Showing posts with label Mike Lee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mike Lee. Show all posts

Monday, 9 February 2026

Bazaar in Ruins by Mike Lee, a bottle of Jameson

 One: The Last Storm

The thunderstorm was explosive--sheets of rain curtained down loud as gunshots, soft as paint splatters from exploding balloons in the nighttime sky, presaging autumn, which this was, the last loud scream of the dead summer returning to rattle ghostly chains in October to remind us of its passing, telling us about the heat, the sun, vacations on the beach and air conditioners and fans whirring in apartment blocks tenements condos, turned off for the season, but hello boom, and reminding you like your worst and best relationship, the one who scrawled a note attached to a brick and tossed it through your window before driving away from your life. The storm, therefore, is relief and release; don’t mind getting soaked, because things may change for the better: the rain cleans the gutters, flooding out all the shit, and its cleansing is closure if you make the most of it. So, there is joy in that, think positively, and move on toward home in the night.


Two: Remember

From the shadow into the light of an autumn afternoon, I point defiantly, shouting on this magical stage spread under this weakening sun, hours fading into ageless night, telling you what is, not, maybe, should, could, and never will be again. You can tell me I am nothing but a shade to be forgotten—that punk you knew quiet back of the class, a few years later you saw me huddled against the cracking tile, almost asleep, 5 a.m. Times Square platform under the rusting girders. But backed against the wall, I am here calling you out. Because I remember you, and I know you say you don’t recall me. But I remember you, and I am fucking still around, and when you get it, you will know.


Three: Walk

Center me against brick; make me one with the clay, burn me Hiroshima Enola Gay fat man into shadow John Hersey cliché stop all war but they keep on coming so what the fuck with this shit. I am a shadow of myself, nothing to see here. Live anonymously, though some will remember, then less recall until life takes them, and I am forgotten. Legends remain, but never people, and I am all too human in my passage of grieving regret. So, walk on.

Walk.


About the author

Mike Lee's work appears in or is forthcoming in Blood+Honey, Bristol Noir, Roi Faineant, Wallstrait, BULL, Drunk Monkeys, and many others. Also is in the latest Cafe Lit anthology.

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)


Tuesday, 13 January 2026

Why Do I Still Sleep? by Mike Lee, energy drink

 The fragile space of uncertainty beckons through dreamed skies outside a modern frame window. Margie lives in a world of breathless work, one and all, all in one, feeling adrift and weary as the demands press upon her.

The day plods on as Margie makes her way from the office to the terminal, where she eats breakfast and lunch, which are humdrum and sometimes lost in the electronic stacks of emails and other tasks, as she responds, ignores, and forwards.

The day ends. Margie stops. Fingers resting on the keyboard. Eyes staring ahead, a dull ache settling in, uncertainty and fatigue clouding her expression.

The night shift is arriving. Each arrival walks to each cubicle and wheels the workers on Margie’s shift in their chairs to the wall closet set. Each one pulls the cord from the plate on the floor and plugs in a charger under their left armpit.

Afterward, they close the doors.

That’s it for the night until morning, before Margie begins again.

 

About the author 

 

Mike Lee's work appears in or is forthcoming in Blood+Honey, Bristol Noir, Roi Faineant, Wallstrait, BULL, Drunk Monkeys, and many others. Also is in the latest CafeLit anthology 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Monday, 29 September 2025

The Whatevers by Mike Lee, a Guinness

 When Deidre crossed Broadway against the traffic and stepped on the curb, cellphone in hand, it was a transformative, albeit confusing moment, where the choice for Henry was to stare with stunned amazement or suddenly perform surrealist-influenced performance art.

She was a good kid until she chose to manipulate and triangulate, until she was trapped in a corner, like a cheap 1950s wind-up doll, her face and feet buzzing in the air, until it stopped and fell to the floor.

That is Deidre now. Full of rage and somewhat settled identity despite the current persona that may work in Brooklyn, and a few other places, but nowhere else.

Henry fully understood that. He was young once, too. Deidre has a few years left to realize that whatever you think you are on the outside is just a uniform, not a persona. She also didn’t learn the lesson Henry did: that ‘you’re not as smart as you think you are’ either. He hoped she would, but likely won’t.

Henry continued his walk, maintaining his usual pace. He always walked faster than most pedestrians. Even so, he kept his head on a swivel. He hadn’t seen Deidre in years, and kept his head on a swivel just in case the rage she carried was today heavier than overstuffed carry-on luggage.

