Monday, 30 June 2025

THE PHANTOM FIDDLER by Guy Pratt, a BBC canteen coffee

The Radio Big Band was taking a long tea break in between recordings. Young Gerry Hawthorne, a promising young percussionist, had only just joined the band and sat at a table with Giles Herbert. Giles was one of the older members, the lead saxophonist well known for his solo pieces.

Giles had been with the outfit when it was the BBC Dance Orchestra back in the 1950s under Cyril Stapleton in the heyday of the big dance bands led by the likes of Joe Loss and Ted Heath. He had played with the great singers like Matt Munro, Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole. By the 1960s it had become the Radio Big Band and was part of the larger BBC Radio Orchestra under Barry Forgie.

Now in the early eighties Giles had become something of a legend himself and could relate many anecdotes of the stars he had worked with in the music world.  Young Gerry had been told that the strangest story of all was the one Giles related about his beginnings in the music industry and now seemed an opportune time to ask him about it. “Giles, how did you get started in all this?” Gerry queried.

Because he knew it always intrigued the listeners Giles agreed to relate his life from the beginning. He explained how he had been brought up by a great aunt in London who he always knew as Mabel and when he was small it was explained that his mother had died in childbirth, which later turned out to be true, but nothing was ever forthcoming about his father. They lived in a small terraced house in the East End of London, survived the blitz during the war when Mabel made ends meet by doing tailoring alterations and clothing repairs at home, with her sewing machine. When clothing was rationed women were often happy to have old dresses refashioned when new ones just weren’t available.

At the end of the war Giles left school just before he was fifteen and started work at a local grocer’s, often doing deliveries by bicycle with a large carrier on the front. It was at this time he had found the old violin on top of a wardrobe and Aunt Mabel had said he could have it if he wanted. He had a bit of a flair for music and gradually learnt to play the violin. They couldn't afford lessons and his efforts were certainly not very polished, but it was a spare time amusement.

Over the next five years Aunt Mabel’s health declined and she could no longer take in work and Giles' earnings were barely enough to pay for rent and groceries. Christmas 1947 looked like being a bleak one for them and Giles decided to take his violin up to the West End and try busking. He found an open square busy with Christmas shoppers and setting his cap on the pavement in front of him started to scratch and scrape on the strings, ignored by everyone except a café proprietor who was coming out to tell him to move on as he was driving his customers away.

It was just before the café proprietor reached him that it happened. The old gentleman appeared. He was dressed in rather an old-fashioned style – frock coat, spats, a top hat and a muffler round his lower face. He took the violin from Giles and with a twinkle in his dark eyes, adjusted the pegs, took the bow, played a note or two and adjusted the pegs again. Then he started to play Dvorak’s Humoresque followed by Bach’s Ave Maria. Pavement walkers were stopping to listen and soon a crowd was gathering quite transfixed by his playing. He almost danced round the square playing the Flight of the Bumble Bee. He paused briefly to tell Giles to take his cap round and while the cap filled with the listeners generosity the old man launched into a medley of popular songs and Christmas carols.

Then suddenly it was all over. The old man had disappeared, the shopping crowds moved on and Giles was sitting on his own on the pavement with his violin. Had it really happened or had he dreamt it, but his cap was full of money, silver and even some notes.

He went home and told Aunt Mabel what had happened. She smiled and said little other than “Take care with the money; we might need it soon.” And it was to be a Godsend to them over the coming two years. They had a better Christmas than they had expected but Aunt Mabel was not going to see many more. She died two years later.

When Giles went to see the solicitor, it became clear that Aunt Mabel had left a small sum, but little was left over after the simple funeral expenses were paid. However, the solicitor had other news for him. He explained that although his Aunt Mabel did not know, his mother had not confided in her who his father was; many years ago he had been approached by an old man who was his grandfather who wanted to make provision for him when he grew up. His eldest son Bartek had been something of a playboy and after a wild fling with Giles’ mother had been killed in a road accident in Paris. Bartek had told his father before the accident that he intended to do the honourable thing and marry her. The solicitor continued “Your grandfather was Cezary Kaminski.”

