Monday, 26 December 2022

Janus’ Dilemma by Dawn Knox, a stiff whisky

 I detest New Year.

Such a hazardous time. It’s most disconcerting to be able to look in front and behind simultaneously. People want to know what you can see. But no one’s interested in what I’m viewing as I peer backwards into the year just gone. They know what happened. No, they all want to hear about the future.

A Roman god can easily fall out of favour especially the bearer of bad news. I usually nod wisely and make rueful sounds whilst smiling enigmatically.

Let them interpret that as they wish!

About the author 

 Dawn’s three previous books in the ‘Chronicles Chronicles’ series are ‘The Basilwade Chronicles’, ‘The Macaroon Chronicles’ and 'The Crispin Chronicles' published by Chapeltown Publishing. 
You can follow her here on https://dawnknox.com 
Amazon Author: http://mybook.to/DawnKnox 

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Sunday, 25 December 2022

Sunday Serial: The House of Celmentine Chapters Three and Four by Gill James, orange juice

 

CHAPTER THREE

Rozia's Ulog

Hi all,

Time has just gone by so quickly since I was last in touch. I'm afraid, though it's not such good news at the moment.    

As you know I've been made so welcome here on Zandra and it hadn't ever occurred to me to question whether I belonged at all. But that has all changed in just one day. That routine referendum. Why do so many people want to leave the One World Community all of a sudden? What does that mean for Petri and me? Will they not want us anymore? Will they see us a drain on their resources?

It's all right for Kaleem. At least he looks a bit Zandrian. He is partly Zandrian.

Petri had been doing so well. But then she became ill quite suddenly. It was terrifying. She was obviously in so much pain - worse, I think, than ever before. Although Kaleem was with me when it happened, I really felt alone. We're away from home.

The wands didn't work. How could the wands not have worked? Had someone interfered with them? I'm really scared that somebody is trying to get at us. The doctor admitted that this kind of thing has happened a few times now. 

I was glad Kaleem was there and that he took us to the medi-centre.

Doctor Joahnsa Brooken was brilliant. I'm not sure that she believed me, though, when I said that I had applied the wands to Petri. But she soon sorted her out, anyway. It was really kind of her to give Petri something to make her calmer before she started applying the meds.

It was all still very worrying, though. The doctor admitted that this kind of thing had happened a few times now. And she doesn't even trust all of her colleagues. What is happening here?

I'm really grateful to her, anyway. I'm going to go to her for the wands in future - not rely on a courier to bring them, just as she suggested. And I'll only take them from her, not from one of her colleagues.  

It took Petri a while to recover, even after we'd got her home. Kaleem stayed with me. He was so kind and I was glad he was there. I hope he hasn't got the wrong impression, though. I do care for him and I know he cares for me and Petri. But I don't think we can ever be together again the way we were. Not after the way he left me. Not with me having to care for Petri.       

 

CHAPTER FOUR

Obek looked up through the leaves. The blue sky framed them perfectly. Now, the trees were covered in the orange fruit. Their experiment had been a success. Would the taste be right, though? Other small oranges were bitter. Was it the sunshine they lacked? The big juicy ones needed more warmth than they got here. Today was exceptional.

Well, just looking at them wouldn't get him a long way. He didn't want to go back and fetch a ladder. That might alert people to what he was doing. He would just have to climb the tree.

It wasn't that easy. The places where he could put his feet or get something to hold were few and far apart. The branches were thin and might not take his weight. A gentle breeze had sprung up. It was refreshingly cool but it made it difficult to balance.

At last though he could touch one of the fruits and even found a place to perch. The fruit fell easily into his hand. That was a good sign. It meant that it was ripe. He lifted it to his nose. Oh, yes. It smelt of oranges and there was something else as well. A hint of spiciness. Just a hint.

He started to peel the clementine. It peeled easily and the skin was so thin that pith came off with it. That would normally be a good thing but sometimes the flesh came off with the pith as well. Would they be able to make the skins a little sturdier?

He took a segment and put it into his mouth.

It was exquisite - sweet, juicy, orangey.