Behind sunglasses to protect from early-stage glaucoma and just to hide his mood and potential movements from others, he confidently believed he was safe. This came from reading Catch-22 as a young teenager, and the “Yosserian, jump!” He did, and fled to Sweden.

This novel ending stuck with him, and Henry had acted accordingly since.

He shifted over to his left, while Deidre remained half a block ahead. Moments later, she vanished into the crowd.

Henry continued walking and later entered a bookstore. He had to jump this time. Until another moment like this comes along, because there will always be another time.

While browsing the carts the staff used to shelve the recent acquisitions, Henry remembered what a long-dead ex-girlfriend said to him more than 30 years ago. “After I die, I will haunt you.” It stuck with him, and ever since, he has had several Yossarian jumps.

He regretted not breaking up with her after that lunacy. Instead, they got married and had Deidre.

Henry found a book he had been looking for and continued browsing.

About the author

 

Mike Lee's work appears in or is forthcoming in Blood+Honey, Bristol Noir, Roi Faineant, Wallstrait, BULL, Drunk Monkeys, and many others. Also is in the latest CafeLit anthology. 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Monday, 28 July 2025

Fugue by Mike Lee, Vodka tonic

She was a kid, yet honestly—not really. She just turned 55, pays the rent, works hard, and was diagnosed with chronic depression by her psychiatrist. Genetics and bad experiences were hard to overcome, but she did. It left her mostly exhausted while self-medicating but talkative with her therapist.

So, that girl, well — woman, had long reached and passed the age of knowing better, having never been raised by circumstance to walk the narrow path to Heaven or, despite parental or alternative authority, just chose to go her own way. She was left-handed, which is where the word sinister comes from, and of course, no good would come from people like that.

Her grandmother said this when she was five, and she never got over it. You just don’t.

When she arrived at the crossroads at certain age in life, she already had her chosen path. There was no devil to make a deal with, not that she wanted to ask for something in return. Instead, the decision was made effortlessly on her own, and it seemed without much thought was involved. She was not one for self-reflection except to check her make-up or horns finally sprouted.

A dangerous person is confident without the burden of faith tugging at their soul—an inhuman lacking remorse or reservation. The kind who doesn’t break stride as she hurts people on the journey. Draw a distinction between those who love and care and those who hate.

She also thought herself wise. As she progresses, she becomes mindful of the story of the great-uncle who disappeared on a high school trip because he decided to go his own way, stepping off the road and into the forest—his body was never found.

She craved the attention too much to disappear, so she walked straight in the middle of the trail on the way to whatever destiny left for her.

The leopard skirt was too young for her, but whatever, pretend it will be the last time. The day sucked, and nightfall brought opportunities for a respite of hopeful socializing, and the bartender liked her enough to comp half the orders.

The decision on footwear depended on how drunk she was going to get tonight, so she settled for Docs--over fishnet—she wasn’t that old.

She put on her oversized black t-shirt to hide the gut. She thought about a session in hot yoga again and not blowing off the gym, but forgot both looked in the mirror and realized she still looked younger than her age thanks to her hairstyle and fair skin.

She threw on her shawl and motorcycle jacket. She was that kind of girl. Slapped on her headphones and left her apartment, listening to obscure shoegaze loud to start up the tinnitus by the time the elevator doors opened, walking through the courtyard, passing the fountain, and onward to the street before turning the corner that led to the dive bar.

While walking, she remembered the rocker girl days. It started with a cheap black leather jacket made in Pakistan, purchased at St. Mark’s Place for 99 dollars. Then came a couple of mock turtlenecks at the Gap, a garrison bilt made from lacquered leather, and two pairs of drainpipe black jeans that never faded unless she washed them in cold water in the sink at her dorm at NYU. She completed the ensemble with black leather pointed-to boots at a used closing warehouse in Brooklyn.

She remembered becoming a different person. She was surprised at how fast and complete the transformation from good girl to badass was.

But this was only in appearance, and it wasn’t long before she became yet another East Village cartoon, wandering from King Tuts to the Pyramid to the Knitting Factory and both Downtown Beiruits, along with Space From Chase, shows at the Ritz and the wretched old dance hall in Midtown, where she first tripped during a Spiritualized show.

Dipped into a well of the blackest ink and dropped into a feral New York landscape where one never ventured alone past Avenue B.

It wasn’t too long before she was invisible. Just another punk rock girl attending an expensive school with no plans or real friends, even though she never really tried.

She reached the bar, pausing at the window, looking in. The brewpub down the street closed last week, so that crowd had taken over. Younger, professional, button-down shirts, neat haircuts, and designer everything,  likely ordering new hip cocktails, like espresso martinis.

