Tuesday, 20 December 2011

The European Gap Year Traveller

Charlie Britten
 
Espresso

 
 
 
From:  George
To:       ‘Auntie Angela’
 
I'm fine.  Honestly, I'm fine.  I wish you'd stop worrying about me.  Yes, I got your text.  And was it necessary to ring me at 10am?  I mean, you woke up everyone in the place where I was staying, which, btw, is not a Youth Hostel.
 
Also, would you please stop asking me about what you call ‘my financial situation’?  Everything is about money with you.  I think I'm managing fine.  Okay, my credit card’s maxed out, but so is everybody else’s.  It’s not my fault the bank insisted on giving me credit, is it?  Another thing.  I didn't like that bit in your last email about people here retiring at fifty-four.  Where did you get that from?  The Daily Mail?  You don't appreciate that it’s different out here.   
 
Having awesome time.  Country really beautiful.  Last night we sat at the bar, watching the red streaks of the sun sink over the horizon.  Then we saw it come up again several hours later as a white ball of light, while we were still sitting there.  Some things are more important than money.
 
George
 
PS Just got your last text, about Uncle Silvio.  He’s well embarrassing.  Tbh, you should be more worried about how he spends his money.
.................................................................................................................
From:  George
To:       ‘Auntie Angela’
 
P-uh-l-ease, could you not start on about Christmas yet? I don't know when I'm going to arrive.  I suppose it’s going to be the usual crowd.  Can you deal with the present thing and I'll pay you back.  Don't worry about Uncle David saying he won't come this year.  It’s what he always says, but he’s never missed yet, has he?  And he always pays his whack in the end, more than some of the other relatives.  Don't put pressure on him.  He doesn't have to come.  I mean, he’s not part of the immediate family, and he can be very annoying, so right-wing. 
 
Generally, can you lighten up on this family thing?  You keep saying we should all see more of each other and do more things together, but I don't know. 
 
I'm fine, Auntie Angela.  Honestly, I'm fine.
 
George
 
............................................................................................................................
From:  George
To:       ‘Auntie Angela’
 
I'm not fine.  Send me several billion, Auntie Angela, please.  As soon as possible, I beg you.  By Western Union, because the banks are all messed up out here.  And don’t get me on the subject of bankers, p-uh-l-ease.
 
Look, I know the whole family’s in the shit money-wise, except for you, my favourite Auntie Angela.  But remember that I asked you first, because, from what I hear, you’ll get more requests for money soon.  Hope you kept receipt for Uncle David’s pressie, seeing as he’s now off the Christmas card list.
 
Can't wait to see you.  Have you made the stollen yet?  Haven’t eaten proper meal in ages.
 
George

*************************************************************************************
Bio

Charlie Britten lives in southern England with her husband and cat.  She writes because she enjoys it and has had her work published in ‘FictionAtWork’, ‘Mslexia’, ‘Long Short Story’, ‘Linnet’s Wings’ and Radgepacket.  Charlie's blog is Lives to Write. Chalrie would love to write to live.  In real life, she is a lecturer in IT at a college of further education.

No comments:

Post a comment