By Alan Cadman
a shot of JD
I’ve only been invited because Shirley died recently and I’m a relative. The contents of my will must also be very important to them. I’ve decided it will be the last Christmas Day I’ll spend with this lot. Shirley and I never had children; we used to enjoy the festivities differently to the rest of the family. We indulged in wild parties year after year; drink, drugs and rock ’n’ roll. I hate being old Uncle Jimmy now, propped up with a glass of sherry and a stale mince pie. None of my money will be going to these strangers.