Yes, this is what they'd been aiming for.

He threw a dozen or so more clementines to the floor, scrambled down the tree, gathered up the fruits and rushed back to the mansion. His father must know of this as soon as possible.

 

"Well," said his father. "You have done extremely well. We'll need to expand the orchards now."

They had just returned from taking the first harvest to the market. Every single piece of fruit had sold at a good price and they'd secured orders for the following year.

Obek nodded. "I think we can even stagger the crop. So that we can produce them most times of the year."

"Good. Good. And you think you can manage that?"

Obek looked into his father's eyes. "I'm sure I can."

His father nodded. "So, tell me. How will you go about it?"

"Stagger the planting so that the fruit appears between early summer and late autumn."

"Will that produce enough?"

"Can we buy more acreage?"

His father stood up and wandered over to the window. He looked out across his field. "Do you think you can persuade old Tunkin to sell us some of his land?"

"I'm sure I can. And there's something else as well."

"Oh?"

"The extra income we'd gain from being able to produce for more of the year would more than justify buying some greenhouses."  

Obek's father turned back towards him. "Get all of this done, son, and you will be rewarded."   

             

The year passed quickly. Tunkin had agreed at once to sell all of his 150 acres. Obek had offered him a good price and a share of the profits associated with the new land for five years. He had managed to build the greenhouses in time to use them for a winter crop and despite all of the money he had had to find and despite having to pay extra workers to help with the perpetual harvest, they had made three times as much profit this year.

Obek's father had decided to arrange a ball to celebrate. Obek found himself dancing with one of the most beautiful girls in the neighbourhood. He was annoyed when his father tapped him on the back. "We need to talk." He bowed to Penni. "Please excuse us. My son will rejoin you presently."

"Couldn't this have waited?" demanded Obek once they were inside his father's study.

"No. Business must always come before pleasure." He laughed. "Don't look so glum. That's only because then the pleasure is even greater."

Obek shrugged. Could it really be that important? He'd worked so hard, hadn't he? Didn't he deserve some relaxation? Besides, he was really making progress with Penni. He was sure they would become lovers very soon, and perhaps even more. He sighed. "Well what is it?"

"I want you to take over the clementine business completely. I wanted to discuss it with you now so that if you agree I can make an announcement tonight."

"You mean be totally in control? Make all the decisions on my own?"

His father nodded. "Even how to spend the profits. A word to the wise, there, though. Yes, you should pay yourself well and in the future you may have a family to consider as well, but at the rate this is all going, the clementine orchards will make so much money that you won't know what to do with it. Some, of course, will be invested back into the enterprise, but you must think how to use the rest responsibly. We'll discuss this again in a year's time. Well, are you up for it?"

Obek nodded enthusiastically.

"Good. Now I suggest also you just get on with it." He grinned at Obek. "And go on. Ask the girl."

Two announcements were made later that evening: that Obek was to take over completely the running of the clementine orchards and that he was engaged to the lovely Penni Mendat.   

 

"Why are you looking so worried? I'm fine. The baby's fine. Do you want to feel him kick?" Penni took Obek's hand and placed it on her belly.

The baby obliged. Yes, it did seem like a boy. He was certainly very strong. Obek smiled at his wife and then drew her into an embrace.

"There that's better," she whispered.

Oh, he wanted her so much. The huge belly did not put him off at all. If anything he found it arousing. Then he remembered. He pulled away from her. Yes, he was so lucky to have her in his life and soon there would be a child as well. Might he soon lose all means of supporting them? Would his father take the clementine project away if he couldn't find an answer to that question he'd asked a year ago?

"Oh, come on tell me." She rubbed his arm.

Obek sighed. "I've got to find a good use for all of the profit we're making."

"I take it we are still making a good profit?"

"Oh yes." It was good. It was unbelievably good. The project was just growing and growing.

"Well then. Stop worrying. You'll think of something. Maybe take on a new enterprise. One that is good for everyone." She stepped forward and kissed him. She stroked his cheek. "You look so tired sweetheart. You should go and get some rest."

