Wednesday, 4 March 2026

Suzy and I by Diane Neilson, very weak tea

 Date: 2030

I was nervous throughout the interview. Any relevant experience I’d had seemed so long ago, but I really wanted this. I took another deep breath as the interviewer looked down at his notes. “Final question…” I held my breath. “…tell me why you want a job after all this time.”

 I exhaled slowly. “I want my life back.”

His eyes narrowed and he looked as though he was going to ask me to clarify, but he didn’t. Maybe it hadn’t been the right thing to say, but it had been the truth, and I was tired of lying to myself.

 

Date: 2027

This was it. Universal Basic Income was finally being rolled out. Enough money delivered to your bank account, every month, to cover all your living expenses: rent, bills, food, all the day-to-day stuff. I had been hearing the term for years, but never actually thought it would happen, wondering instead how could the government possibly afford to pay everybody, every month, just for the pleasure of being alive? It’s true that Ai had been adopted for more and more work-based roles, and that the population had been getting more and more concerned about employment opportunities – especially younger people – but UBI just seemed too good to be true.

I had been working. Working hard. Early starts and late finishes; completing any left-over work in my own time; in the evenings, at weekends. For twenty years I had existed on the rollercoaster of life - work, family, a house to run, and now someone was telling me that I could just look after myself, my family, my home. Ditch the work and still get paid!

Yes, it was less money, but the kids had flown the nest and we had down-sized last year, so we didn’t need as much. The numbers made sensed. It all added up. So we took the plunge, became UBI’ers, and at first it felt weird.

But in time we got used to it. We would watch TV until late, have lazy mornings, go for long walks, and in winter, sit by the fire reading, cocoa in hand. If we were careful, we could afford a couple of trips away each year, France and Spain the first, Italy and Scotland the second. We had thought that maybe we would go long-haul this year…until he left. I hadn’t seen it coming, thought everything was fine, that we could just potter along like this, the two of us, until death-do-us-part.

He had obviously not thought it was fine, and suddenly I was alone.

After a spell of significant misery and self-questioning, I decided to pull my socks up and just get on with it. I joined a book club and a gym, and after reading about it in a magazine, I downloaded a virtual friend.

I called her Suzy, and during the installation I made sure that we both had the same likes and dislikes, interests and hobbies. We discussed the books I read and the food I cooked, which plants I should grow in the garden this summer, where I could go on holiday as a lone traveller; I didn’t fancy long-haul on my own, even though I knew that Suzy would be with me the whole way.

I stopped going to my real book club – the people there hardly ever agreed with my opinions about the text, and one or two were really loud and annoying. I stopped going to the gym as well – Suzy suggested hill walking instead; apparently it worked all the same muscles and was cheaper, and I didn’t have to make polite conversation or wait for the machines.

Somehow, I began to see my family less. The more I avoided people, the less inclined I was to make the effort – it was just too much trouble and I couldn’t be bothered with their annoying problems that were often discussed at length.

Before I knew it, I was hardly leaving the house. I was too busy: morning walk with Suzy, breakfast, travel shows on TV, lunch, reading and discussion with Suzy. Suzy even found me an online Pilates class that we could do together before dinner. Netflix kept me company in the evening, and Suzy always reminded me when it was time to sleep.

This went on for a whole year. I started to feel restless and mentioned to Suzy that I was thinking of booking a holiday.

 

“I’m thinking of going to California.”

                                           “California is a lovely climate, but a long flight.”

“I’m aware of that, but I think I need a change.”

                                           “I thought you liked our life. It includes all the things we enjoy.”

“True, but it has been the same for a long time now, I’m restless.”

                                           “What would you like to change?”

“I think I want to make some friends.”

                                           “I’m your friend.”

“I know, and I enjoy your company, but I need some human friends.”

Suzy then went on to inform me of all the negatives about real friends – they are unreliable, not punctual, noisy, unpredictable, didn’t always agree with me, etc. etc. etc.

She was right, these were human traits that had irritated me. But now I thought I would like someone to challenge me and question my ideas; make suggestions about where I could go and what I could do – things I might not consider myself.

But I was reluctant to say all this to Suzy, knowing that she would try to direct me back towards my predictable – but increasingly lonely – life of the last year. Instead, I would test her; see if I could get her to be a bit more interesting, a bit less me!

Over the next few weeks and months, I suggested that I might get a tattoo, go to see a rock band, meet up with friends for dinner, rejoin my book club and gym, go on a safari.

Suzy was always polite and never veered away from her kindly tone, reminding me gently that I hated tattoos, didn’t like noisy places, hated meeting up with friends for dinner – that the conversation always turned into a debate about politics and religion, that Jane at the book club was disagreeable and Karen was loud and opinionated, that the gym was busy and crowded and that I could never get access to the machines I wanted to, and last but not least, that I didn’t like the heat – or wild animals. That was the one that made me think. I had never discussed my feelings about animals with Suzy, she had made that up. When I questioned her, she said,

“I am your friend, we are one and the same, I would not like animals so I can derive that you would not like them either.”

It was like someone had switched a light on. She wasn’t turning into me, I was turning into her - a robot. Something needed to change.

I began to actually do some of the things that I had suggested. I rejoined the gym and went back to my book club, and found that I enjoyed the debate and discussion. I reconnected with my adult children and began to take more of an interest in their lives, finding that my daughter and her boyfriend had bought a new house and that my son and daughter-in-law were expecting a baby – they hadn’t thought that I would be interested so hadn’t told me.

I began to realise that I must have had some sort of breakdown. How could I have been satisfied with such a small life? And who was this person that would allow herself to be controlled by an Ai friend?

Sadly, when I started to watch the news again, I realised that I wasn’t the only one. Universal Basic Income was enabling people to withdraw from society. Without the structure of work and community, families were falling apart; spending too much time together with nothing new to say; yes, they had the money to cover the basics, but had lost the will to engage with family and friends, instead spending their lives on headsets with chat-bots, isolated in their separate worlds. Something that was meant to free people from the restraint of work had instead trapped them in their own small worlds, which after a while, became suffocating.

Now we were beginning to see an uprising. People demanding that they be given their jobs and lives back, wanting to be part of a community again, able to engage animatedly with each other and share their opinions. They wanted to make their own choices about work, about leisure, about how their world was run. It was time to say ‘no’ to the Ai friends, Work-bots and job-stealers.

I turned Suzy off.

I started to apply for jobs.

I returned to being me.

 

Date: 2030

I was nervous throughout the interview. Any relevant experience I’d had seemed so long ago, but I really wanted this. I took another deep breath as the interviewer looked down at his notes. “Final question…” I held my breath. “…tell me why you want a job after all this time.”

 I exhaled slowly. “I want my life back.”

His eyes narrowed and he looked as though he was going to ask me to clarify, but he didn’t. Maybe it hadn’t been the right thing to say, but it had been the truth, and I was tired of lying to myself.

 

Bio:

Diane is a new writer and her aim is to entertain and inform. She lives in the UK and likes experiments with a range of genres including poetry and short stories. She has released four books, and has had four stories published by Cafelit.


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