The kids working the bar knew how to make them.

She put her hand to the window and saw herself as she was. Outside looking in.

Turning, she walked across the street to the liquor store, bought a half-liter of vodka, and returned to her apartment.

She drank herself into a fugue state, and while asleep, she dreamed of walking in the middle of the road, no destination in mind, her leather cowboy boots crunching on gravel, going nowhere, as always, nameless in a crowd until work begins Monday morning. 

                                                                                                                                        About the author

Mike Lee is a writer and editor at a trade union in New York City. His work appears in or is forthcoming in Wallstrait, Bright Flash Literary Review, Panoplyzine, Brilliant Flash Fiction, Bristol Noir, BULL, Drunk Monkeys, and many others. His story collection, The Northern Line, is available on Amazon

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.) 




Wednesday, 11 December 2024

Nothing Left to Know, by Mike Lee, sparkling water

Dave entered community college after the registrar volunteered to review his high school transcript.

When Dave handed the transcript to the clerk, he was told to go to “that man” first. Since he was a dropout and had yet to take his general equivalency diploma, Dave needed his approval to register at the community college.

The registrar looked at the sheet, sighed, and mumbled, “Okaaaayyyy.”

Upon handing it back to him, he said, “Perfect grades in Philosophy and Religion, Media Studies and the histories. You flunked nearly every other class.”

He paused. “You’re either going somewhere important—or waking up in the morning under an overpass. It’s your choice, now.”

This was on an afternoon during the late summer heat. Dave had sold his collection of punk rock singles at a used record shop before heading to the auditorium for class registration.

Dave remembered the man’s gaze when he handed back his transcript. They locked eyes.

The registrar hesitated for a moment before letting it go from his grasp.

He looked hopeful, or so Dave believed, as he turned away from him to get back into the registration line.

“Good luck,” the man said as Dave walked away.

Dave sighed in relief, paid his fees, and bought his textbooks with the money he had earned from selling the singles.

Dave registered for four classes: Sociology, Introduction to Psychology, an introductory course in English Literature, and Texas History. Three classes were held at the old high school building at Rio Grande Street, and Texas History was an at-home study, with classroom dates to turn in midterms and final papers.

Two weeks after classes began, he got a job a mile from the school washing dishes at a steak house, four nights a week, at minimum wage.

The job was repetitive and mindless, and it made him feel at ease. The rhythm of shoving racks, pressing the button on the Auto-Chlor dishwasher, and putting dishes and trays away gave him opportunities to daydream while Tony, the main cook, blasted Delta blues and obscure old country music from the radio cassette deck combo on the steel rack next to the grille.

During downtime, Dave studied and read the Diamond Sutra, trying to make sense of its heavily fathomed depths.

A month into the job, Dave saved enough to move from home. Since he didn’t have a car, it became too embarrassing to drive to school and work.

Mom didn’t mind. She told him she could use the emotional space.

So did he.

He found a notice on the bulletin board at the liquor store down the block from work advertising a garden studio behind one of the houses around the corner. It was furnished at $150 a month, and utilities were paid.

The studio was a converted shed. Its kitchenette featured a 1920s double sink with chrome and glass touches. It was furnished with an aged fold-out couch, a coffee table, and a single bed. Dave did his homework at the red Formica dining table, listening to music on his cassette player.

Leona, his landlady, lived in the main house. She was friendly and occasionally doted on him. Dave helped with her garden on Sundays, and sometimes they dined together.

So this was home. His telephone was in the booth outside the liquor store. Dave called his mother daily to let her know he was okay. Now and then, she didn’t pick up, but he learned not to mind.

He didn’t hang out as much with his friends, and outside of a visit by a couple of them shortly after he moved in, only his landlady and form time to time his mother came by. He enjoyed the solitude, studying with his textbooks and reading books such as the Dhammapada, the Sutras, Alan Watts, and others.

One morning in November, when the heat dissipated into autumn cool, he arrived early to study in the high school’s former cafeteria. It was repurposed into a common area, with snack machines and a rack of video games in the back.

He just sat down when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Whoa.”

Standing over him was a guise from the near past. Sherry was one of his ex-girlfriend’s friends. Her peroxide hair was stuffed in a Greek Fisherman’s cap, and under her bomber jacket, she wore a Joy Division T-shirt.

“Hey! Nice running into you,” she said. “I heard you were here. How’ve you been?”

“Fine,” Dave said. He was sheepish about talking to her, given she was close to his ex-girlfriend. That relationship didn’t end well.

