DECEMBER 5 2013: FESTIVE CLEANING? Or HUMBUG?

DECEMBER 5 2013: FESTIVE CLEANING? Or HUMBUG?

Helen Laycock

Dead Silence

Cappuccino, effusive with froth, from a permanently gurgling machine

He was such a grouch.

            Sitting in that wing-back with his broadsheet whilst she padded around in slippers… shushing her as she struggled to emit the tiniest spritz of Pledge… tutting as she slapped the cushion she wished was Harry. Those grooves between his eyebrows like sunken staples…

            The corners of his mouth looked as though they had been caught on fishing line.

 Agnes brandished the duster feverishly across the mantelpiece and sang. Loudly.

            Whoops!

            Once she had picked up the pieces of the urn, Agnes watched Harry swirl inside the drum of the vacuum cleaner.

            ‘Bloody racket!’ she mimicked.

About the Author

Helen Laycock has written two contrasting collections of short stories: Peace and Disquiet and Light Bites she is working towards compiling three more. She also has work included in: One Word Anthology.

One of her stories recently reached the shortlist of the final three at The Ryedale Book Festival and she has enjoyed success in many other writing competitions, both for short stories and poetry. Helen also writes children’s fiction and has completed eight mystery/adventure books for 7 – 12-year olds. These and books of humorous poetry for both adults and children can be found on her Author Page. Helen Laycock has had several pieces featured on CafeLit.

Author Page: LINK

Facebook: LINK

Twitter: LINK

DECEMBER 4 2013: COLOUR

DECEMBER 4 2013: COLOUR

Roger Noons

Butterfly Ballet

A tiny cup of the sweetest nectar

A trio of Whites perform a complicated country dance against a shaded fence. A yard away, Peacocks binge on a Buddleia Black Knight bush, on the periphery of which, trips a Comma; low profile, feeding on emerging blooms. A Speckled Wood skips into the garden; nonchalant, ignoring his cousins. If he had the organs, he would surely whistle as he goes along. A Common Blue darts hither and thither, the epitome of fast feeding. Stillness, as the Red Admiral arrives to carry out an inspection, take the salute of the parade. Satisfied, he eventually departs, and normality returns.

About the Author

Roger is a regular contributor to the CaféLit site and a couple of his stories have been selected for the Best of CaféLit 2012.

DECEMBER 3 2013: GIFT IN DISGUISE

DECEMBER 3 2013: GIFT IN DISGUISE

Sharon Alder

The Bug

Sex On The Beach

I am beginning to wonder what is wrong with me as I kneel with my head over the toilet seat and wretch for the umpteenth time. I have mentally gone through everything I had to eat or drink yesterday and the previous two and nothing springs to mind that could have upset me like this. It must be a confounded bug I conclude. Four weeks later my bug is confirmed, it will reach full gestation in nine months and probably bug me for the rest of my life but that said I am deliriously happy to finally become a Mom.

About the Author

Sharon lives in Staffordshire

She writes purely for fun and from life experiences, it’s a great way of letting things go she says!She would love to have a novel published one day

DECEMBER 2 2013: SURPRISE

DECEMBER 2 2013: SURPRISE

Susan Eames

Blind Date

Singapore Sling

Norman checked his watch. He jiggled his buttocks on the bar stool. The bar mirror gave him a view of the door. He'd see her first and have time to ditch his magazine if necessary.
She walked in. What a babe! Should he wave? No! Not cool, not cool.
He looked down: controlled a giggle and discreetly flapped his sweaty hands. Don't show your nerves, Norman. Don't look up yet. Make her wait.
He took a breath and looked up to meet her gaze. Her magazine lay on an empty table. 
What the bloody hell? Norman smoothed his comb-over, incredulous.

About the author
Susan Eames left England over twenty years ago to explore the world and dive its oceans. She has had travel articles and short fiction published on three continents. Until recently, Susan lived in Fiji, but is currently exploring new possibilities.

DECEMBER 1 2013: MAGIC

DECEMBER 1 2013: MAGIC

Allison Symes

A Study In Magic

Black Coffee

She expertly extracts revenge, dispatching man and beast where necessary. She dresses well though despises fashion slaves. Her long brunette hair, gleaming in sunlight, is her vanity. She doesn’t get jokes. Humour gets in the way for the Fairy Queen’s exterminator of evil. 

Only fools cross Deamadrell. She uses her own adaptations to her world’s ancient spells. Her favourite is to turn an offender into a frog, ensuring they stay fully aware of what happened, before dumping them in a heron colony. Nobody complains. 

The Kingdom’s herons have never been so well fed.

About the Author

Allison Symes writes fairytales with bite. Her first loves are novels and short stories but has flirted with poems and the odd script. She is part of the Association of Christian Writers, the Society of Authors and adores P.G.Wodehouse, Jane Austen and Terry Pratchett.

Websites: 

www.fairytaleswithbite@weebly.com

www.allisonsymes-thisworldandothers@weebly.com

100 Worder The Seasoned Traveller

100 Worder

Dawn Knox

The Seasoned Traveller

Espresso (Italian, with a caffeine kick)

‘Don’t know how these youngsters can afford priority boarding,’ the smartly dressed man said to Mia, nodding at the group of teenagers who were queuing behind them.

‘No,’ she agreed politely, although it only cost an extra £10 for priority boarding. Expensive, but hardly exorbitant.

He spent the next ten minutes trying to impress Mia with his knowledge of airlines and travel and she listened politely, hoping they wouldn’t be sitting together.

Finally, the gate opened and he offered the girl his ticket and passport.

‘Scusi, Signor, this flight is for Parma, Italy and your ticket is for Palma, Mallorca…’

About the Author
Dawn Knox has been writing for several years and has had horror and sci-fi stories published in various anthologies and romances published in magazines. She has just discovered the delights of Flash Fiction. 

100 Worder Three Pence Each

100 Worder

Gayle Beveridge

Three Pence Each

Flat Lemonade

He set three empty bottles on a counter he couldn’t see over. Each carried a three pence refundable deposit.

‘I’d like a Rocket Icy Pole please; from the bottle money.’ He spoke with confidence; he had rehearsed.

Old Clarence stared from beneath verandah eyebrows. ‘Where’d you get the bottles boy, your mother never buys soft drinks.’

‘A red one please.’

‘I reckon you stole those bottles from the crate out back. I reckon you’re a thief, boy.’ Old Clarence slammed his fist on the counter and one of the bottles toppled.

The boy watched it fall; then turned and ran.

  

About the author

Gayle loves her family, dogs, sunsets and chocolate. Her stories appear in anthologies, including Award Winning Australian Writing 2009 and 2012, Mosaic, The Umbrella’s Shade and Vegemite Whiskers. She has placed in Australian and international competitions and tweets very short stories on twitter @GayleBeveridge. More about Gayle at http://www.ficklefictioncom