“Not the Cezary Kaminski, the Polish violinist” exclaimed Giles. 

“The very same” responded the solicitor “and as you may know he left Poland to make London his home. He was a widely acclaimed concert violinist and with the considerable wealth he earned established a Music College here. He left a £1000 pounds for me to pass on to you when I thought you had reached an age of responsibility and in addition a free place at the Music College should you wish to take it.”

Listening to Giles' account of his early life Gerry gasped in surprise “So you are the great Cezary Kaminski’s grandson. I expect you took the place offered at the Music College then.”

“Yes, I did after I got over the surprise and shock of it all. Aunt Mabel never knew all this and as I had been brought up with the surname Herbert, I kept it.” Giles went on to explain that although he had musical talent, he never was a success with the violin, but at the college he experimented with the wind section and soon found he was natural with the saxophone and from then on it had been plain sailing.”

“However, there was one other great surprise” continued Giles. “The first day I entered the college hanging at the end of the imposing entrance hall was a full- length portrait of the founder, my grand-father, the great Cezary Kaminski in frock coat and top hat with those dark twinkling eyes. The very same man who had unexpectantly taken my violin and played to the crowd in the street that Christmas many years ago.”

“So now all the questions about your past had been answered and no mystery remained” responded Gerry.

“Not quite” replied Giles “That Christmas was in 1947. Cezary Kaminski had died in 1938.”

About the author 

 

Guy Pratt is a retired octogenarian second hand bookseller who enjoys gardening, long walks with his dog and travel. He gravitated into the book trade after earlier years in farming, the army Intelligence Corps and the civil service. 

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Sunday, 29 June 2025

Sunday Serial: 280 x 70, 69 ,69, by Gill James , The Marketing Writer, americano

The writer stared at her blank screen. Heavens above! Why must she do this? She was a writer not a marketer, not a car salesman. Couldn't someone else do this?  She should be writing. 

"Remember the thousands of dollars," a more experienced writing friend had told her. "That is your ticket to giving up the day job soon. That will give you permission to spend your time writing."

She found a picture of bundles of bank notes and pasted it into the document she was working on.

Keep it simple, she persuaded herself. Tell them what they need to know: the title of the book, ISBN, number of pages, release date, what it's about (but a blurb, not a synopsis?), what she was willing to do, when she would be available for interview. Maybe a line or two about why she had the expertise to write this book?

She looked at her handiwork. Yes, it all fitted neatly on to one page of A4. This looked professional. Everything was very clear. What further questions could they ask? 

Yes, it all looked competent enough. But it lacked sparkle. Did that actually belong more in the covering email she should send with this perfect press release? Maybe. What should she say?

It came to her suddenly. She should say how this had really been her mother-in-law's story. How she had actually written it for her. How she'd had this wonderful primary resource in a bunch of young women's letters.

That was it. She went through her list, pasted her copy into the body of the emails and attached the press release.

She sat back and waited,

Ten minutes later the phone rang.    

About the author

Gill James is published by The Red Telephone, Butterfly and Chapeltown.  

She edits CafeLit and writes for the online community news magazine: Talking About My Generation.

She teaches Creative Writing and has an MA in Writing for Children and PhD in Creative and Critical Writing.    

http://www.gilljameswriter.com  

https://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B001KMQRKE

https://www.facebook.com/gilljameswriter   
 
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Saturday, 28 June 2025

Saturday Sample: Past and preset by Rosemary Johnson. An Important Call, cold coffee

 Your call is important to us. It has been placed in a queue’. The voice at the end of the phone sounds like a machine and probably is one.

I say nothing.

I’m just settling into listening to Greensleeves when it cuts in again. ‘Calls may be recorded for training and quality purposes’.

More Greensleeves then Handel’s Water Music, played on something weird, panpipes possibly. I tap out the rhythm on my desk.

‘All our call-centre operatives are busy at the moment’.

I reach for my mug, only to remember that I finished my coffee some time ago. Do machines take tea breaks? 

‘We are experiencing an exceptionally high volume of calls at this time’.