She pointed at the stack of books next to his open spiral. “That can’t all be for your classes?”

“No, not really. Been reading a lot since the summer,” he said. “I guess I will read until there is nothing left to know.”

They chatted for a short time. Sherry was taking a Math Intro class to fulfill her obligations at the university, and she was still making the music scene. Dave was reticent about the past but listened to the gossip. Monica, his ex, was dating a bass player.

What is around him is noise except for the flip of the page, and a pen scratching on lined paper.

He thought of Alan Watts’s writing about change and joining the dance. Dave was, as far as he was concerned, dancing well.

Sherry had to leave for class and promised to meet next Thursday. After watching her leave, Dave returned to writing in his notebook, beginning his morning ritual of creating form out of desire.

Thursday, he wrote. Thursday, there is someone I want to know.

About the author

 

Mike Lee's work appears in or is forthcoming in Cafe Lit, Roi Faineant, Wallstrait, BULL, Drunk Monkeys, and many others. 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Wednesday, 23 October 2024

A Morning by Mike Lee, a glass of Merlot

 His daughter, Penny, perches on the piano stool, delivering an exegesis on being dissociative as the father sits calmly on the cat-clawed leather chair, gobsmacked. Fortunately, this ramble comes occasionally, but when she starts, he sinks into the worn black leather until he is one with the fabric.

Penny has been erratic since the summer before college. This included arguments that ended with the father invariably declared dead, with Penny disappearing to Desiree, the ex-girlfriend the father wishes he never met.

When Penny got ready for college, it was apparent he no longer could push back while withstanding the whipsaw hurricane of his daughter’s rapidly cycling mood swings.

After Penny graduated, Dwight ceased contact with Desiree. Penny stays in touch with her; the father maintains polite silence whenever Penny speaks of her.

 

Eventually, Penny leaves. Dwight walks her to the subway. They hug before she takes the stairs. He is sad but grateful tonight did not end with an argument.

The following morning is an exercise in the sharp struggle of dealing with a panic attack brought on by bad dreams, fueled by the realization he had gained too much weight and began to fear Death again.

Dwight was getting older and at the age where people his age—and younger—were dying.

Death to him was a paradox. He had spent years dealing with a now-deceased abusive ex-wife and a young adult child with some issues better responded to by a trained therapist, on top of the vagaries of a career that the possibility of Death just did not fit into the equation. As a result, Dwight slid into a tautology where the concept of dying is processed to an anti-paradoxical logic.

He will not live forever; whenever he sits down, Dwight looks like he might give birth and is more tired now than three years ago.

Therefore, Death is on the table. Not at, mind you, raring to play a game of chess. Dwight wearily knew his demise was more likely than before, and he had better get to work on his potbelly. How he looks at things: Death is an object he can push a smidgen at a time with efforts at healthy living, but no matter how he tries to rationalize the situation, Dwight realizes that while the end is not near, there is, however, an end.

With the morning obsession with attendant terror done, Death can wait because Dwight needed to make the rent, again, as always, for two-thirds of his sixty years.

Walking down the street, he counted on making 9K plus steps to the office. This was to push the death card a little further.

Dwight has earbuds on. Screw tinnitus.

 

Years ago—1992—Dwight, his friends Brad and Freddy Parker drove through a sleepless night in Austin in a battered white Ford Econoline working for a music conference.

It was already past sunrise when they staggered into a hotel lobby.

A gospel group performed an impromptu spiritual below them in the restaurant.

Freddy leaned against the railing. “Are we dead or something?”

Brad murmured, “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Dwight said, “No, we are as alive as ever.”

Freddy died a year before Brad, so Dwight is the last man out of the van. 

 

Dwight slides his ID across the turnstile and enters the cavernous nothing toward the job. Twenty-third-floor Skidoo, and off to the café to pick up some food.

It is a buffet breakfast, and be careful about the sausage portions. You’re an old man now, Dwight, and you want to live and keep that card at the edge of the table for as long as you can.

He juggles Styrofoam breakfast, coffee, wallet, and ID at the frosted glass door.

He sets up his laptop, plugs in his external drive, and eats. 

His phone buzzes. The daughter is having another manic panic. 

Penny drops a dozen dimes in ninety seconds. 

 

The card remains on the table’s edge, and when Dwight is ready, he will meet Dwight and Freddy at the ledge.

Dwight waits a few minutes until the buzzing stops, while taking in his breakfast with a modicum of sadness.

When he finishes, Dwight reads the messages, listening to gospel.

