by Hannah Retallick
Dave wants turkey breasts. Carl wants chicken thighs. Jane wants carrots. Steve wants parsnips. Dave wants napkins. Carl wants crackers. Jane wants mince pies. Steve wants pudding. Dave wants bells. Carl wants whistles. Jane wants music. Steve wants silence. Dave wants Queen’s Speech. Carl wants Monopoly. Jane wants talking. Steve wants tele. Dave wants. Carl wants. Jane wants. Steve wants. Dave wa, Carl wa, Jane wa. Steve wa. Dave, Carl, Jane, Steve. Dave Carl Jane Steve. DaveCarlJaneSteve. Davecarljanesteve. Dacajast.
Will my family ever shut up? I step onto the mountain of discarded wrapping paper, sticking to scrunched up Sellotape, and raise my glass of Baileys high. They keep talking. Cough cough. They keep grumbling. Cough cough. Oh, for goodness sake!
This’ll show 'em: ‘Good King Wenceslas la la. See amid the la la la. Hark the Herald la la la la. Oh, come all ye la la. Deck the halls with la la la la. Away in a la la. Silent night la la la la. Joy to world LA LAAA LAAAAA LAAAAAAA!’
They look at me like I’m an idiot.
‘It’s my turn,’ I say.
About the author
Hannah Retallick is a twenty-five-year-old from Anglesey, North Wales. She was home educated and then studied with the Open University, graduating with a First-class honours degree, BA in Humanities with Creative Writing and Music, and is studying for an MA in Creative Writing. She is working on her second novel and writes short stories and a blog. She was shortlisted in the Writing Awards at the Scottish Mental Health Arts Festival 2019, the Cambridge Short Story Prize, and the Henshaw Short Story Competition June 2019. https://ihaveanideablog.wordpress.com/