You don’t say? Now I’m getting a signature-tune to some television programme from the 1980s. What was it now?

‘Customers are respectfully requested to check that appliances are connected to the power supply.’

Yes, yes, yes. I know that story about the bloke (or woman) who swore his (or her) printer didn’t work and found he (or she) hadn’t switched it on. But I'm not an idiot. My issue is real. I click my mouse several times. Still nothing’s happening on my screen. I need to speak to someone, a proper human being.

Still that awful theme tune. What was that programme?  All I can recall is that I didn’t like it. And I don’t want to hear it now. Come on. Speak to me.

‘Answers to many frequently asked questions are available on our website’.

Yes, yes, you stupid machine, but what good is that to me?  Come on. Where are you, you terribly busy call-centre operatives?  I don’t believe you’re there at all. Or that you even exist.

Not Greensleeves again. I'm going to complain. On Facebook, on X and all the other social media. I’ll write to the local paper. I’ll contact my MP, the Prime Minister even. He needs to know that people in this country have stopped talking to each other.

‘Good afternoon, caller. How can I help you today?’

‘Right. At last. I’ve got no internet.’

‘No internet, madam?’

‘Yes. I mean, no. No internet. I need you to send someone round- ‘

‘We don’t deal with internet queries here, madam. You’ll need to log your service request through our website.’

How?

 

Find your copy here 

 

About the author 

Rosemary Johnson has had short stories and flash fiction published in CaféLit, Fiction on the Web, Friday Flash Fiction, Paragraph Planet, The Copperfield Review, Scribble and Radgepacket and broadcast on Hannah’s Bookshelf (North Manchester FM). She is a member of the Association of Christian Writers (until recently responsible for the ACW website) and she reviews books for Together (trade magazine for the Christian publishing industry). Rosemary loves reading and started writing at a very young age because her favourite authors hadn’t written enough books to keep her occupied. A history graduate, she particularly enjoys writing historical fiction and her novel, Wodka, Or Tea With Milk, set during the Solidarity period in Poland in the 1980s, is published by The Conrad Press. Rosemary blogs at https://rosemaryreaderandwriter.wordpress.com/

Friday, 27 June 2025

A Visit To The Dentist or How Tyler Got His Breath Back by Henry Lewi, ice cold water

Dr Christos Cadmus had arrived in London on the coat tails of the many Old Gods of Olympus who had relocated from their ancient home in Greece to the modern bustling City of London.   A well trained and highly skilled Cosmetic Dentist and Surgeon he had set up shop in a suite of rooms on Harley Street alongside his cousin Apollo, the God of Medicine, serving The Rich, The Beautiful, and The Famous.  

  In his plush and very fashionable clinic, Dr Cadmus provided not just basic Dental Hygiene, Dental Implants, and Facial Cosmetic Procedures; he also skilfully performed the very, very complex, difficult and extremely exclusive Drakontos Odontes Procedure. As would be expected his practice flourished as Gods, Nymphs and Satyrs, as well as Humans and Centaurs, all seeking the perfect smile who were all numbered amongst his patients.

   One dreary Thursday morning he was visited by a patient who gave his name as a Mr Tyler P. Hones who had run into a bit of a problem after losing his four front teeth in a fracas in Las Vegas.

  ‘Bit of an issue,’ lisped Mr T.P. Hones, ‘I run a 24hour poker game at the Devil’s Playground Hotel in Vegas.  There was a brawl when a bunch of very, very rich CEO’s lost their entire fortunes in the poker game at my table.  I may have lost my teeth, but you should see the other guys; I need your services ASAP, the best and most exclusive you can offer.’  

   Dr Cadmus was no fool, he had recognised his patient, knew who he was, and knew how much power this so-called Tyler P Hones could still wield, despite the loss of his teeth.

  ‘Absolutely no problem,’ said Dr Cadmus, thinking for a momen. ‘I have the perfect answer and can provide you with the ideal implants for someone of your status.’

 So Cadmus sat Tyler P Hones down in his Dental Chair, arranged for his dental nurses and technicians to lay out his instruments, draw up the local anaesthetic and specified which implants they should select out for their patient.

