Showing posts with label Robert Ferguson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Robert Ferguson. Show all posts

Monday, 17 September 2018

Lost Property

By Robert Ferguson

A very, very weak tea

 “No, Mr. Dawson, we’ve no patient registered here in that name. Can I be of any further assistance?”
          “No…er, no, thank you.”
So that was the last of the three local hospitals, and still nothing. Perhaps there had been an incident in London? Google again, list the enquiry numbers. Pick up the ‘phone. Getting a bit agitated now. After all, it has been forty-eight hours. The policeman said I should hear something within forty-eight hours, but I haven’t.

Eighth call later.
          “No, Mr. Dawson, we’ve no patient registered here by that name. Do hope you get some news soon. Goodbye.”
And the ninth, and the tenth.
  
I must call the police station again when I get a minute. Oh, this is all taking such a lot of time! And I must get on with that research old Baxter wanted by this evening. And then … oh, dear. I suppose I must ’phone Amanda, but I can’t do that until this evening because she’ll be at work too, so…
          “Oh, yes, George, immediately. I’ll just gather up my papers and come right along.”

  “Good morning, sergeant. I telephoned on Saturday evening. My name is Dawson. Yes, about my wife. Well, she wasn’t here….well, 46 Ockham Road, … FE14 5BY…. 07367 149 453…well, she wasn’t here when I got home on Saturday evening, and you said …yes, well, a colleague of yours said, give it forty-eight hours, and I have, and that was yesterday evening, but now it’s Tuesday and I’ve telephoned all the local hospitals and all the inner London hospitals … yes, I told you…your colleague, she was going up to London on Saturday to meet our daughter…well, I haven’t actually telephoned her yet….well, it’s a bit difficult, actually, well, we don’t have much to say to each other, you see…well, all right, if I must…yes, I do see your point sergeant. And I’ll telephone you again when I’ve spoken …yes, thank you, thank you.”

“Amanda, it’s your father…Yes, well, I know you know it is…Well, I’m … that is, … I’m sorry to bother you, but I need to ask you, … did you and your mother enjoy your day on Saturday? … Amanda? Are you there, Amanda? … Well, I’m asking you because…well, I can’t ask your mother…She isn’t here…Well, if I knew that, I wouldn’t be calling you, would I?... No, of course she hasn’t left me … I simply don’t know where she is…She wasn’t here when I got back after last week… At a conference in Scarborough, of course. …Yes, a business conference…Yes, I know there are a lot of them. There always have been a lot of them. It’s what’s …Amanda, you know it’s what I do. It’s what I’ve always done. It’s how I put clothes on your backs, you and your mother, and food in your bellies…Well, I did, when you were still at home… No! Why should I change jobs? How could I, after all these years?...Look, Amanda, it’s not me who’s not here, it’s your mother. Did she say anything when you met in London on Saturday?...Whatever do you mean, Amanda?... Well, that’s what she told me…Not for how long?...Well, has she telephoned you, or written to you? …No, I know I haven’t either, but you’re a grown woman now, Amanda, with your own work and your own career. I presumed you didn’t want to be bothered with a constant stream of…Look, Amanda, I didn’t telephone you for another row. I’ve got enough trouble at the office…All right, just, if you do hear from her, tell her to ‘phone me…Of course I’m…concerned, but its a particularly busy time at the moment…Yes, I agree, I’m sure she’s all right, it’s just I’d like to know where she is, and what she thinks she’s doing, not being here when I expected her to be. How am I supposed to look after her if I don’t know where she is?...Of course she needs looking after. How is she going to eat? Where’s she going to sleep?...Amanda, don’t take that tone to me again! She has no income, and…Well, as a matter of fact, no, I haven’t checked her wardrobe. No, nor her drawers. I wouldn’t know, anyway, if anything were missing. Why should I? Why should it be? …I really don’t suppose anyone would bother to kidnap your mother, Amanda. Why ever would they? That’s one of the most stupid….All right, I’m sorry, no, don’t hang up, Amanda, I withdraw stupid. Yes, unreservedly. I’m a bit stressed at the office, that’s all…Well, all right, I suppose… I mean, she was just as usual, before the Scarborough trip…Well, we didn’t have long conversations, you know that, Amanda…Now that’s not fair, Amanda. Of course we spoke! We were always … well, when you’ve been married as long as we have…Amanda, I’m your father. A little respect wouldn’t come amiss, Amanda. Amanda? Am…”

I left my brief-case on a train on one occasion. This situation has reminded me of that. A feeling of being ashamed for my carelessness, irritated by having to chase it round the lost property system, and embarrassed to have to admit that I’d lost it. Now, I appear to have misplaced my wife. However much time am I going to have to spend chasing her, wherever she’s got to? I really do have so many more pressing things to do!

“Is that Rosamund? This is Beddy…Bedford…Bedford Dawson, Constance’s husband…No, it is not a scam call, I’m your brother-in-law! Are you…Yes, Beddy…Oh, good…yes, it has been ages, hasn’t it? The thing is, Rosamund, I’m not quite sure how to say this, but…I mean, well, have you seen Constance recently?...Nor spoken to her, I suppose?...No, well, it was quite a row, wasn’t it? But then, you and she…No, no, Rosamund, I wasn’t criticising.  No, nor taking sides. Rosamund, I just need to know, have you…has she…Well, that’s pretty clear, I suppose. OK, thank you, Rosamund…Oh, regards to …er…your husband, by the way…Yes, Edward, of course…Oh. When did you break up?...Oh, Nigel, then. Yes, I’ll try to …no, I don’t suppose there is, unless we are likely to meet in the foreseeable…well, perhaps we might?...Goodbye, Rosamund, nice talking to…” Oh.   

