Sunday 12 December 2021

The Crispin Chronicles 23 Married At Last


by Dawn Knox


Previously: We have the bride, groom, best elf, celebrant and finally, the rings. What can possibly go wrong now?


Crispin hadn’t had time to change the item white owl to deliver the rings on his wedding to-do list to Arnold the Snail to deliver the rings, and then to give it a large tick because the ceremony had resumed almost immediately after the Wooden Robin had been taken under Granny’s wing—literally. She’d scooped him up, tucked him under her arm and marched back to her seat.

“Help!” screamed the Wooden Robin, craning his neck away from Granny’s gnashing jaws, “She’s going to eat me!”

He began to relax, however, once she’d sat down, placed him on her lap and began to stroke his head.

Bartrum put the rings on his book which he was just about to hold out to offer them to Doggett, so he could place one of them on Nina’s finger, when Arnold began to shriek “Save me! Save me!”

Sylvester had escorted Arnold to the side of the Sunken Garden being careful not to step in the mucoid trail the Snail left behind. He’d politely offered Arnold a lollipop buttonhole which had been refused because of the lack of a place to insert it and he’d ensured that Arnold was as comfortable as one can be sitting in a puddle of slime. Then, thoughtfully, he’d placed a few of the leaflets he’d earlier stuffed in his pocket over the gooiest part of the slime trail in case anyone stepped in it. He was just about to go back to his seat when he realised that Arnold’s eyestalks which had been retracted while he slithered along, were now both taut and erect—and pointing at the sky. It could almost have been said that his eyes were protruding so far, they were eye stalks—on stalks. Then Sylvester became aware of a shadow passing overhead.

It was Mavis, the white owl, circling over Arnold.

“Where are those rings, you thieving mollusc?” she shrieked and dived towards him. Arnold moved surprisingly rapidly for a creature with no legs—or perhaps he slipped on his own slime—but in no time at all, he was trying to squeeze between Sylvester’s legs.

The Elf’s legs weren’t long enough to accommodate Arnold and he found himself lifted and carried along on top of his shell.

“Shoo!” shouted Sylvester, waving his arms at Mavis who was directly above, poised for another attack.

“Mavis! Mavis! You get back here!” The Bird-Gnome had rushed down the steps of the Sunken Garden two at a time and was standing in the aisle, shading his eyes with his hand as he tried to outstare Mavis.

“Ahem!” Bartrum cleared his throat loudly.

“Pardon the intrusion,” said the Bird-Gnome, “don’t mind me. Carry on with whatever you’re doing…” He turned his attention back to Mavis, “this is your last warning, my girl. Don’t make me call for reinforcements…”

Mavis slowly circled, obviously considering her options. Without warning, she swooped, skimming Sylvester’s head and then with powerful beats of her wings, she climbed up into the sky.

The Bird-Gnome shook his fist, “You asked for it,” he yelled and pulling a whistle from his pocket, he gave three short, sharp blasts. Five Magpies flew from behind the tall oak and assembled themselves into flying formation. “This way, lads,” the leader squawked and the others followed as one unit. Mavis doubled back over the Sunken Garden, trying to shake off her pursuers but the Magpie squad veered expertly, drawing ever closer to her tail. Nose diving towards the guests, she swerved to the left, obviously hoping to take cover in the woods but the Magpies had anticipated her manoeuvre and swooped down to head her off. The owl ascended rapidly and followed by the Magpies, they skimmed the tall oak and disappeared.

“Ooh, Crispin! A flypast! I knew you wouldn’t let me down,” said Nina, “you really are the very best Best Elf.”

“He’s just wonderful!” bellowed Lulu.

Once Bartrum was satisfied the Bird-Gnome had gone and the flypast was over, he carried on with the service and finally, Doggett and Nina were Gnome and wife. There was a rapturous round of applause.



About the author

Dawn’s two previous books in the ‘Chronicles Chronicles’ series are ‘The Basilwade Chronicles’ and ‘The Macaroon Chronicles’ both published by Chapeltown Publishing.

You can follow her here on
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The Crispin Chronicles

Links to the previous chapters:

Chapter 1 – Her Ladyship’s Garden -

Chapter 2 – The Letter from OFSGAR -

Chapter 3 -The Sweet Smell of Success -

Chapter 4 – A Visit from Peggy the Pram -


Chapter 5 – Nightly Disturbances -


Chapter 6 – Just Desserts -


Chapter 7 – A Little Girl at Large -


Chapter 8 – The Halloween Party -


Chapter 9 – A Glimmer of an Idea -


Chapter 10 – Doggett Sees the Light -


Chapter 11 – Doggett’s Blues –


Chapter 12 – A Genie out of the Bottle -


Chapter 13 – The Christmas Beast -


Chapter 14 – Bellarella -


Chapter 15 – The Stag Omen -


Chapter 16 – The Wedding Carriage -


Chapter 17 – A Wild Stag Night -


Chapter 18 – Wedding Preparations -


Chapter 19 – Even More Wedding Preparations -


Chapter 20 – One More Sleep -


Chapter 21 – The Wedding Dawn -


Chapter 22 – The Wedding Ceremony –

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