 

About the author

 

Mike Lee's work appears in or is forthcoming in CafeLit, Roi Faineant, Panoply, Wallstrait, BULL, Drunk Monkeys, and many others. 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Friday, 21 June 2024

The April Thesis by Mike Lee, red wine and Strega

 It was another nothing autumn afternoon: cloudy, beckoning rain. I saw a young couple riding down St. Marks Place to Tompkins Square Park. I was on the sidewalk, my camera in hand, as the blue Citibike rode by, pedaled by a heavy-set young man with close-cropped hair, and a young woman sitting in the front basket, her brown legs spread wide and high as her driver raced to make the light at Avenue A.

Riding in those baskets is often dangerous but has become commonplace recently. Youth lives for small dangers, and I envied their passion and a sense that no matter how risky, all would be well.

Until it isn’t. But not today.

As they passed, the young man looked at me. I wish I had gotten a photo, but I wasn’t ready.

Yet the moment sent me elsewhere in time.

I thought about the young woman on the bike. She was short and thin, with black hair flowing past—a blur.

This was enough to set the wheels turning. Backward, though, always backward.

I continued walking, smiling and dived deep into memory from decades ago.

The young woman reminded me of April. We met at the Domsey’s in Williamsburg, near the bridge, in the fall of 1990.

I used to go to the store to buy vintage clothes, but I learned from friends that the best bargains were at Domsey’s warehouse in Brooklyn by the East River.

There, you could get clothes for a pound. The catch was you had to compete with buyers from vintage stores and others, all fighting for a spot by the large bins where workers would dump piles of clothes. The cascades of shoes and accessories, such as purses and belts, dropped into barrels.

I’m told you rarely got lucky, but it’s still worth a visit.

The early morning weather was crisp and not very cold when I took the M train across the East River into Brooklyn. I had tip money from my waiter job near Union Square in Manhattan and figured on some bargains, hopefully, vintage button-down shirts.

Since I was a teenager, I have worn vintage. I wanted to look different and be sharp. Style is an attitude, not a fashion statement. 

I despise uniformity. Instead, I seek to express my individuality through fashion—though on a tight budget.

I entered chaos. Workers were busy dumping bales of loose clothing into barrels while bargain hunters and vintage clothing storeowners grabbed them almost simultaneously.

Stood there trying to figure out where to start. Hands in tweed jacket pockets. Cigarette hanging from mouth. Horn-rimmed glasses were slightly askew. Turn to the left to look at an ashen young woman in a flower print baby doll dress and high Doc Marten boots fetch a pair of stilettos dropping into the barrel before me.

She held the shoes to her neck as if they represented a profound, life-changing moment. They were vintage: pointed-toed patent leather with what looked like silk bows at the vamp and three-inch heels.

I didn’t find anything in my wanderings through the warehouse; instead, I conversed with the young woman. I found out her name and that she was spending her first paycheck from her cashier job at Tower Records on Broadway. She graduated from Hunter the previous spring and was from Brooklyn. 

Outside, she unlaced her Docs and tried on the stilettos while leaning her hand against the wall. They fit, but I caught her when she began to stumble at the first step.

We found a diner down the street, talked about bands, exchanged numbers, and then I asked her out. We planned to have dinner in the Village.

I made sure I was on time at the meeting spot at the A train exit by the basketball courts.

April wore a black trench coat over a green plaid, a-line dress with a flipped collar and heels, which clicked loudly above the bustling din of the avenue.

She pulled her dark brunette hair back in a ponytail, with wispy bangs over her forehead. Her mascara trailed to Egyptian tails, accentuating her green eyes and hair.

I wore my lucky suit—dark green, single-button, with a skinny black tie knotted over a red shirt and two-tone Italian winkle pickers. 

April adjusted my tie and said she loved how I looked. 

We were money. We were sharp. We walked down MacDougal as such.

Dinner was lasagna and a lot of red wine, finishing with shots of Strega.

We had sex in my apartment. I lived in an old tenement on Ludlow Street with a roommate from Chile and a stove that never worked. My bed was a futon mattress, yet April was impressed with the record collection.

The following day, I woke up to April playing The Pixies and singing along to “Ana.” Her voice was a cigarette whisper, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

Well, it didn’t happen, but give us credit for trying. It just was until it was not. This seems to be a theme in my life.

A few years ago, I looked her up on Facebook. She is married and living in Florida. April is a far and long ago.

As I passed CafĂ© Mogador, I thought I heard the guitar opening to “Ana,” but it was my imagination. The mind plays tricks in late middle age.

