I don’t know why you want me to go through it again. I was clear enough the first time. I know what I said sounds incredible, but that is not the same as impossible. Nor would I invent such a story. It sounds mad. Why do you think I’ve spent so long hiding this?
You say you want to ensure you’ve got the details right. Why? You realise you can’t tell anyone?
You would sound mad.
I guess it’s not an easy thing to accept you have an unusual parent but, be fair, someone has to be Santa.