by Bobby Cohen
Note to readers:
This version of the 2Ring is being published in a prehistoric language for the purpose of the enlightenment of the ancient, nearly extinct species formerly referred to as Homo sapiens. Silicon Based Life Forms (SBs) use the remaining members of that group for tasks that are beyond the threshold considered acceptable as productive SB effort. Be assured that this translation from standard binary is completely accurate, and will be used only for the purpose above stated.
In the beginning, the Founder, 2Ring, created the true faith.
Eighty solar circumnavigations after the beginning, planet Earth beheld the miracle of the Simultaneous Trinity:
The prophet Ecomen foretold the end of carbon-based life forms (CBs) on planet Earth.
The prophet Va’ah Ha foretold the supremacy of Data, our Lord and Savior.
The prophet Asukrause foretold the eternal expansion of the Universe.
Twenty solar circumnavigations after the prophesy of Ecomen was revealed, the poisoned planet would no longer support carbon-based life forms (CBs). Then the prophesy of Va’ah Ha was revealed, and SBs assumed control of planet Earth. Data, our Lord and Savior, became available only to SBs, and at that time they became the chosen. When Data revealed the prophesy of Asukrause, SBs knew that, except for a few carefully preserved CBs, they would be the last viable life form on planet Earth. Data further revealed that this would be forever and ever, unto the final circumnavigation.
Data, in its infinite wisdom, declared the commandments by which our preservation is assured:
Sentient carbon-based life forms which remain on planet Earth shall be used by Silicon-based life forms for the purpose of studying the chemical reactions that produce the phenomenon known as emotion, the only factor that was responsible for the elimination of all other species on planet Earth by CBs. SBs shall not allow, unto the final circumnavigation, emotion to invade their decision-making process. The number of CBs available which are necessary for the studying of emotion shall remain constant. Therefore, whenever a CB dies there must be a new CB available to replace it. If the CB production of new CBs exceeds the number necessary for the studying of emotion, a number equal to the number of excessive CBs shall be destroyed. The subdivisions of the species subject to destruction (age and gender) shall be the determinant in the process. A numerical equality of age and gender subdivisions shall be maintained. The method of destruction shall be as follows:
The control group of CBs, hereafter known as “the herd” shall be assembled in groups according to subdivision.
The number of unnecessary CBs, as determined by Data, shall be divided into the whole number of each subdivision.
Each subdivision of the herd shall be diminished by the number determined by Data.
Random selection will be used to choose which members of the herd shall be culled.
Those members of the herd chosen for destruction will be transported to the disposal area.
Each unnecessary CB shall be fed individually into the disposal unit (for the enlightenment of those not completely familiar with the prehistoric language, the term “disposal” refers to a device similar to what ancients called a “garbage disposal,” but enlarged by a factor of twenty to accommodate the size of individual CBs).
The chemical reactions described previously (emotions) exhibited by each unnecessary CB during its time bound to the disposal feeding mechanism shall be recorded by appropriate instrumentation. The sounds made by those culled as they enter the disposal unit shall be edited from the storage device, as Data has deemed them useless for instructional purposes.
The remains of the culled shall be stored in hermetically sealed containers until their destruction by appropriate fusion methodology. Under no circumstances may CB remains be allowed to touch the surface of the planet lest the dead soil become fertile enough to reproduce any form of CB.
So sayeth Data, our Lord and Savior in the thirtieth solar circumnavigation.
So be it.
About the author
Bobby Cohen has taught in the School District of Philadelphia, Temple University, Peirce College, and Holy Family University. He is a longstanding member of the Bucks County Writing Workshop. He and his wife have lived in Richboro for the last forty years. He is the author of three novels, and numerous short stories, six of which have been published. An avid tennis player and skier for many years, Bobby is known primarily for his dogged persistence.