  Three hours later the somewhat complex procedure was complete, the new four teeth implanted using his exclusive Drakontos Odontes Procedure, which, as Cadmus knew would be a perfect match, and with a mirror showed his patient the results.

  ‘Perfect,’ replied Tyler P Hones as flames shot out from his mouth. ‘What the f**k? he said. 

 Drakontos Odontes, Drakontos Odontes, Dragons Teeth, my friend’ replied Dr Cadmus, ‘most appropriate for your needs and requirements, certainly for someone of your reputation and standing isn’t it Mr Tyler P. Hones, or should I now correctly address you as ‘Typhon’, thought I recognised you, you’re that old Fire-Breathing drinking buddy of Zeus.  All you need now is to re-learn how to control the flames, simple really, it will certainly add something to your reputation.’

   ‘Perfect, Perfect, Perfect,’ said Typhon the Old Olympian Fire-Breathing God with a broad smile, the flames sputtering out from his mouth, ‘Absolutely Perfect.’

  ‘I know, I know,’ replied, Christos Cadmus, the once Ancient King of Thebes.

  ‘You know, before I used them for dental implants I used to plant those Dragons Teeth to grow the Warriors necessary to defend my Kingdom; a much better use of the Teeth, don’t you think?’ 

About the author 

 

Henry is a retired surgeon and member of the Canvey Writers Group. He has published a number of stories on the CafeLit site 

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Thursday, 26 June 2025

The Murder at Willow Brook Cemetery Part 2 by Maxine Flam, whiskey

 The next day Mater wasn’t there to open up Willow Brook as always. The staff called his name but he didn’t answer. They had a 9:00 a.m. service so they prepared for it not knowing they were about to find their boss where they least expected him to be.

            ‘Gee wiz, can’t the grave diggers get it right? They only dug the grave half way down. It’s a good thing Mr. Mater isn’t here to see this. Let’s get this fixed,’ said James to George.

            James called the diggers and read them the riot act but they swore up and down they prepared the spot correctly. ‘Never mind,’ replied James. ‘Just fix it now.’

The two men got into the hole but it wasn’t hard. It was soft like they were stepping on something or someone. They got on their knees and started digging with their hands until one of them found an arm. ‘Holy Mary, Mother of God!’ said the one grave diggers as he crossed himself. The second digger kept going until he came across a leg. ‘Jesus Christ, I’m getting the hell out of here.’ Both jumped out of the open grave.

            James didn’t understand what they saw and jumped in and began to dig until he uncovered Mater’s face, eyes wide open staring at him. ‘Christ Almighty!,…’ he screamed as he jumped out of the grave.

            There were screams from the family present and mother of the dearly departed passed out.

            George yelled, ‘Get everyone out of here. Take them back to the church and call the cops.’ The people were ushered away. Miller and Kelby were called to investigate.

            ‘Shit…the crime scene had too many people trampling on it.’ said Kelby. ‘This is going to be bitch to investigate.’

‘Hey,’ Miller shouted to the CSI tech, ‘Can you take some casts of some of the shoe prints. I know it’s a long shot but we need to get a handle on this,’ said Miller.

The coroner rolled up.

‘Hey Bill, it’s kind of ironic that today of all days the coroner rolls up in a hearse instead of his normal medical van. If it wasn’t tragic, it would be actually be laughable,’ said Miller.

            ‘So, what do we have here?’ The coroner looked in and tried not laugh although he found it ironic. Mater himself was in the grave, staring blankly with open eyes into space. ‘Someone finally did him in after all the rotten things he did to other people. I wonder how the person did it.’

            ‘That’s what we hope you are going to tell us,’ said Miller.

            ‘If I can.’

            ‘What do you mean, if?’ replied Kelby.

            ‘Sounds like we have a real joker on our hands. I don’t think he was buried alive but I could be wrong so the murderer dumps the body in an open grave and covers him with dirt. That’s a laugh.’

            Ignoring the remark the coroner made that he was enjoying the situation, Miller said, ‘And?’

            ‘Boys, lift him up and put him on the ground,’ said the coroner.