“Good evening, sergeant. I telephoned on Saturday evening, and then again on Tuesday. My name is Dawson. Yes, about my wife. Well, she hasn’t, that is to say, I still haven’t seen her….yes, that’s right, 46 Ockham Road, … Well, I wouldn’t say missing, Sergeant. She just isn’t here, and now it’s been a week, and…Constance Dawson, Sergeant…she’s 46…about five feet two, I suppose…I’ve no idea what she weighs, Sergeant. She’s quite slim…Fair hair, sort of medium-ish, between short and long, I suppose…Yes, I’d say she was reasonably attractive. Everyone seemed to think so, years ago, when we were married…17 years, sergeant, just after the Millennium…The last time I saw her she was wearing her nightdress and housecoat. It was breakfast time, and I was rushing to catch my train to…No, of course she wouldn’t go out like that, but how she dressed that day, when she did dress, I’ve no idea. How could I? Why should I?...Yes, I’m sorry, sergeant, I do understand you have to ask…No, my daughter hasn’t seen her or heard from her, apparently, or my sister-in-law. In fact, I had thought she was having a day in London on Saturday with my daughter, but apparently that wasn’t so…Well, its what she told me they were doing. I mean, if people don’t tell you what they’re doing, what they’re thinking, how on earth can anyone know where they stand, sergeant?...Yes, I do understand that, sergeant. Yes, indeed she’s a grown woman, but she’s my wife, for goodness sake. Surely she can’t just swan off without a word?…Well, I have to say, sergeant, I think that’s carrying the idea of personal freedom rather far…Yes, I do see that, too, sergeant. Well, if there really is no more you can do than note her details…No, no, no, I couldn’t possibly afford a private detective…Salvation Army? Well, we’ve neither of us ever been religious, sergeant…I suppose so, if they’re that efficient at finding people, but I think that’s a bit of a last resort for people like us, and it’s only been a week, so far. I’ll give it a little longer before that, I think, sergeant, and see what happens…Yes, thank you very much, sergeant, you’ve been very helpful, as far as you can be. Thank you. Goodbye.”

“Dawson…Oh, good morning, Deborah…The office Christmas lunch? Is it that time already? Well, I think, this year, I’ll give it a … oh, does he? The whole crew? Sort of three-line whip, as you might…? Yes, well, in that case, you’d better put me down…No, Mrs. Dawson won’t be…No, she hasn’t been…Well, there we are, these things happen…No, just me, Deborah, and give Mr. Blakely my wife’s apologies…Thank you. Goodbye, good bye.”

I suppose I’ve adjusted quite well, actually. Hadn’t really noticed. Oh, well, on we go. Now, I must sort out the travel arrangements for the regional meeting at Bognor next week….



Wednesday, 12 September 2018

The Frog Prince

By Robert Ferguson

Turkish coffee

 Eleanor straightened her back to enjoy a moment of relaxation. She moved her feet carefully in the mud. So easy to slip and fall into the edge of the river, or to kick over the bucket in which she had carefully gathered the poor frogs she had spent the last hour collecting.
“Are they running?” the voice asked from the other side of the river. She jerked around and almost lost her footing, then relaxed. He didn’t seem to be a threat, and anyway, they were separated by the river.
“They have been. There seems to be a pause, for a few minutes at least, but they’re on their way,” she said.
“How long have you been here?” he asked, in a pleasant voice. Sophisticated, but gentle, with a touch of the local vowel-sounds underlying his standard English accent.
“Since about 5.30,” she answered, moving carefully out of the river and up the slippery bank on her side.
“Can I join you?” he asked politely.
“Sure,” she said. “You can take this bucketful over the bridge, if you like, and set them loose on the other side opposite their crossing point, so they can get on their way.”

He waved one hand, and set off to her left towards the timber bridge a hundred yards up the river. He wasn’t tall, just a few inches taller than her five-feet four, with carelessly cut but neat, slightly sandy hair, and “country clothes”, rubber boots, jeans and a plaid woollen shirt open at the neck. He walked well, too, she saw, a straight back, head up, and relaxed, but with a pace that covered the ground economically. He was soon with her, and took her plastic bucket, smiled at her gently, and set off again for the bridge, as she reached for her second bucket in readiness for the next run.

By nine o’clock, they had probably helped a hundred frogs across the river, watching them hop off on their journeys back to their summer spawning lakes below Endham Wood.
“That’s all I can manage this morning,” Eleanor said. He had said almost nothing in the two hours they had worked together, just got on with the walk backwards and forwards over the bridge, carrying her buckets. He was certainly a change from most men who met a girl in the middle of nowhere and felt they had to impress her, and begin the social hunt.
“Tomorrow morning?” he asked, un-preditarily.
“Probably,” she said. “You?”
That had slipped out before she had thought to stop it. She hoped he wouldn’t take it as a sign of interest, much less an invitation.
“I could be, I guess,” he replied, “if that’s ok with you.”
“Sure,” she said, tone as flat as she could get it. ”Whatever.”
Picking up her emptied buckets, she walked off down the riverside path. We’ll see, she thought, we’ll see. But it has been nice to have somebody else here this morning.

*                      *                      *

Almost back to where he’d parked the car, he sent the required text. “Contact”, it said. Nothing more. He deleted the message from the call-log, and dumped the ‘phone in the parking area rubbish bin. He’d get another one in town later that morning.

