready to leave yet. I'm only fourteen, and I have a hot date with this chick that I've been chasing for ages."
"Hey God. About you seeing everything. Would you be a pal, and turn the other way for a few hours on Saturday night...? Just kidding. You're leaving then? Hey, God?"
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