Obek nodded. That wasn't a bad idea.

He found a pleasant spot in one of the orchards that wasn't being worked today. There was already a hammock strung between two of the trees. He climbed into it and shut his eyes. The sun was making the almost ripe clementines release their scent. The bees buzzed and a gentle breeze cooled him pleasantly. It was all very soothing and gradually his eyes closed.   

Something stirred Obek from his nap. There was a crick in his neck and he couldn't work out where he was at first. Then he gradually remembered going to the orchard. Some half-formed dreams came back to him. There were people in fine clothes, grand buildings and more and more clementines. Everyone was going about their business so purposefully. There was excellence and perfection here.

He was aware of a voice calling him. "Master Obek, Master Obek. Come quickly." It was his former nanny, Silvana. They'd reengaged her to help look after the new child.

He jumped from the hammock and ran towards the old lady. "What is it?"

"It's the baby. The baby's on its way."

Nothing else mattered now. Please let this baby be all right. He was arriving three weeks early.

They both hurried back to the house. 

 

"I don't think he is premature, you know," said the doctor. "If anything, I think he's a month overdue. Look at his hair and fingernails."

Penni smiled at Obek. He understood exactly what she meant. Young Tomik must have been conceived the very first time they'd made love, when the pressure of the wedding arrangements had become too much and they could contain themselves no longer. Not during the honeymoon as everyone had assumed.

"Anyway, there is no need for you to be transferred to the hospital. Everything is fine."

"Just as well," said Silvana, sniffing. "We always managed without hospitals in my day. Nasty places. Full of germs." She frowned and stared at Penni. "That was very quick for a first time. Are you sure you're not hiding anything young lady?"

Penni blushed.

"Silvana!" Obek tried to sound cross but he really wanted to laugh.

"Now then," said the doctor. "There's no reason why a healthy young woman shouldn't give birth easily. It's more natural really." He patted Penni's shoulder. "Well done, you."

Obek gazed at his son and wife. They were perfect. Then it became clear to him what he must do. He would set up an institution, an order, perhaps, that would enable others to gain this sort of excellence.

Penni touched his arm lightly. "What are you thinking?"

"That I know exactly what to do with the clementine profits."

"Tell me."

So he started to outline his plans whilst she fed the baby. He realised after a while that his son had stopped sucking and that Penni was snoring gently. He stroked her hair. Poor love. The birth may have only take four hours but it must have been exhausting: Tomik was a big boy.   

About the Peace Child Series:

Book 1 The Prophecy
Kaleem Malkendy is different – and on Terrestra, different is no way to be.
Everything about Kaleem marks him out form the rest: the blond hair and dark skin, the uncomfortable cave where he lives and the fact that he doesn’t know his father. He’s used to unwelcome attention, but even so he’d feel better if some strange old man didn’t keep following him around.
That man introduces himself and begins to explain the Babel Prophecy – and everything in Kaleem’s life changes forever.    
 
Book 2 Babel
Babel is the second part of the Peace Child trilogy. Kaleem has found his father and soon finds the love of his life, Rozia Laurence, but he is still not comfortable with his role as Peace Child. He also has to face some of the less palatable truths about his home planet: it is blighted by the existence of the Z Zone, a place where poorer people live outside of society, and by switch-off, compulsory euthanasia for a healthy but aging population, including his mentor, Razjosh. The Babel Tower still haunts him, but it begins to make sense as he uncovers more of the truth about his past and how it is connected with the problems in the Z Zone. Kaleem knows he can and must make a difference, but at what personal cost?
 
Book 3 The Tower 

Kaleem has given up the love of his life in order to protect her. He now lives and works on Zandra. A sudden landquake, not known on the planet for many years, destroys many of the forests his father has planted to bring life back to the planet. The new relationship Kaleem has helped to establish between the Terrestrans and the Zandrians is also under threat. A third party gets involved and Kaleem has to use all of his diplomatic skills to keep everything on track. Mistakes cost him dearly and he looks set to lose Rozia for a second time. The Babel Tower mystery, others mysteries and sadness plague him. Can he find a way through to fulfil his role as the Peace Child?
 