*                      *                      *

The knock on the door had been quiet but firm.
“Come in,” the Chief Inspector called.
“Detective Sergeant Manthorpe, Sir,” the young man said.
“Hm,” said the Chief Inspector. “Sit down, Son. Welcome back to the homeland, eh?” 
“Thank you, Sir,” said the other, sitting in the upright chair in front of the DCI’s desk.
 “Know what this is all about?” the Chief Inspector asked.
“No, Sir.”
“Well, that‘s good thing, anyway,” said the Chief Inspector. “Done rural undercover before, have you?” knowing that the young man had not, but wanting to see the level of confidence – or cockiness – the Sergeant would show.
“No, Sir, but I was brought up down here, and haven’t completely forgotten about country ways.”
“People notice strangers, round here,” the DCI ruminated, reaching down to pull his pipe out of his top desk-drawer so as to have something to fiddle with, even though he was no longer allowed to smoke it in the office.
“Yes, Sir,” the young man responded. “Any undercover job will need a slow start down here, and a good strong legend for a stranger.”
“No-one to remember you from your childhood?” the Chief Inspector asked.
“Unlikely in the South of the County, Sir, after all these years. Virtually certain not to be in the North.”
“Well, it’s to the North you’ll be going, to begin with, at least.”
The Chief Inspector had made up his mind.
“OK, Son,” he said, “take the file” – he pulled it out from beneath the one he had been reading – “not to go out of the building, of course, but read it and come back tomorrow, nine o’clock sharp, and tell me your entrance strategy, and foreseeable snags. If we’re both happy, you can draw cash and comms., and get started tomorrow afternoon.”

*                      *                      *

Despite Eleanor’s growing interest, it was ten days before the riverside relationship stepped forward – if it was going to be a relationship. He was so nice! Polite, respectful, powerful in his reticence, and clearly reliable. He turned up where and when he said he would do. The run by the bridge had dried up after a couple more days, so she had suggested they moved on to the one at Hanger Lane. “Sure,” he said. “Whatever.” Did he ever say much more than that?
At the end of another day at Hanger Lane, he finally told her his name.
“Michael, by the way,” he said as they parted.
“Eleanor,” she responded,
and they walked off separately and silently to their respective breakfasts. But all the way home, all she could think was, “Michael, Michael, Michael.”

It was a few days later that he finally asked her out.
“Drink tonight, maybe,” he said, with his gentle smile, “if you’re free and would like to?”
“Thank you,” she said, almost gulping over the words.
After that, they spent increasing amounts of time together. When the frogs’ seasonal migration had passed, they no longer met in the early mornings. Mostly, they went walking and bird watching around the country in the evenings, when their respective days’ work was done – whatever his was. He remained vague about that.
         “I’m a wages clerk,” was all he said, and she assumed he worked in one of the factories in the nearby city.

It was a couple of months before she mentioned him to the Group.
“I’ve met a possible recruit,” she said, slightly shyly. “He seems all right, and perhaps useful to us. He knows the countryside, loves the birds and animals. He’s strong, and he’s quiet. Won’t be gabbing all over the place.”
“We’ll need to vet him, of course,” said Paul, their almost self-appointed leader. “Stay on for a minute after the meeting and fill me in, will you? You haven’t mentioned the Group to him, have you?”
“No, of course not!” said Eleanor, firmly. ”I do know better than that!”

The meeting broke up half an hour later, and Eleanor’s orderly mind was ready to tell Paul everything she knew about her Michael.
“Well, that’s not a lot, is it?“ Paul said, when she had finished. “Where’s he come from, where’s he work – precisely? Where’d he work before that? Are you soft on him, and, if so, how soft? If necessary, would you give him up for the Group?”
Eleanor put every nerve and muscle into not reacting at the mention of this possibility.
“Of course,” she said. “Our work is more important to me than anything else. You know that, Paul, after these last four years.”
“OK, leave it with me,” Paul said, eventually. “Don’t mention him again, to anyone, not even in the Group.”
“Fine,” she said.
She seemed to have been saying nothing else all evening, but it was fine. The Group’s work was indeed her priority. She supposed.

*                      *                      *

His second report caused more of a flurry of attention than the first one had done. “Tailed,” it said. Again, the message was deleted and the ‘phone thrown away immediately after it had been used. The sender drove pensively back to his recently rented apartment, taking care not to lose his tail, even by accident, in the going-home evening traffic.

*                      *                      *

At the meeting of the Group three months later, Paul congratulated them on the success of their recent operation, introduced their new member, Michael, and told them that, for a while, they’d be sticking to demos,
“Until the fuss about our last operation has died down. So, in three week’s time, we need a full attendance outside the pig farm beside the A578. Meet the vans on Hershaw Street at eight a.m. Drivers will be John and Nick. Michael, do you have a vehicle we can use?”
“Yes, I can get eight in my van,” Michael said, “as long as there isn’t too much gear to get in as well.”
“OK,” said Paul, “I’ll brief drivers and allocate passengers here, the evening before. Anyone else got anything else?”

Michael and Eleanor walked back together to Michael’s Land Rover after the meeting. Neither spoke, but Eleanor was the happiest girl in the world with his strong arm around her in the dark.

At the beginning of March, Paul finally told them that the next operation was ready.
“Right. This is the big one,” he said.” We’re going to hit an unregistered dog-breeder out towards Cadister. We’ll release the dogs and burn out the pens so it will cost them too much to get back into business too quickly.” There were subdued hurrahs from the Group. “Unregistered the breeders may be, and they do sell pups to homes, but most of the little so-and-so’s go to the laboratories at the teaching hospital in the city, and to that skyscraper of Great Pharma in Milchester. A couple of us have followed their van on deliveries, packed to the gunnels with dogs. I’ll tell you the layout and the tactical plan, here, on Friday week. Usual time. That’s it, for now, then. Many thanks.”

