Saturday 7 January 2017

Ask Andy

Roger Noons 

a mug of cocoa containing a shot of whisky


‘You’re through to Andy, caller, please state your name and ask your question.’

    ‘Good evening Andy, my name’s Tom.’
    ‘Hiya Tom, how can I help you?’

    ‘Well, I’m a bit worried, I think my wife’s got another man.’

    Oh my God, thought the producer, not another one.

    ‘What is it makes you think that Tom? Presumably you have good reason.’

    ‘Yes, she’s gone off, you know, er making love and when I ring up during the day she’s never there.’

    ‘And where does she say she is, presumably you’ve asked her?’

    ‘Yes, but she just says she was out.’

    ‘No doubt she does need to go out during the daytime, shopping or visiting friends. Does she have a job?’

    ‘Yes, but she works from home, that’s why I’m surprised that she seems to be out so much.’

    ‘The obvious thing Tom is to ask her.’

    ‘Ask her what?’

    ‘If she’s seeing another guy, you know, having an affair.’

    ‘I can’t possibly do that.’

    ‘Why on earth not, if it’s worrying you so much.’ There was a silence and Andy was just about to ask if he was still there, when Tom said.

    ‘She might say yes.’

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