Find out more here.  
 

Gill James is published by The Red Telephone, Butterfly and Chapeltown.  

She edits CafeLit.

She writes for the online community news magazine: Talking About My Generation

She is a Lecturer in Creative Writing and has an MA in Writing for Children and PhD in Creative and Critical Writing    

http://www.gilljameswriter.com  

https://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B001KMQRKE

https://twitter.com/GillJames

See other episodes: https://www.cafelitmagazine.uk/2022/12/sunday-serial-house-of-celmentine.html   

            

Saturday, 24 December 2022

Saturday Sample: The Best of CafeLit 4


Foreword

It’s a great privilege to be involved in a project like this where I get to read short stories in many forms,
including last year the introduction of the stories in exactly one hundred words which has proved
immensely popular.


At CaféLit we are more liberal in our selection criteria than many short story publishers, seeking
the experimental, the weird and the wonderful as well as the more traditional. As an avid short story
writer, and reader, honing my own writing by reading some of the masters: Alice Munro, George
Saunders, Raymond Carver… and a favourite of  mine Jon McGregor, to name but a handful, I have
come to see the short story as a vital form of prose. In the States the short story collection is often the
first time we meet a new author where debut collections are commonplace, here in the UK publishers place less emphasis on the role of the short story. However I see the short story as the place where stories are born. In my own work short stories have planted the seeds that grew into novels. Short stories taught me what you could do with voice and style and how you could incorporate the contemporary way of living into it, using for example blog posts, Facebook and Twitter to tell
my story The Theory of Circles that was published by Unthank Books and nominated for the Pushcart. I
see it as front line, as a place to break rules and push boundaries. For that reason CaféLit allows
that to happen, with stories from 100 words to 3000. I think story telling begins in the short form
and in our busy lives where we often don’t find the time, short stories allow us to dip in and out and
that is how I see this book. Pick it up, read, put it down. Pick it up later. See where it takes you.
 

My theory of the short story is to write what wants to come and see what is possible in the short form. And that’s why the selection criteria is so wide. If we like it, we choose it. If we really really like it, it also appears here in one of our compilation collections for you to enjoy. But also remember that it’s subjective too, some stories you will like more than others, and sometimes it depends what mood you’re in.


I once heard someone say of Jon McGregor’s short stories that they disturb the surface of everyday
things. I like that. I like that a lot. Let’s hope this little collection will do the same.
Enjoy.
Debz Hobbs-Wyatt
Editor for Cafélit
Published Short Story Writer and Novelist
Winner Bath Short Story Award 2013
www.debzhobbs-wyatt.co.uk


Friday, 23 December 2022

Snoring by Judith Skilleter, whisky mac

Freya and Tim have not been married long. And they are happy enough apart from one problem, Tim snores. Tim snores from when he first falls asleep, usually when his head hits his pillow, until he wakes up. Of course there is an occasional break in his snoring when the snoring itself wakes him up and he has to get back to sleep again, something he usually manages reasonably quickly. As for the snoring it is continual, with both every exhalation and inhalation, and is continually loud and angry and even occasionally explosive.

Freya knew about the snoring issue before they were married. She and Tim had lived together for some time before their wedding but the snoring had not been so much of a problem as Tim then worked on the oil rigs and he was away a lot, two weeks on and two weeks off with other combinations, depending on the oil rig need. Freya therefore used his time away to catch up on her sleep and recharge her batteries.

But now he is permanently at home and Freya has no respite from the noise in the darkness. Every night she tries to get to sleep before the racket starts, sometimes she is successful but more often than not the noise begins before sleep comes her way.  Also there are times when she is comfortably asleep when one of the explosive snores wakes her up and, very often that is it for sleep for the rest of the night.

I have to say that this is a joint concern, Tim is as upset as his wife with the snoring development. Apart from anything else their intimate life has taken a blow. When tearful and exhausted his wife is not keen on love making.

