When Deidre crossed Broadway against the traffic and stepped on the curb, cellphone in hand, it was a transformative, albeit confusing moment, where the choice for Henry was to stare with stunned amazement or suddenly perform surrealist-influenced performance art.
She was a good kid until she chose to manipulate and triangulate, until she was trapped in a corner, like a cheap 1950s wind-up doll, her face and feet buzzing in the air, until it stopped and fell to the floor.
That is Deidre now. Full of rage and somewhat settled identity despite the current persona that may work in Brooklyn, and a few other places, but nowhere else.
Henry fully understood that. He was young once, too. Deidre has a few years left to realize that whatever you think you are on the outside is just a uniform, not a persona. She also didn’t learn the lesson Henry did: that ‘you’re not as smart as you think you are’ either. He hoped she would, but likely won’t.
Henry continued his walk, maintaining his usual pace. He always walked faster than most pedestrians. Even so, he kept his head on a swivel. He hadn’t seen Deidre in years, and kept his head on a swivel just in case the rage she carried was today heavier than overstuffed carry-on luggage.
Behind sunglasses to protect from early-stage glaucoma and just to hide his mood and potential movements from others, he confidently believed he was safe. This came from reading Catch-22 as a young teenager, and the “Yosserian, jump!” He did, and fled to Sweden.
This novel ending stuck with him, and Henry had acted accordingly since.
He shifted over to his left, while Deidre remained half a block ahead. Moments later, she vanished into the crowd.
Henry continued walking and later entered a bookstore. He had to jump this time. Until another moment like this comes along, because there will always be another time.
While browsing the carts the staff used to shelve the recent acquisitions, Henry remembered what a long-dead ex-girlfriend said to him more than 30 years ago. “After I die, I will haunt you.” It stuck with him, and ever since, he has had several Yossarian jumps.
He regretted not breaking up with her after that lunacy. Instead, they got married and had Deidre.
Henry found a book he had been looking for and continued browsing.
About the author
Mike Lee's work appears in or is forthcoming in Blood+Honey, Bristol Noir, Roi Faineant, Wallstrait, BULL, Drunk Monkeys, and many others. Also is in the latest CafeLit anthology.
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