*                      *                      *

At last, the text said, “Target”, Finally, the ‘phone, wrapped in plastic and buried in the garden, could be unearthed. Hiring a car at the other end of the city, the sender drove out to receive the message which would tell him when, where and how to report the details.

*                      *                      *

The Chief Inspector was greatly relieved to get the message. To receive his Sergeant’s report, the DCI made a special trip into the next-door county, and booked into a busy seaside hotel, taking his wife for cover.
“You go shopping, dear, and don’t come back before three this afternoon. Have a nice bit of lunch in the town,” he told his wife, pushing a bundle of notes into her handbag.
She knew that meant that they weren’t here just for a mid-week break. But this wasn’t the first such trip they had made since he was promoted to DCI, so she knew better than to express anything more than gratitude for the meals she hadn’t had to cook for a couple of days.

The code was tapped on the DCI’s hotel-room door.
“All right, Son?”, the DCI greeted him. “Let’s get down to it.”
Within the hour, it was clear that they would need a lot of officers for this operation. They’d also need as many vans as possible, to cart the silly kids off securely to the station. They’d need armed officers on call as well, of course, even though there was no sign as yet that the Group had access to weapons. But you never knew.

*                      *                      *

Overall, the operation went well for the police, though there were a few hairy moments. The Group debussed a mile West of the target and crept up on it, mostly silently, through the woods, with minimal disturbance of the game. Praise be, too, they managed it without stepping on any of the police officers lying increasingly damply in the long grass and under the bushes between the trees. At the outer chain-link fence, there was inevitably a little noise as the bolt-cutters did their work, but the severed fences were prevented from springing back noisily by the Group-members allocated to those tasks. The direction of the attack had been chosen carefully, so that such wind as there was would blow into the faces of the Group, and ensure that their scent would not reach the dogs inside the compound until the last possible moment. So far so good for both sides, as the policemen behind the attackers silently got to their feet and flexed the muscles cramped by their day-long wait.

Then everything speeded up, suddenly. As the attackers’ bolt-cutters chopped open the padlocks on the dog-filled inner compounds, the dogs set up a deafening chaos of sound from within, and the backdoor of the farmhouse was opened from inside by a man carrying a shotgun. Dogs poured out of the compounds into the countryside, the DCI called the word.  Lights filled the woodland behind the attackers like the rising of a blindingly low sun. The man in the doorway raised his gun, and someone among the attackers swung a canister of fire at the kitchen-window of the house. “Armed police”, shouted the DCI, a cry every officer in the field took up whether it was the truth or not, as they knotted their identifying white cotton strips around their left arms. The shotgun must not be discharged. The shouts worked, and the gun was thrown down promptly. But there was a fire raging inside the farmhouse kitchen.

Figures were running every which way across the white lights.
“My wife, my wife,” bawled the man at the backdoor, “she’s in there!”
 “No, she ain’t,” came a female voice from the corner of the house. “I come out the front with the other gun, and I’ll ‘ave one of they varmints if I get ‘alf a chance.”
The DCI went forward at a quick, authoritative, walk, shouting his police identification, and gently took the weapon from the woman’s hands before she could add to the danger that already existed in the situation.

Three officers went into the kitchen, and quickly doused the fire. Gradually, fewer and fewer figures could be seen darting across the lights. Within twenty minutes, the uniformed inspector in charge of the cordons came to tell the DCI that, as far as he could tell, his officers had captured as many members of the Group as they were going to get that night.
“Too early, my Son,” was the DCI’s response. “There’ll be a couple of the clever dicks lying doggo in the bushes waiting for us to go home. I want your boys to stay here, and to stay awake,” the last word spoken emphatically, “until an hour after sunup, if you please. Half on, half off, two hours at a time. First off-watch can go down to the station and bring back tea and scoff.”
“Sir,” said the Inspector obediently.
The men wouldn’t like it, but nonetheless he could see it had to be done.

However, it was only possible to tally up the number of Group members who had been arrested when they were brought out from the police vans behind the secured gates of the station yard. In his office, the DCI and his undercover sergeant were watching a CCTV split-screen which showed the scenes in the yard and in the Custody Suite.
“How many are we supposed to have, Son?” the DCI asked.
“Fourteen of us went on the operation, Sir, including myself,” the sergeant replied. “Well, we’ve missed two of them,” said the DCI, “and I’ll bet my pension they’re the
most dangerous of the lot. Who flung the Molotov cocktail bucket, do you suppose?”
“That would have been Paul, the leader, Sir, I’d guess. He was carrying it when he got out of the van and set off into the woods. But that’s not evidence that he threw it, of course. I didn’t see him after they left the vehicles and went into the trees, and I haven’t seen him here, either. We’ll need to break down a couple of the Group, and get definitive statements, in order to be sure for ourselves, and for the Crown Prosecution Service, that it was Paul. If he ever turns up again.”
The DCI grunted disconsolately. It hadn’t been a bad night, but it could still have been much, much better.

Eleanor was no longer Eleanor. She was a damp, grizzling mess curled up on the floor in the corner of a police cell. She had been deteriorating into that condition ever since she saw the bucket of fire fly through the farmhouse window. She had been horrified. That wasn’t what she had foreseen when she joined the Group. Then the lights had gone on, she was knocked down violently, picked up and carried, and literally thrown onto the floor of a van. And now, for the first time in her life, she was in a police station cell. Under interrogation, she had at first obeyed Paul’s standing instruction to say no more than, “No comment” to whatever she was asked. Soon, however, between bouts of sniffling, she gave them as much information as she had.

