Monday, 29 April 2013

Report




Report
Roger Noons
a large Scotch with only a little water



‘Motor Claims, can I help you?’
    ‘Oh yes, good afternoon, my name is James Roberts, I have my car insured with your company and I’m afraid I have to report that I’ve had an accident.’
    ‘Just a moment Mr Roberts, I’ll put you through to …’
     ‘Hello Mr. Roberts, my name is Alison; I’ll be dealing with your claim. Can you tell me is it driveable; are you at the scene?’
    ‘Oh no, I’m at home, it’s a bump at the front, on the near side.’
    ‘Right, if you give me your policy number, it will bring up all your details and save me asking you a load of questions.’
    ‘It’s MoI 650089.’
    ‘OK, yes I have the information. If you would like to tell me what happened, if it’s straightforward, you may not need to complete a form.’
    ‘Well, it was yesterday afternoon, I was driving towards the crossroads at Mossbridge; it’s where the A491 crosses the A4101. I slowed as I neared the shops on my left, but coming towards me was a large Four by Four with its lights on main beam. I was dazzled and pressed my foot on what I thought was the brake, but it must have been the accelerator, as I shot forward. There was a jogger so I swung the wheel, but mounted the pavement and collided with a tree.’
    ‘That’s it is it?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘What was she like?’
    ‘Pardon?’
    ‘The jogger, what was she like?’
    ‘How do you know …?’
    ‘Was she wearing tight white shorts, with a pink top? Did she have red hair, a pony tail that bounced from side to side as she ran? Was she wearing Nike trainers?’
    ‘How on earth do you know all …?’
    ‘I’m your principal witness Mr Roberts, but I can’t say I remember seeing a Four by Four with its headlights on.’

   
Author Bio
Having spent the best part of thirty five years writing reports on such subjects as ‘Provision of Caravan Sites for Travellers’ and ’Aspects of Pest Control in the Urban Environment’, Roger Noons began even more creative writing in 2006, when he completed a screenplay for a friend who is an amateur film maker. After the film was made, he wrote further scripts and having become addicted, began to pen short stories and poems. He occasionally produces memoirs and other non-fiction. He has begun to perform his poems, and has just published ’An A to Z by RLN’, an anthology of 26 short stories. He intends by the end of the year to have followed that up with a novella.
He is a member of two Writers Groups and tries his hardest to write something every day. As well as CafeLit, he has had credits in West Midlands newspapers, The Daily Telegraph, Paragraph Planet, Raw Edge and a number of Anthologies.
Roger is a regular contributor to the CafeLit site and a couple of his stories have been selected for the Best of CafeLit 2012.

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