Which doctor?

Mike Olley 

 Voodoo Tequila with a pinch of salt

In the morgue, Dr Browning observed Professor Fox's naked lifeless body. It spoke volumes to him; in death the old man was just as curmudgeonly: 'For God's sake use the scalpel, Browning! This is a pathology department, we employ scientific method only. Determining cause of death by occult means is not only reckless, it is also unethical. Pure mumbo-jumbo. I will not stand for it.' But there was nothing the dead man could do now, the department belonged to Browning.

Satisfied with his work, Browning packed away the ouija board and filled in Fox's post-mortem report: death by supernatural causes.

About the author 

Mike Olley writes short fiction. His work has been published in several anthologies. A designer by trade, he's also quite a good carpenter and grower of cactus plants. Originally from London, he spent a few years in Spain before a quirk of fate brought him back to live in an English seaside town.

Mikeolley.com

100 Worder: It’s Impossible To Spell

100 Worder: It’s Impossible To Spell

Mike Olley

Water with soluble aspirin

I invented a new swear word, I'd used up all the others whilst putting up these shelves. It happened at the moment I hit my thumbnail with a hammer for the second time. My voice just spurted out something different. Unusual. I didn't know what I'd said and there was no one else around to verify; the new swear word was simply lost in the ether. But sometime and somewhere in the future when all is quiet, there may be a faint echo heard that will make mothers blush and schoolchildren giggle. In the meantime, I'm hanging up my tools.

About the Author

Mike Olley writes short fiction. His work has been published in several anthologies. A designer by trade, he's also quite a good carpenter and grower of cactus plants. Originally from London, he spent a few years in Spain before a quirk of fate brought him back to live in an English seaside town. He can be found at mikeolley.com

Published April 18 2016

100 Worder Web-based Artist

100 Worder

Mike Olley

Web-based Artist

Shoo-Fly Punch

A spider has taken over our shed down the bottom of the garden. We can't use it any more. People say we're silly to be scared of spiders but this one shouts and swears if we approach him, let alone suggest it should leave.

            'I'm an artist,' he says. 'Away, philistines! I'm creating.'

            He uses our tools and doesn't contribute to the rent. Sometimes he works throughout the night, making noise and mess. The neighbours complained but there's nothing we can do, genius is not nine-to-five.

            So, the landlord is evicting us. Well, good luck with telling the spider.

About the author

Mike Olley made music videos but gave it all up to live next to a Spanish castle, where he grew cactuses, practised carpentry and wrote strange funny stories. A quirk of fate brought him to the English seaside where he continues to write. Published in several anthologies, his own collection of short stories is entitled Better. Mikeolley.com

Published May 26 2015

100 Worder Consider Other Passengers

100 Worder

Mike Olley

Consider Other Passengers

A G&T spilled in your lap

The man sitting in front on the train holds his face in his hands, but he's not upset. He's using his phone as a mirror to pick a spot. The screen shows his eyes are dead. It's a phone, not a mirror! If he had used a mirror instead of a phone, he would've seen me in the reflection. I pick my spot. The back of his head. The bullet shatters the phone. Shame, it would've been useful for him to call for an ambulance. But not any more, as the man in front holds his face in his hands.

About the Author

Mike Olley made pop videos but gave it all up to live next to a Spanish castle, where he grew cactuses, practised carpentry and wrote strange funny stories. Unable to take the heat any longer, he returned to England with his sense of humour and a half-baked novel. His first collection of short stories is Better. Mike can be found at http://www.hardeggnews.com

DECEMBER 13 2013: PROCRASTINATION

DECEMBER 13 2013: PROCRASTINATION

Mike Olley

Having a Rubbish Time

A stiff Brandy

Alex lay in bed, apprehensive. He'd done all he could in preparation. Tomorrow was just another day. Right?

After what seemed like an eternity of twitching, tossing and turning, he drifted off to sleep.

But in his mind he was running. Trying to reach a door that got further away. His feet were leaden. He heard a monstrous commotion in the distance. Unintelligible shouting. Growing louder. A fetid odour lingering. It was close.

With a scream, Alex kicked off the duvet and leaped out of bed. The beast departed with a voluminous roar.

Damn! He'd missed the bin men again.

About the Author

Mike Olley made pop videos but gave it all up to live next to a Spanish castle, where he grew cactuses, practised carpentry and wrote strange funny stories. Unable to take the heat any longer, he returned to England with his sense of humour and a half-baked novel. His first collection of short stories is Better.

http://hardeggnews.com/

100 Worder Shake Your Booty

100 Worder

Mike Olley

Shake Your Booty

Isotonic Rum

Rosie had never felt more stupid in her life but had decided to front it out. Stuck flat on her back for the next half hour with everyone staring at her. So what if stripy tops weren't in? She could take the other girls' sniggers. And what was so wrong with the gold earring she was sporting? She'd seen worse. The eye patch was an embarrassment but could pass as a legitimate ailment. The five o'clock shadow was more difficult to explain; the parrot and fake wooden-leg nigh on impossible. Rosie wished she'd read the invite to Pilates class properly.

About the author

Mike Olley made pop videos but gave it all up to live next to a Spanish castle, where he grew cactuses, practised carpentry and wrote strange funny stories. Unable to take the heat any longer, he returned to England with his sense of humour and a half-baked novel. His first collection of short stories is Better.

If you want to send us a story in exactly 100 words check out the 100-Word Challenge here: LINK