But where was Michael? Where was his calmness? Where was hope? There was none without Michael. As she realised this, she collapsed further and further beyond the reality of the world to become no more than a quivering, occasionally sobbing, muddy, barely-conscious blob, curled up half-under the hard, unforgiving, concrete bench.

About the author

Robert Ferguson has published a collection of poetry (“Late Starter”, available through www.latestarterpoems.com), contributions to quarterly anthologies, and several short stories on CafeLit. He has recently completed the first draft of a novel.

Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Family Life


by Robert Ferguson

a bowl of cream


I am grateful that my family life does not include other humans; just John and Francine and me. John and Francine are tabby cats. John is sleek and short-haired, and Francine longer-haired and fluffy, as befits her extreme femininity. John is brushed when he will permit it, which is usually when, through jealousy, he demands a brushing when he sees Francine receiving her daily beauty treatment. But Francine needs and enjoys a good brushing every day, to keep her luxurious fur from becoming tangled in knots. She hates these being combed out and proves it with her sharp teeth, but stays on my lap and continues to purr throughout the process, so her nips are only an expression of her requirement for consideration. We all need consideration, don’t we? That seems to me to be the essential foundation of interpersonal relationships, especially in the family home.

Both John and Francine are rescue cats, who have known hard times. Both adopted me, one after another at a very short interval, three years ago. Each appeared at the back door to my ground-floor flat in a quiet Fulham backstreet, when September was passing into October and the evenings were becoming unseasonably cold and wet. Francine came first (named for my dear mother), mewling gently for an invitation, which of course I was happy to extend, opening the door widely despite the chilly air, and waiting until she had made up her hesitant mind to come in. Eventually she entered, with tiny, delicate steps, a little anxiously, not sure whether to trust this tall, thin human. She penetrated no further than the kitchen that first evening, even after a bowl of water and another of tinned salmon (a share of my own supper, of course) had been put down for her on the floor. I left her there at first, going through to my warm, comfortable drawing room and favourite comfortable armchair, and leaving the intervening doors open in case she should decide to explore further after finishing her supper. But no, on that first evening she was too timid to come beyond the kitchen. Instead, she found a place on the shelf above the stove, which was still giving off some warmth after my evening cooking. Not the softest surface for her, but, well, it is uncivilised to impose one’s will on other people, other than for their own safety, or one’s own, I believe. I left her there, though I came to check on her every now and then.

Parents do this with children, I have observed (I have none of my own, I am relieved to say). They ignore the self-evident fact that the child is quite likely to have different preferences and attitudes from those of the parent. I am convinced that such misplaced impositions are the source of much of the disruption, not to say hurt, which is customarily blamed on children in all-human families. It certainly was in the one in which I grew up. My athletic father was constantly exhorting me to catch or kick or run when all I wanted was to be allowed to sit quietly alone with a book. “You’ll get fat”, he said, but I never did, taking my physical as well as my emotional genes from my gentle, elegant, slim mother. But he needed always to justify his own habits and tendencies by requiring me to share them and “Be a man”, which was never a priority for me. The rows we had! My tantrums and my tears, of which I am ashamed, of course, when I look back on them. But that’s families, it seems, or so everyone else I know seems to say.

But to return to my current family. John’s arrival was quite different from Francine’s. I was distracted from my evening book by an unusual rattling and scraping at the backdoor, went through to the kitchen to discover the cause, and, finding nothing to explain the noises, opened the backdoor a crack to look outside. John was in like a rocket! Not waiting to shake off the rain from his coat, or to look for anything but potential obstructions to his entry, he dashed through the hall to the bedroom and dived under my double bed (I do rather enjoy the luxury of the space it provides me, though of course I sleep in it alone – apart, that is, these days, from Francine and John). From his vantage point under the bed, quite out of reach from any angle, John was naturally quite inextricable; so I left him there, returning to the kitchen to lay down a bowl of water and another of the Sheba supper to which Francine had by now taken a fancy. She, having eaten sufficient for her self-judged need, ignored the whole incident, and my provision for our visitor, and remained calmly in the warm armchair which she had occupied, in the military sense, since the evening after her arrival.

That was indeed formerly my favourite chair, but, well, at that stage, I was not sure whether she was yet to be accounted as a resident or still as an honoured guest. There was no question that there were enough chairs for the two of us and more, had anyone else in the world unusually arrived. I take the view firmly that the imposition of power over someone else is a loathsome thing, especially when done for its own sake, to prove nothing but its existence; but, again, I have observed it often in human households, not only between parents and children, purely on the offered – to me, not apparently relevant - evidence of respective age, but sadly also between husband and wife, and between wife and husband in equally sad situations. “Oh, you haven’t invited them again, have you,” one might say disparagingly of partner as well as of as-yet absent friends; or “Just lay the table, darling. I’ll do the rest, as usual”. Such a relationship, deteriorating badly, is destined for deep unhappiness or the law courts, I always think when I witness those behaviours; or more probably for both.

Summer routines in my present family are slightly different, of course, though only in the evenings and at night, and only when the air is sufficiently warm. Warm in John and Francine’s judgement, that is, of course. Living on the ground floor of our building, we have the privilege of direct access to the back garden. The garden isn’t particularly well-maintained by the landlord. Its peripheral shrubs have run wild, and its somewhat patchy grass is hacked two or three times a year, rather than being mown; and the ancient surrounding brick wall shows signs of crumbling at various points. Nonetheless, there is a pleasant patio immediately outside the kitchen door on which we each have a soft, padded lounger, known and respected as dedicated personal spaces. Well, theirs are dedicated, and John or Francine commonly colonise mine if they can get there first; and I am content to share mine with one or the other (they are sadly still rather possessive and defensive of particular spaces, indoors and out: first come, first served seems to be one of their ruling principles, and challenges are met by rather peremptory glares and hisses).