About the author

Mike Lee is a writer and editor at a trade union in New York City. His work appears in or is forthcoming in CafeLit, Drunk Monkeys, The Opiate, Brilliant Flash Fiction, BULL, and others. His story collection, The Northern Line, is available on Amazon. 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Friday, 10 May 2024

Morettis on MacDougal Street by Mike Lee, Moretti

 The music was good at the cafĂ©, the last authentic Italian coffee bar in Greenwich Village. The tall 

Brooklyn waitperson set Spotify to somewhat recent alternative and 1970s punk. “And It Goes” by the 

Cool Ghouls was playing, followed by Wire.

The two men, huddled in pea jackets and caps, sauntered with black digital rangefinders hanging around their necks. The winter’s air was crisp, and business was brisk, but they had no trouble finding a table.

They settled in and ordered a pair of Morettis.

“What an adventure you had, bro!” said Tony, doffing his cap and dropping it on top of his camera bag. He then took off his coat and hung it on the ornate wire chair.

“Yeah,” said Frank. We had a great time. It was very intimate, and we shared an experience we never thought we had.”

He laughed. “Then I came home.”

“Dude, you did everything you could. Doesn’t your boy have his own place? But whoa, that anger.”

“Yeah, the whole thing was stupid, including throwing my book in the toilet and leaving a three-card Tarot spread on your desk.”

“Yeah, from my deck,” said Frank. “Readers debate whether to use someone else’s Tarot for a reading, especially when enraged, which he obviously was.”

“I looked at the spread,” said Tony. I’m not sure that Justice means what he thought it meant. But, actually, that spread looks pretty good for you.”

“Yeah, I know. Balance. What I’m trying to seek—the boy wants the same but keeps stepping into shit.”

“Look, my son is not like his mother—thank God—but he only accepts help on his own terms. However, when the boundaries are irrational, like you can help me by denying the existence of your own life, I have to step away and set my own boundaries.”

“Jesus, Frank. That kid hates your girlfriend and cannot let it go. You need to move on.”

“Anyway, what was he doing at your apartment?”

“It’s complicated,” said Frank. “He’s been spending time there because he’s fighting with his partner.”

Frank sipped the Moretti, grimacing while putting the mug down. “Well, that goes into another issue,” he said. “I’m tired of this, but you know how we got here. I met his mother thirty years ago, and even though it’s been a long time since the divorce and though she died several years ago, the damage remains.”

“Stop it,” said Tony. “You did all right. You took action. You are a good father.”

“That wasn’t enough. It’s like this: When deception is added as a tool in an abusive relationship, it quickly becomes a habit, then a way of life. It’s poisonous, its toxicity becoming the fluid that flows through your veins. It overcomes you in every relationship and activity, and you forget why it is there first.’

‘Then, what happens?’

“You make a choice. You break from it because this cannot continue if you want to hold on to your soul. For some, it takes years; for others, it does not.”

“And you?’

Frank shrugged and signaled the waitperson for another Moretti. “Do you think I look like the guy who’s lost everything?”

“Doesn’t seem so.”

“Or maybe I appear to be giving you another deception.”

“How would I know?

“You would know.”

“I am aware. I can tell by who you are not mentioning in our conversation.”

The waitperson places the mug in front of Frank.

“Well?”

“There is no deception,” said Tony. “You are being honest.”

“You can press me further and ask how she is doing?”

“Why should I? I read the answer on your face.”

Frank raised his glass. “Cheers to personal growth and attentive friends.”

Tony raised his. “Cheers for someone whose kid just disowned him.”

Frank finally opened his coat and leaned back in his seat, relaxing from rigidity. “You know what it did? Found out that everyone in the entire mess was lying. But, dude, I had to get off this train, especially when I remembered that ex-girlfriend saying that she does not lie--she only answers the right questions.”

“I never liked her,” said Tony. “I told you bringing her back was a shitty idea.”

“Yeah. With agency comes responsibility.”

“Uh, ‘Does not lie but only answers right questions’ is admittedly fucked up.”

“Well, there you go.” Frank sighed, turning to the Botticelli school painting behind them. “Yes, she is. I blame her for some of this bullshit. Doesn’t seem to get that my son might have problems that can only be fixed with talk therapy and probable meds. Instead, she insists on acting like a replacement mommy and enables the behavior.”

Frank slapped the table. “I appreciate extracting therapy from you. I do not want to make this a habit. I pay someone for listening to my bullshit.”

“No worries. After this, let’s go walking,” said Tony. “My camera is itching for work, and the skate punks are at Washington Square. I’d want to get some action shots.”