Together they tried all sorts. Nose strips – didn’t work. Things that dissolve in the mouth – didn’t work. New pillows – didn’t work. Anti-snore pillows – didn’t work. Mouth guards – didn’t work. Masks – didn’t work. Hypnotherapy – didn’t work and ear-plugs fell out. Even moving to the spare room didn’t work as Freya could hear the snoring thunder through the walls. A nasal spray didn’t work – it just made Tim sneeze noisily and a throat spray made him cough. Herbal sleeping pills for Freya didn’t work either, but prescription ones did work but she did not like to fill her body with strange chemicals night after night as she hoped to start a family soon. They were soon stopped.

Night after night, or I should say morning after morning, usually about 2 am, Freya would be downstairs drinking warm milk and trying to stem the tears of exhaustion. It was affecting her work and it was noticed that since her marriage her ability to concentrate and take part in office discussions had suffered. Her colleagues thought it a huge joke and imagined Freya and Tim making love from bedtime till the alarm went. “No such luck” mumbled Freya as another unnecessary comment was made in her hearing. (She was having a nap at her desk at the time and woke up just in time to hear what was not meant for her ears)

Christmas was fast approaching and Freya was looking forward to daytime naps in her planned break. She and Tim were staying at home – to rest after a busy few months. Of course, on hearing this, her friends and colleague assumed that she and Tim would be trying to make a baby. “No such luck at this rate” said Freya to herself as she imagined and wished for more than 30 minutes sleep at a time.

Christmas morning came. Tim had two beautifully wrapped small boxes for Freya. The first was a bracelet. Gold and delicate and tasteful and totally gorgeous. Freya loved it and put it on immediately. The second contained very professional looking earplugs, very expensive and very complicated. Not the usual sort where you warm then and squish the plugs into shape so they fit into your ear. These were a fixed shape with a small semi-circular attachment to prevent them falling out overnight. They came in a neat little box and there were two pairs, two earplugs labelled for the left ear and two for the right ear. Both Freya and Tim were impressed by this attention to detail – and ear shape.

“We can only give them a decent go” said Tim. Freya nodded, dubious but determined and willing to give these two strange shaped plugs her best shot.

Bed time came and Tim said he wanted to be the earplug manager. He would put them in. All she had to do was tell him if they were comfortable – or otherwise. They were OK and they had a thumbs up from Freya. Oddly Freya and Tim found this ritual both amusing and serious. They felt a lot depended on those two small objects.

Freya settled down and when she woke next it was 6am – she needed a pee. She could not believe she had slept seven hours without the need to go to the spare room, go downstairs for a warm drink or scream at Tim. She took out an ear plug and there it was, the loud and rhythmic racket coming from her husband. She peed and settled down again, with both plugs firmly in place and when she woke up for the second time there was Tim looking down at her with such love and desire.

“Fingers crossed this continues” she said laughing and they fell together with delight and relief.

Nine months later they had a daughter – Martha. A healthy, beautiful little girl and Freya found herself once again up at all hours and looking exhausted because once again she once again was not getting enough sleep. But she didn’t mind one bit. 

About the author

 Judith Skilleter is new to writing fiction after a long career in social work and teaching. Her first children's novel The April Rebellion, has recently been published. Judith is a Geordie, who settled in East Yorkshire forty-five years ago and is married with three grandchildren.  
 
Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Thursday, 22 December 2022

Santa's Phone by Peter Glassborow, mulled wine

 When I was six years old my Mum and Dad decided that they were earning sufficient money that we could all start going away for Christmas, that being summertime in New Zealand. Their choice, that first year, was to head for a seaside camping ground. My Dad had consulted all of his mates to find what he called, ‘A good old fashioned family place’. Finally he decided on a distant camping ground which he booked a space in for two weeks commencing on Christmas Eve. It was a choice that was to prove so successful it was repeated every year after that as my family’s annual pilgrimage. Borrowing a tent and trailer my parents packed it with everything possible, and on Christmas Eve we set off.