Formerly, these loungers used to be uncomfortably damp after rain. Now, however, the patio is overhung by a protective roof, cantilevered from the wall of the house. Oh, the fuss involved in arranging for that structure to be erected! Let alone the cost! And the dust and mess spread by the builders who had to traipse through the flat in their muddy boots, coming and going to the street for their materials and tools. John and Francine were quite upset while the job continued, and showed their indignation by withdrawing from the drawing room for a whole three days after the workmen had completed their work. But that’s families, isn’t it? They cost money, now and then, and are liable to be upset by strangers and changes of routine. Also, significant investments are necessary at various points, to ensure a happier future. At least I shall not have to find thousands of pounds a year to support John and Francine at a university. They could contribute very effectively in such an institution, I am more than confident; but there is no sign of such an opportunity becoming available.

So, on suitable summer evenings, we repair to the patio rather than the drawing room, until it becomes too chilly outside, or bedtime calls. Francine joins me in the bedroom as usual, of course; but John often  lingers outside, or, if it is too warm to close all the windows, and having come in perhaps for a brief drink from the tap above the kitchen sink (which has to be very particularly calibrated for this operation), he is liable to disappear into the outer darkness and return at an unknown time of his own. It’s clearly pointless to try to require his return by ten or midnight or whenever. He clearly believes that he is now old enough to decide such things for himself, and will be perfectly all right, anyway. What can I do? He leaves with a dismissive wave of his tail, as if to say, “Whatever”, if he were sufficiently rude as to say such a thing. Of course, he would not dream of doing so!

Well, of course, John and Francine and I have long-since settled into our relationship. Each knows their place and the others’ routines, and respects them. Francine takes over my place in bed each morning, to enjoy the residual warmth, and John goes out when I bring in the milk, to check the security of his territory. Living conveniently close to my place of work, I let him back indoors from the top of the gatepost where he always waits, when I pop home in my mid-morning coffee-break (I never drink the beastly stuff, anyway), which is uncomfortable when the weather is inclement, but, clever though he is, he has not yet mastered the workings of the key and lock on the front door, so what can I do? Francine being still ensconced in my sheets and blankets, he takes his position beneath the big radiator in the drawing room, and there they stay, apparently, until I get home again just before six o’clock. Once they have supped, Francine takes her armchair for the evening and John goes under the bed to wash and tidy himself; and so we all pass each day to our chosen satisfaction, as it should be.

I really cannot understand how chaotic households – of which there seem to be so many, if the television programmes are to believed – can get into the state they seem to do. Ours is always calmness and peace, never disturbed in any way at all.

Wednesday, 21 March 2018

2050

by Robert Ferguson

jasmine tea

 

I woke Georgina as usual with the bowl of milky coffee to which she had become addicted on our Paris honeymoon. She seldom spoke until she had finished it, being a long, deep sleeper once she had vigorously  ensured my comfort for the night, and hers. “Aaaah,” she said, or I expect that’s what it was. That is certainly what she usually grunted, as she swung her long dark legs from beneath the duvet and walked, otherwise silently, in her beautiful West African sway, to the bathroom.

Georgina had been a baby of the Mediterranean, one of the last few shipments of illegal immigrants dumped off the Sussex coast by people-traffickers in 2023 at the end of a journey from Ghana across the Sahara, then, after another swim and incarceration in France, across the Channel. Someone, not her mother or father, had put an arm around the drowning baby as he swam the last mile from the massively over-crowded rubber boat which had left France in the dark and fog of the night before. Both of them made it to the English coast, gasping and exhausted, though Georgina’s parents didn’t; and her saviour handed over Georgina to the volunteers gathered there to welcome these poor scraps, and disappeared to make his own way in our world. Every day, I prayed that he had settled safely and comfortably here, and gave thanks for his humanity, which had given me my life’s love. At least he would be secure now from the brutish Immigration Centres and anti-immigrant prejudices which had still been part of the insularity of British life when he and Georgina landed.

Georgina wasn’t her given name, of course. That was something Muslim and unpronounceable without long practice, and she had accepted equably the name she’d been given by the charity which bailed her out of the hands of Social Services, and found her a couple of adoptive parents in South London, where she went to school. Arthur and Anne were lovely, loving people who brought up Georgina as their own, lent her the example of their straightforward honesty, quick London wits, and loads of common sense, and sent her off to a very good University from which she rushed home to them every vacation, and to the holiday job and colleague-friends whom she’d enjoyed ever since she’d walked in as soon as she legally could to ask for work. Now she was a senior editor at a very well-established publisher in Bloomsbury, and set to make Partner in a few more years.

London, indeed most of the UK and the world, is a very different place now from what it was when Georgina arrived. The rate of building new blocks has slowed down, and the rate of repairs and maintenance of existing buildings has increased. Most faces are so much more relaxed and friendly these days, in their rainbow hues. People greet each other again with a word as well as a smile, and feel safe outside their own front door. There are more trams, all with wide, low doors for easier access, and far fewer personal cars; and all of them are electric-powered, so getting around the cities is quicker, cleaner and easier. The experiments with driverless cars didn’t last long. They were either too slow when caught up in convoys, or bumped too often, though many safety features were spun off them onto the new generation of vehicles.