            His staff complied.

            ‘Well, I don’t see a bullet entry or a knife wound while I do a cursory examination. Roll him on his stomach,’ The staff again complied. ‘No knife or bullet wound to the back, nor can I  see any damage to the head from a blow by a blunt object. Someone planned to off him and did a good job. I’m guessing but it was probably a poison of some kind. I’m sure it will be a difficult one for me to locate…Yes, I will check potassium chloride, nightshade, and pufferfish but it probably won’t one of the common ones either like arsenic or cyanide.’

            ‘Why are you being so negative?’ questioned Kelby.

            ‘Because this guy has been a thorn in the side of the cemetery industry for years. A real son of a bitch. He’s skirted the law and now someone decided to off him. It wasn’t done as a spur of the moment thing. It was planned and if he was pissed off to do this and leave the body here for shits and giggles, he was probably as methodical in murdering him with an obscure poison.’

            ‘Why Doc, I never heard you say anything bad…about anyone,’ said Miller.

            ‘Well, there is a first time for everything…I think catching him is going to be a bitch…Load ‘em up, boys. Come by later and I might have an answer…I said might.’

            The coroner drove off and Miller and Kelby looked at each other stunned over what they just heard. They didn’t need to consult Dr. Delmonico. They knew the motive was revenge…pure and simple. They walked into the mortuary office and spoke to James. George was still consoling the family. The grave site was crawling with technicians. The deceased was driven back to the mortuary and put in back in cold storage until such time they could proceed with internment.

            ‘I want all the funeral files for the last six months,’ said Miller.

            ‘Are you kidding?’ said James.

            ‘Do we look like we’re kidding? No…we’re just getting started. Don’t you get it? Your boss was murdered and we have to go through all the files to figure out who might have done it. We especially want to see the ones of people where the deceased’s family had issues with Willow Brook. Go back nine months on those files,’ said Kelby.

            ‘Shit, that will take me all day and maybe into the evening.’

            ‘Then I suggest you get started now,’ said Miller.

##

            Miller and Kelby got the files the next day and started going through them one by one.

            ‘Boy, they sure have a lot of people having funerals,’ said Miller.

            ‘This includes the cremations too,’ replied Kelby.

            ‘You know, it could have been worse. ‘

‘The killer could have shoved him in one of the ovens. No body…no cause of death.’

‘He probably didn’t know how to work the machine.’

‘It couldn’t be that hard.’

‘Then time was a factor. He wanted to be in and out and not draw attention by using the oven. The oven would create smoke. If he did it at night, someone might have noticed something was amiss.’

‘I’ve been putting possibles in this pile and ones that went smoothly in that pile.’

‘That’s still a hell of a lot of people here. How about 72?’

‘There are more disgruntled people than I thought. How are we going to figure this out?’

‘Pure logic, we need to use the board and write down the highly probable people. Also remember the person who took out the ad and had people come to the meeting.’

‘I wonder if there is any record.’

‘We’ll check but to be honest, he’d have to be a fool to have left a name and I don’t think we are dealing with a fool.’

Miller and Kelby checked out the hotel lead and it was indeed a dead end. The hotel mentioned there was a kid who recorded the meeting so they questioned him. Another dead end. Back to the squad room.

‘You know, Kelby, most of the arrangements are made by men unless the man is being buried, I think we should concentrate there. Someone pissed off a man,’ said Miller.

‘Well, that didn’t narrow it down a whole lot,’ replied Kelby.

Miller and Kelby worked long into the night. They believed it was more likely a recent screw-up than something that happened six months ago. That gave them five possibles to check out the next day when they came in.

One by one they went to the various houses of people grieving a loss. Captain Reno warned them they about to tread on thin ice but they pursued it nevertheless. The Fitzgeralds were the fourth name on the list.

            It was lunchtime. Mr. Fitzgerald had come in from the garden to have a bite to eat. That’s where he buried the box with the excess hemlock until he could figure a permanent way to get rid of it.

            ‘How many more left?’ asked Kelby.

            ‘One and then we have to pick five more people,’ said Miller.

            ‘There’s got to be a better way.’

