Showing posts with label L. F. Roth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label L. F. Roth. Show all posts

Wednesday, 17 March 2021

The Same Old Story

 

by L. F. Roth 


teabag tea, reheated

 

‘Of course, when I grew up, we had no TV.’

          My daughter gave me a suspicious glance.

          ‘In your cave,’ my grandson filled in.

          He was six. I’d joked with him once about having grown up in a cave, with a fire at the entrance to keep the wild animals out. Afterwards I showed him a book with photos of cave paintings.

          ‘Wow,’ he’d said. ‘Did you paint those?’

          But I wouldn’t take credit.

          ‘It was my sister,’ I’d told him. ‘Your great aunt Brenda. I knew better than to paint on the walls.’

          My daughter had put on the exasperated look she has practised to perfection, ever since her teens. Grow up, it said.

          But the wild animals had clearly had him worried.

          ‘Why didn’t you shut the door?’ he’d asked.

          I’d improvised.

          ‘In those days, most caves came without one.’

          ‘You could have made one. Your dad could.’

          The boy is nothing if not practical. He can create the most astounding structures out of Lego. Not doors, perhaps.

          I’d explained that we had no saw, which he accepted. I’m not much of a handyman.

          But although I forgot about it, the missing door must have remained on his mind. He brought it up a few weeks later, as I cleared the table after a memory game. I’d referred again to the lack of a TV set. Entertainment had been scarce. Actually, he might have found the absence of a laptop more exciting. He never watched TV.

          ‘What happened when the fire went out?’ he wanted to know.

          I picked up my four pairs, added them to his twenty-two and shuffled the pack. Recognizing the kind of question my daughter and her friends had passed among them at his age, I smiled. They must have filtered down through the generations. Like elephant jokes.

          ‘It got dark,’ I answered. ‘Right?’

          But I was on the wrong track. The face he wore showed his exasperation. I apologized. ‘Sorry. I’m not with you.’

          He sighed.

          ‘Did they attack? The animals?’

          And then I caught on — and was tempted, naturally, to give free rein to fantasy. Or should I simply claim that we took turns keeping watch? Against what? A pack of wolves? To do what? Pelt them with stones? Did we have some sort of primitive dart board for practice? Was I the champion? I peeked at my daughter, who stood ironing.

          ‘We hired this elephant.’

          I broke off and made use of a gesture to hint at its size. It filled the kitchen. More than filled it, in fact. The kitchen wasn’t all that large.

          He wouldn’t buy it, would he?

          ‘To stand guard. After dark.’

          The steam iron hissed.

          ‘Wow! Did you get to pat him?’

          ‘Her. It was a she.’

          ‘Did you?’

          Do eyes shine like stars or is that just a saying? His did.

          ‘No.’

          ‘I would have. I would have fed her peanuts.’

          I backed off a fraction.

          ‘So would I if I’d seen her.’

          My grandson blinked from concentration.

          ‘I only heard about her. I was asleep when she appeared. Of course, you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.’

          ‘No.’

          His tone lacked conviction.

          ‘It could have been a joke.’

          He pecked at a spot on his shorts.

          ‘There would have been footprints,’ he suggested.

          ‘None that I saw.’

          He frowned. Then his face lit up. He grinned.

          ‘Maybe you didn’t look in the right place.’

          I realized that the old jokes were still going the rounds.

          ‘That could be it,’ I said.

          And we burst out together: ‘In the butter!’

          He grabbed the cards and threw them up in the air. ‘Yippee!’

          I tousled his hair.

          While my daughter put her ironing away.

About the author

 


Saturday, 5 December 2015

Advent Day Five



Advent Day Five
December 05 2015
L. F. Roth

Aristotelian, Is It?

Shandy

This is what happened: there were Leonard and Sheila and Brenda and Stuart, and me, naturally, or else I wouldn’t know what transpired, would I, the fifth wheel, that’s me, but that’s not what this is about, I’m used to it, and we were drinking and enjoying each other’s company as per usual, chatting about this and that—a deli that had opened recently off King’s Road, on the expensive side, a restaurant somebody’s friend had tried and wouldn’t set foot in ever again. But then, I don’t know how, but in all likelihood it was Sheila’s doing, they got onto a different subject altogether and started talking about some interview they’d seen, the four of them, with Jonathan Franzen, on a channel I don’t have access to, and really went for him. You should have heard them. ‘In Freedom,’ one of them said, ‘the parents are straight out of Dickens, if not worse, and their kids end up misfits because of how they’ve treated them.’ ‘It’s not true to life,’ Sheila chimed in, and Stuart who most likely hadn’t read the book, he’s not much of a reader, Stuart isn’t, well, he nodded, as I knew he would, he just can’t help himself the way Sheila’s been leading him on of late, while Leonard, bless his socks, missing the point, blurted out: ‘And far too long.’ He put down his glass for emphasis, which luckily was empty or it would have made a right mess, and it was Brenda’s turn to nod. I can play your game too, was what she meant, siding with Leonard, but didn’t have to say in so many words: Stuart would know regardless, even though rumour has it that they no longer sleep in the same bed. And they went on, the three of them, with Stuart backing them, tearing the book apart, all five hundred pages of it--I have seen it if I haven’t read it and it must be that or more. A lot of words, I tell you. ‘It’s the kids’ own doing,’ said Sheila, as if she was one of the parents who’d been blamed for the effect that they’d had on their brats and Stuart, getting bold, joined in: ‘Yeah.’ ‘So you’re saying,’ I cut in, opening my mouth for the first time, unable to contain myself, ‘that parents don’t? That they don’t have an influence?’ They looked at me as if to say, Where did you come from? But I didn’t care. ‘Mine certainly did,’ I told them. ‘If they hadn’t had children, I’m bloody sure I wouldn’t.’ That shut them up.

About the Author
Stories by L. F. Roth have appeared in competition anthologies published by Biscuit Publishing (2011), Earlyworks Press (2012, 2012-13, 2014), and Bridge House Publishing (2014), as well as on the web (Segora, 2012). They focus on relationships, gender issues and trauma--at times all three.


Published December 05 2015