“Good idea. Photography is a great way to take my mind off things. People living their lives, doing shit. Expressing emotions of joy, with a layer of a tragedy somewhere buried underneath their facades.”

“They show it, you know. Or maybe I’m only looking at myself.”

He pulled out his wallet. Then, signaling the waitperson, Frank said. “I got this.”

Tony shrugged. “That’s fine, man. By the way, do you have that Zeiss lens on you? It does me well at night.”

Frank rummaged through his camera bag.

“You’re right, you know. We often see ourselves reflected back in the viewfinder,” Frank said. “The camera never lies. No deception escapes the sharpness of the lens.”

Tony stared toward the door. “Good Lord, it’s been thirty years since I met his mother,” he said.

“So what? This is now,” said Frank. “You figured out that learning how to live is never too late. Now let’s go take some pictures.”

 

About the author

Mike Lee is a writer and editor at a trade union in New York City. His work appears in or is forthcoming in CafeLit Drunk Monkeys, The Opiate, Fictionette, Brilliant Flash Fiction, BULL, and others. His story collection, The Northern Line, is available on Amazon. 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Friday, 5 April 2024

Fireflies by Mike Lee, spring water

 

Her wings were never clipped, for the Queen forbade it. But Maddolini dared to fly on late afternoons 

when the sun was deceptive in its light, favoring her kind. So she remained undetected except for the

 birds. They cast her a wide berth when she appeared in the skies above the forested mountains, in the 

home where her people lived.

The Queen, as she did to all of her kind, ordered Maddolini to be unseen in her crystalline wings, sharply tailored for speed. As she darted above before dropping to navigate between the forest pines, she traveled with a sense of sheer joy and wonderment.

Searching for a sturdy oak to perch on, she found the most ancient one, with branches she could trust spreading out near a glade in the mountain’s lower reaches below the pines. 

She found a legacy oak that had seen hundreds of years of interaction at its feet. She had witnessed some: a couple romantically sharing their vows, a great battle or two, picnics and parties both mundane and elaborate, rolling history of the existence of human life.

Since she was an Other, she could only witness unseen, a mere spectator self-reporting on the world of her time.

She felt the breeze enveloping her. Finally, Maddolini gave in to it, spreading her arms. Her wings fluttered slightly. When the wind died down, this saddened her. Maddolini wanted to belong in a world that was other than herself. She felt the stillness signified the deadness of her existence. As an Other, she could only be with her own kind; all were few and a solitary lot.

Sometimes, weeks would pass when she would come across one of her own kind. Conversations rarely rose above salutations and gossip.

Remembering brought on her malaise, the sense of being forever, never as she wrote in her journal. Inspired, she reached down to her satchel, pulled out the leather book, and began to write with a silver pen. Thoughts weary, separated into words that chimed like cracked bells.

Maddolini wrote of plunging into the depths of darkness in the deepest caverns and rising to the sky unafraid, even as ice crystals began to form when she reached the highest part of the atmosphere.

While an Other she, mortal she be. She can die just like all the rest of the fauna, only more challenging, longer-lived, and unseen by predators, by choice.

She sat on her perch writing, thin, pale legs winging, her feet ensconced in heavy white socks stuffed inside Mary Janes. They were comfortable and warm, matching her knee-length white dress, favoring her wings.

“I am perplexed,” Maddolini wrote. “Certain of nothing. It is a strange place, although I have come here for decades. I see the passage of time of the animals, which sprout with the trees and flowers and become firm in place before growing old and dying. Even the trees, including this old oak wherein I sit, will eventually wither from disease and age and, too, shall die.”

“I may remain,” Maddolini wrote. “I may not. All I know is agelessness while the wisdom of experience and witness casts an unfavorable burden.”

Maddolini habitually pushed her silver hair back as she wrote. The color matched her complexion. Her onyx eyes were pinpoints that saw everything. The Others have this gift of sight, the pupils widening to fill entirely, spreading their field of vision to encompass everything before them. She could watch the hawks hovering over the river on her far left and, to her right, an aged cougar sunning on a rock outcrop near a mountain summit. Seeing takes no skill. One is only watching, she wrote. The difficulty is in the interpretation and allowing for errors in instinct.

Maddolini stared at the sky. The clouds were forming riotous anarchy of billowing wonder. She began to sketch it on the bottom of the page. In her home, deep in the pines, she had an entire room devoted to her journals; many had drawings like this.

As she began to sketch in the thunderclouds with her pen, she was startled by a voice below.

“I said: How is the air up there?” The young woman was a human, laughing and waving at her from the glade below.

Her mouth dropped open. How does she see me?