But the great thing is the integration of attitudes. Before the early 2020’s, the British seemed to have forgotten that we are a nation of immigrant refugees, from as far back as history extends. Celts, Saxons, Vikings, Normans, Dutch, Germans, Russians and Poles, Irish, Jews from all over the place, South Asians of a variety of races, Arabs and Mongols when the Middle East exploded at the end of the last century, and Africans from the Caribbean or direct from Africa, as Georgina is. And of course there have been plenty of British emigrants to the ancient British Commonwealth countries, first to Canada, Australia and New Zealand, and then, with their booming economic strength, to India and China, and the city-states of Hong Kong, Singapore and the Gulf. And, given time, all have become integrated into their new home’s society; and that has both caused and been helped by the integration of the individual nation-states that used to make such a fuss about being so special and independent of all the others.

Once that silly Brexit business had been reversed in 2019, people seemed to come to their senses. It had become clear, even to the most entrenched Little Englanders, that, at the best, it would take several years to set up the details of trading agreements across the globe which would be as favourable as conditions within the old European Union. In the meantime, there would be years of rapid decline in the UK economy from which it would take even more years to recover. The outcry for a second referendum had been deafening, and successful, and we had pulled back from the brink into the arms of the Europeans, with a whole lot of back-covering and face-saving which fooled nobody.

The politicians who had so nearly taken us to disaster were thrown out at the next opportunity, and the other lot tried; but, however well-meaning, they made their usual economic mess through not daring to increase their income while not daring not to try to fulfil their promises. And, of course, “cometh the time, cometh the person”, eventually. Gradually, the New Realists were able to persuade more and more people that we couldn’t have a tip-top health service and fair pensions on a basic income tax of 20%. In whole numbers, 10 or 15, let alone 20, into 1 doesn’t go adequately, and never did. Once they got into government, things started very gradually to improve, step by tiny step, which meant that, although times were a little harder for a few years, very few people noticed what was diverted from their pay before they saw it. Everyone enjoyed the improved security of knowing they’d have a decent basic income, be seen and treated by the medical services in hours rather than days or weeks, and would be looked after in their old age.

Beyond the English Channel and North Sea, things improved too in the 2020’s. With Britain back on board the European Union, its economy not much harmed and its military forces strengthening, the Union’s influence increased as a counter-balance to the United States, Russia and China. Then, after Washington had successfully faced down a little nation, and the world narrowly avoided total disaster when they tried the same game on one of the big ones, it became obviously in everyone’s interest to build up the United Nations, root out the time-servers there, and make it do what it was intended to do. Gradually again, the power-struggles of the Middle East were quelled, human rights violations were met head-on with firm international action, and, with spreading globalisation and education and the passage of time, Islam became more and more widely understood as an Abrahamic faith to be respected, like Christianity, with the effect of reducing the Muslim fear of domination under the yokes of other religions.

That showed here quite quickly, especially as the number of practicing Christians continued to decline, and more and more people stopped pretending to uphold what they had no intention of using except at Christmas and their funeral. The churches that did remain contributed by actively inviting local Muslims and Sikhs, Hindus and Buddhists, to come and explain their religions to them, and so build up both understanding and active friendships; and, of course gradually again, integration increased. It became safe for strangers to visit mosques and gurdwaras and temples, and to wander among the wonderful spicy smells of Asian shops and cafes.

Now, the streets are sunny, even in the rain, and the inconsistencies of income have been evened out to a tolerable extent. Women are still admired but no longer abused, and are seldom embarrassed in public places where anyone forgetting their manners is soon reminded, gently but firmly, not to be so selfish or old-fashioned. Rough sleeping still occurs, but the modern psychiatric social services centres have welcomed most of those whom medical science and trained volunteer mentors can help; and the few men and women whose need for total independence and freedom is overwhelming are tolerated and ensured three meals a day from mobile vans, rural and urban, if they’ll take them.

So – who would have believed it? – here we are, according to my Mum and Dad and the majority of their friends of similar age, in a better world than the one in which they grew up and struggled through the difficulties of their youth. But then, as Georgina always points out to me when I get pessimistic, history has a pendulum, so that nothing is totally terrible for ever. Just hang in there, ‘cos it’ll take a turn for the better in its own good time.

Wednesday, 14 March 2018

Bad Billy and Wicked Hannah's Wedding and the Lootenant's Dying Revenge,

by Robert Ferguson

americano


I couldn’t believe it. I could not believe it! Billy had been banging her in that top floor apartment of the flop-house at 47th and 9th since he’d hauled her out as a hostage from the jeweller’s he’d done single handed all those years ago to make his bones. An’ now they wanted to get marr-ied? Or at least she did, I presumed. Billy marr-ied? Well, no more than the little runt deserved.

Well, I had to believe it. The word was good. Always had been, that word, from that one, inside the gang an’ turned by a couple of really big cops with ex-regulation billy-sticks who’d made it either that or his old woman got it. Whenever. Oh, that word had to be good!

So Billy an’ Hannah were coming down out of their fortress, out from behind the gang’s lines, the floors of mattresses and foot-soldiers and guns that had made winkling them out impossible for so many years. To get married in the ballroom at the Ogalala Hotel on 24th. I knew it well. Danced there regular’, when I was young enough to dance. I knew its layout, its music and its service intimately. It would be so simple. All I had to do was get the Captain onside.

I put it to the Captain in his favourite bar. He was horrified. “What are you trying to do to me?” he screamed in a whisper. “You know the Chief won’t let you get near Billy and Hannah. He’ll hate it!” 

“But the Mayor will love it,” I replied, “and I know where he drinks, too. And with Billy gone, and the Chief gone…well, promotions all round, maybe?” 

“Fix the Mayor and you’ve got it,” the Captain said, after a lot more whispered hisses, and a couple more scotches. 