            Now in those days I was younger and still a traditional believer and follower in the conservative values. One of these was that Santa Claus leaves presents on Christmas Eve for all good little boys and girls. The problem was we were moving into the camping ground on Christmas Eve, so how would Santa track us down? Should we write a letter? As my brother and I were both at school we could write okay, as long as we had help with the spellings. But would it get through in time? The North Pole was a long way off, and we knew nothing of the postal service apart from the postie passing our house each morning and leaving the little flag up on our mailbox if he left us any mail.

            Mum found out about our concern and told Dad. He got my brother and me together and assured us that he would personally make a phone call to Santa from the camping grounds in sufficient time to divert the sleigh to the correct location. We were impressed by what our Dad was promising us, but were a bit dubious on how it was to be done.

           The journey to the camping ground was a long one back then, lots of motoring along dusty country roads with stops to let the old car cool down what with the unaccustomed load of family, trailer, and camping gear. ‘Soon be there,’ Mum kept promising as the car wound around yet another corner to reveal more hills and sheep, but no sea.

           It was getting towards sunset when we finally arrived. The grounds’ owner had a small weatherboard home with an office sign over his garage. While we kids got out and looked around Mum and Dad went in to pay, Mum warning us not to stray before they disappeared inside the office.

           Looking round we could see that there was a kids’ playground with slides and swings that looked promising, while in an adjacent paddock some kids and parents were having a game of cricket. The sea was only a few minutes’ walk away and it all looked very exciting.

           Mum and Dad came out of the office with the owner who pointed where we were to go. ‘Nearly there, boys,’ Mum said with a laugh as Dad drove to the far end of the grounds and stopped by a peg with ‘47’ on it.

          ‘This it for the next two weeks, kids,’ Dad said, and we all started emptying the car boot and trailer. We assembled the tent and annexes fairly easily- thank goodness we had rehearsed it six times on the front lawn in daylight the day before. Then after a good meal of Mum’s sandwiches and lukewarm tea out of a thermos, two Coleman lanterns were lit and the beds made up.

          My brother and I were to sleep in the annex, a promising adventure in itself with rustly canvas sounds whenever the wind blew. With everything set for the night my parents made their introductions to the neighbouring campers while my brother and I lay on the strange camp beds and whispered together. Our whispering was only about one thing, how would Santa know where to come? Had Dad forgot about making the call?

            Finally my brother plucked up enough courage to climb out of bed and go interrupt Mum and Dad’s, ‘quiet drink with the new neighbours.’ 

           ‘My God! Almost forgot,’ I heard my Dad boom. ‘Get your brother, boy. We’ll soon get this sorted.’

           In the days before cell phones the camping ground was blessed with a single pay phone. It was situated in a red painted phone box under the solitary light. This stayed on all night in the middle of the grounds so that campers could find their way to the ablutions. However this single light did not really illuminate the ground underfoot very well, so there was danger of tripping or stubbing toes. And it certainly did not drive away the really scary shadowy places we had to go through. So armed with a torch and a fist full of small change from Mum’s purse,  Dad led my brother and I in our pyjamas down to the phone,          

            ‘You boys wait out here,’ Dad directed and then he stepped inside the phone box and pulled the door to leaving us to watch through the glass windows. To our surprise he dialled the North Pole without consulting any piece of paper or phone directory. We were impressed, and even more so when he got through straight away, with none of the usual problems that went with making toll calls overseas in those days.

            ‘Hello?’ My Dad had a stentorian voice and it boomed out through the closed door. ‘Hello? Is that the North Pole? I want Santa’s secretary please.’ My brother and I trembled in anticipation and fear. What if Dad got it wrong? What if they did not take sudden changes of address?

            ‘Yes, it’s Mister Parker here, Mister Elf, Mister Steven Parker. Just want Santa to know there’s been a change of location for my boys.’ My dad then gave a long, detailed description of the route we had driven from our home, and where in the camping ground our tent was. By now I could see there were a number of heads popping out of nearby tents and caravans to listen.   