She collected her thoughts, wondering how to respond.

She does see me, so answer her.

“The air ’tis fine,” said Maddolini, her cheeks flushed. “I aver this to be the case.”

The woman below shouted back, “Aye, I see you’re one of them. Never seen one before. Must be my lucky day.”

Maddolini was sharp. “I bring you no fortune, for I have none to give.”

“I thought faeries did?” The young woman’s tone was sarcastic and playful.

“We don’t like that word. Don’t call us that,” said Maddolini. “Call me by my name. Maddolini.”

“You don’t look Italian, but that’s all right.”

Okay.

Maddolini placed the silver pen and journal into her bag and hopped off the branch. After clearing the oak, she spread her wings slightly, enough to balance her drop. Then, as she came close to the ground, she opened her crystalline wings to their furthest width, intending to intimidate this surly woman into fleeing.

She didn’t. Instead, as Maddolini came to rest before her, the woman stood, arms crossed, with a look of appraisement that Maddolini took as bemused curiosity—and somewhat unimpressed.

When she closed her wings, the woman said politely. “Pretty. They match your dress. My name is Claire, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Maddolini said sharply. She had no power to strike back—the Queen dictated never to respond to insults when encountering a human but never forbade exchanges when feeling no threat. Sarcasm is not a threat, though annoying. Also, she instead needed human contact. Conversations are often stilted in the kingdom, and she was taught to keep it simple and friendly when interacting with a human.

She looked at this woman named Claire. It was unlikely she was from the country. Her mauve dress was tailored, and her leather boots were well-made. Her language was from somewhere other than the area, too. Her biting humor was too sophisticated, and she seemed fearless. In encounters with humans in the forests, they often ran away or fell to their knees, believing in a spiritual visitation.

Claire knew better.

She knows all too well who I am.

“Hello, Claire.”

 

Maddolini and Claire sat talking on the grass in the glade before the forest. Underneath the forwardness of her sensitive nature, Claire expressed some nervousness, rapidly responding early in the conversation before settling down. They shared moments of fragmented, tautological grammar as they related their stories. Some were happily humorous. Others not so much, like Maddolini expressing sometimes feeling alone.

“I get that,” Claire said. “You’re out of place in this world, even though you belong to it. I feel that way sometimes. So do other humans.”

“I think it is one of the bonds we share,” said Maddolini.

“I wonder when our species diverged.”

“That’s a legend. You probably read it. In reality, I think we were always different from the beginning.”

“But we are so much alike—except the wings.”

Claire was from the city, where people did not believe in the existence of the Others. Nevertheless, she had imagined they existed and maybe had been watching over her since early childhood, looking down at her from rooftops above. Maddolini suspected that she had an Other in her ancestry—yes, humans and Others have been known to mate, though this was long ago and since forbidden. 

Maddolini explained that she was several cycles from finding a mate. She blushed again when Claire asked how cycles translated to human years. 

Claire sat wide-eyed when she told her.

“No wonder there are so few of you,” she said.

“No, you are wrong,” Maddolini said calmly. “There are too many of us. You just don’t know how many. This is why it will take a long time for me to be eligible to bear a child. You are also being our only predator. That’s why you don’t see us.”

She added, “I don’t want to go into its ritualistic aspects.”

“Don’t worry. None of my business,” Claire said.

After sunset, the fireflies came out, sparkling the glade around them, their lights flashing in cadence with their speech.

“This is getting too late—and I walked very far from where I parked.”

“No worries,” said Maddolini. “I will take you there.”

“You’re going to fly me over?

“Um, no,” Maddolini said. “I cannot carry you. That’s a myth. Another one of many.”

“Yeah, you’re not an angel.” 

They laughed.

“But we can walk together through the woods. I can see you at night and in the daylight, keeping you from dangerous animals. They know better.”

“I read that you are their protectors.”

“No. Another myth.”

Claire laughed. “Then what is true about the Others?”

“We can talk about that on the way to your car.”

Claire waved her arms above her. “Mysteries unveiled! On the way over, I will share some more of mine.”

They laughed again. Maddolini’s wings quivered.

They rose from the ground and walked to the path before them through the woods as the fireflies buzzed about them, lighting up like chaotic markers to unknowable gateways. Words spoken, lessons learned. Friendship binding.

About the author

 

Mike Lee is a writer and editor at a trade union in New York City. His work appears in or is forthcoming in Drunk Monkeys, The Opiate, Fictionette, Brilliant Flash Fiction, BULL, and others. His story collection, The Northern Line, is available on Amazon. 
Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)