            ‘Unfortunately, not. Didn’t they tell you in detective school there would be cases like this?’

            Kelby glared at Miller as if to say NO!

            They got out the identification cards. Their badges were clipped to the belts. Miller rang the doorbell.

            They heard a female voice say, ‘Arnold, will you please answer the door?’

            Mr. Fitzgerald opened the door and through the screen said, ‘May I help you?’

            I’m Detective Miller and this is my partner, Detective Kelby. We’d like to talk to you about your recent experience at Willow Brook Cemetery.’

            ‘Come in.’

 Gizmo, their mutt dog, came running in from the backyard barking and sniffing the detectives.

            ‘Gizmo down.’ Nothing…  ‘Lisa, call off the dog.’

‘He never listens to me. Gizmo is her dog, not mine.’

            ‘Gizmo, come to mother. ‘The dog ran over to Mrs. Fitzgerald and jumped on the sofa, drooling and wagging its tail.

            ‘As I was about to say, would you like some coffee? I was making lunch,’ said Mr. Fitzgerald as he walked to the kitchen.

            ‘No, thank you. We are detectives with the LAPD working on a murder case,’ said Miller.

            ‘Murder?’

            ‘Haven’t you heard? It’s been on the news since yesterday. The owner of Willow Brook Cemetery was murdered. His body was found in a shallow grave,’ said Kelby.

            ‘Oh my,’ said Mrs. Fitzgerald. ‘I didn’t like the man but I wouldn’t have wished that on him.’

            ‘Someone did. Since you had problems with him at your funeral we needed to talk to you. It seems there were many people who had problems with the funeral home and Mr. Mater as well,’ said Miller.

            ‘Ours was a minor problem and he fixed it. I was mad at the time because the people who worked there did it as a practical joke,’ replied Mr. Fitzgerald.

            ‘We read the file. You received a large discount on your service because you threatened to go to the State Funeral Commission,’ said Kelby.

            ‘He runs…I mean ran his business poorly.’

            ‘Arnold is businessman with a genius IQ and an MBA,’ said Mrs. Fitzgerald proudly.

            Miller and Kelby looked at each other and knew what the other was thinking. This was the guy but how to prove it. That might be the problem.

            ‘Nice home you have here,’ said Miller.

            ‘Thank you,’ said Mrs. Fitzgerald.

            ‘Mind if we look around?’ asked Kelby.

            ‘Not if you mind if I eat while you do,’ said Mr. Fitzgerald.

            Mr. Fitzgerald sat down at table and made himself a sandwich. Miller and Kelby looked around the first floor and while they did, Gizmo jumped from Mrs. Fitzgerald and ran through the doggie door outside into the garden. He barked furiously.

            ‘Never mind, him. He does that all the time,’ said Mrs. Fitzgerald. Mr. Fitzgerald looked uncomfortable.

            ‘Mind if we see the backyard?’ asked Miller.

            ‘I don’t mind,’ replied Mr. Fitzgerald as he began to sweat.

            The three of them walked through the backdoor into the yard.

            ‘Nice garden you have,’ said Kelby.

            ‘Thank you. I like to putter around in it when I have time. I plant tomatoes, flowers…Gizmo, stop digging! Bad boy.’

            Kelby bent down to see what he was digging at and beneath the flowers, he saw a small wooden box. He reached into his pocket and got out some rubber gloves and put them on. He picked up the box. Kelby opened the lid and saw a white powder within three Ziplock bags.

            Miller pulled out the cuffs and read Fitzgerald his rights. After he was finished, Miller asked if he wanted to make a statement.

            ‘Yeah,’ replied Mr. Fitzgerald.

            ‘And that is?’ said Miller.

            ‘I hate that dog.’

End of Part 2

About the author 

 

Maxine has been disabled for the past ten years spending time writing books and short stories. She has been published several times in the Los Angeles Daily News, LiteraryCocktailMagazine, Nail Polish Stories, DarkWinterLit, BrightFlashLiteraryReview, OtherwiseEngagedLit, CafeLit, Maudlin House, and TheMetaworker.com

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)