            My dad then gave landing instructions. ‘Should be no problem landing the sleigh on the beach, Mister Elf, plenty of room,’ and he nodded vigorously in response to something Santa’s secretary said. Then he concluded with, ‘And a Merry Christmas to you as well, Mister Elf. Nice talking to you, cheery-bye.’

            Dad hung up the phone and stepped out of the phone box to a scattered round of applause from the nearest tents and caravans. My brother and I were a bit surprised by the applause, why were they doing that? Dad just grinned and led us back to the tent. ‘All sorted, boys,’ he told us on the way, ‘Santa will definitely be here tonight.’

            Later, tucked up again in our camp beds, we heard several men pop in to introduce themselves to Dad and congratulate him on his phone call. ‘Clever idea, mate. Might try it myself next year,’ one said. It pleased me that my Dad had thought of it, which meant next year the other kids in the camping ground would not miss out on their presents either.

            Of course there were the presents in the morning, just inside the flap of the annex where Santa had left them. Other kids had got their presents as well, and I wondered how Santa had known about where they were sleeping?

            The phone call to Santa by Dad was repeated every year after that. His idea was copied by other dads to the extent that the camping ground owner had to draw up a roster for the phone’s use on Christmas Eve to fit everybody in, otherwise some phone calls to Santa would not get made until after midnight. 

            That first holiday was a great success, and our family decided they would go to the camping grounds every year. After a few more years we got our own tent and other camping gear, and a trailer to carry it all, and we became very sophisticated campers. We were the first to bring a TV for instance.

            Dad stopped making the calls to Santa once we got old enough to realize what was going on. But my brother and I still liked to go down to the phone box and listen to other dads making the calls, but our Dad’s had still been the best.

           Once I left home I didn’t go on the family holiday every year again until I got married. Then Belinda and I became regular holiday campers meeting up with Mum and Dad there every Christmas. And once we had our daughter, Eve, I became one of those dads making the calls to Santa on Christmas Eve. That gave me more pleasure than I could ever imagine, so at times I think I looked forward to it more than Eve did. I still have vivid memories of her little face pressed up against the glass windows, wide eyed as she watched and listened to me.

           That was all a long time ago of course and cell phones have now made the phone box obsolete, but the camping ground’s new owner has kept it. And even though there are no wires connecting, strangely it still works for those special Christmas Eve calls. Because it is only for special calls it now has a sign on it saying ‘Santa’s phone’, and its use is restricted to calls by parents. That’s to stop big kids ruining the illusion.

            It used to be only Dads made the calls, but times have changed, and brought a lot of solo parenting, so there are mums making calls now.

            I don’t go there over Easter but I am told that then the sign gets changed to one saying ‘Easter Bunny phone’ and its use guarantees delivery of chocolate eggs. Some parents have even been heard using the phone to contact the tooth fairy, and it’s available all year round for that.

           What would make my Dad happiest, if he was still around, is the small plaque screwed to the wall inside the phone box that says it was my Dad who made the first inaugural call all those years ago. The camping ground owner put the plaque there the Christmas after Dad died. I told the story about Santa’s phone at his funeral, standing alongside Dad’s coffin with its draped New Zealand Ensign and his war medals. Most of the people in the church had heard the story before but they all smiled in fond remembrance of my Dad, and his kind ways.

           There’s a clipboard outside Santa’s phone box that you book your time on, ‘Calls restricted to five minutes only please’. I’ve got a call booked early, for seven p.m, this year. Last year I left it late to book and could not get on until nearly midnight. Eve, my daughter, was not amused at the grandkids being up so late.

            It was their first year with us at the camp, and her youngest was just old enough to understand about Santa. I told my daughter she or Mike, her husband, should make the call but she declined. ‘No, Dad,’ she told me, ‘it wouldn’t be Christmas without you on the Santa phone. You always did it best of all the dads when I was a kid.’

          She’s wrong of course, my dad did it best, I just copied him. But I just had to hug her for saying that anyway.

 

About the author 

Peter was born in London but his family emigrated to New Zealand when he was a teenager. In middle age he set out to be published. Now retired Peter enjoys not getting up early to go to work and dreaming up more stories. 

 

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