“He’ll love it,” I repeated. “He’ll be counting the thank-you votes.” 

And he did - both. 

So, time to go to work. I needed to find sufficient cops who could play liquorice sticks an’ horns with their left hands, while handling their pieces with their right; an’ get a dozen shotguns fixed up as working trombones, and a dozen more horns with 38’s stuck down their bells. An’ get hold of a couple of dozen more who could wait table without pouring soup down the clients’ backs, or dropping burgers into their laps.

As usual, there were no volunteers. “Ooh, Loot,” they cried, “we’re cops not nancy waiters.” “Ooh, Loot, I ain’t played in a band since high school.” 

“You went to high school?” I said. “You can’t read the Captain’s standing orders, let alone the dots on a stave. But you’ve got two hands, and decent balance. You can wait table, can’t you? You’ve been in a restaurant now and then since high school, I suppose? Take your wife out Saturday and watch how its done. No, definitely not on the Department’s expenses! Ok, who’s next.”

Then there was the weapons sergeant. “Ain’t no way you can put guns in musical instruments so the instruments still play. I never heard of any such thing, Loot. Is the Captain behind this idea? Whose budget’s carrying it?” 
“Look, Sarg.,” I explained patiently, “A horn’s a tube. A trombone’s just a longer tube. They both have an opening at the but end. And a gun is also a tube, but thinner and shorter. So what we need is some engineering, some imagination, an’ that’s why I came to you, Sarg.” I really larded it to him. “If anybody can do it you can. We just need a couple more holes for the triggers and magazines, shielded so the air doesn’t escape from the musical tubes. But keep them small, ‘cos nobody’s got to see ‘em under my guys hands.”

The breakthrough came, of course, with the first guy who took it on. One of the younger men in the Traffic team finally stepped up, bored out of his skull after four months of trolling round the filthy alleys of the Bronx in his squad car, and never getting out of it except to buy a hot dog and endless cups of disgusting coffee that the dispatcher never let him finish before they were cold. He actually did play in a swing band. Now! And once he signed up, and offered to rehearse any other volunteers, and I talked the Captain into paying three hours’ overtime for the operation itself, we finally began to put together a team. Waiters appeared, guys whose families ran pizza houses and spaghetti cafes in Little Italy, who had waited table from the age of eight in parts of the City that Billy had terrorised for years, and who had scores of scores to settle.

Sarg, down in the Secure Weapons Store in the basement, found an engineer friend of a friend of a friend who used to sell guns to the Mob, until going straight under the influence of his wife’s nagging and a 12-stretch up the river. Sarg. didn’t tell him the target. Just what the instruments and weapons had to do.

We had a team, and I could fix the hotel manager. He knew I knew enough about him and his family’s past to send him away for years. Also, several very nasty characters would love to hear who had told the Department about various meetings and dinners in the Ogalala that they had worked hard to keep secret, especially from the police. Oh, yes, I could fix the hotel manager! But I wasn’t going to put the arm on him ‘till Billy an’ Hannah were on their way to the ceremony.
 
It went well. Minutes before Billy an’ Hannah arrived at the front of the Ogalala in their great big armoured Buick, I had a quiet, short word with the hotel manager. He quickly agreed not to get involved. I’d guessed he would.  The band an’ the waiters were ushered silently out of the back of the hotel into vans, an’ replaced by cops; an’ nobody in the hotel noticed a thing. In fact, the only folks who did notice anything were the layabouts and bums and wino’s who did notice – well, those who could – that there were no cops on the streets. But they weren’t going to complain, just enjoy the quietest night in years. It was a big operation, really big, but worth it to get Bad Billy an’ his dame.

Into the hotel ballroom came the happy couple, and their bodyguards took places at tables around them. We noted who was where. They’d all be carrying tonight. The band started playing, an’ the dancing began. The boys were good! They swung! I was proud of them, an’ enjoyed the sound. Foot-tappin’.

When the time came, the “band” stopped playing an’ withdrew to the edge of the dance floor, an’ so did the “waiters”, forming a circle around Billy an’ Hannah. Two more of Billy’s heavies brought in the Padre, almost carrying him, one under each of his arms, and the poor, terrified Father, sweating hard, an’ hoping’ the Monsignor never heard about it, said the words in a muttered rush. Billy kissed Hannah long an’ hard, my boys brought in the cake an’ put it centre front on the little circular table in front of Hannah, and gave her the fancy, blunt knife. An’ my boys drew their guns.

Billy an’ Hannah froze, an’ I walked forward from the kitchen. No gun. Why’d I need a piece? There were plenty in there already, and more of ours than theirs. But I was wrong. Oooh, I was wrong, cos’ the paying customers rose as I walked forward and placed the muzzles of their guns in the right ears of my boys, whose pieces clattered to the sprung, timber dance floor.

An’ even then, I wasn’t worried. I’d learned this trade mounting ambushes in ‘Nam. And my second line neutralised Billy’s back-up boys, guns cold in the backs of their necks. More clattering on the floor, an’ the bandsmen and waiters recovered both sets of weapons. “Time’s up, Billy,” I said. “Sure is, Lootenant,“ Billy said, with that sneaky grin on his chops I’d hated and dreamed of for years.

                             *                *                 *

And that’s where the Lootenant’s story stopped, when I found it in the locked drawer in his desk. He’d never finished it, and for a very good reason. If somebody had to write the last lines, however, they would be these:

“Time’s up, Billy,” I said. 

“Sure is, Lootenant,“ Billy said, and Chief of Police Seringato, Seringato the Sicilian, Seringato the Take, walked up behind me and shot me plumb in the back of the head.